Episode 43
Kaien carefully shifted his weight onto a sturdier branch so his voice would carry better.
“Alicia.”
The slightly open window was right in front of him. He wanted nothing more than to climb through, but her firm voice earlier kept him in check.
“There was a misunderstanding last night.”
The words had been spinning in his head all day. After Emma’s scolding, he finally realized just how foolish he’d sounded.
“I… I didn’t mean it like that.”
Kaien had always hated nobles who danced around their words, but right now, he almost wished he had their silver tongue.
“I…”
The branch under him swayed in the wind. At least the darkness kept anyone from seeing this ridiculous scene—though even without the “emperor” title, this was hardly dignified for any man.
“I didn’t know anything. I didn’t understand what my words in the garden yesterday meant.”
Alicia, pressed against the wall, widened her eyes. Kaien admitting ignorance was rare—especially about palace customs. Normally, he’d have had the speaker executed.
“I didn’t know what that line in the Dowager Empress’s journal meant, and I didn’t know there was such a rule in the palace.”
Yet here he was, admitting it over and over.
“I only realized why you cried and pushed me away after the head maid explained it.”
If it meant clearing up this awful misunderstanding, he didn’t care about the embarrassment.
The last thing he wanted was for her to think he’d tried to take her like some casual dessert.
“I know ignorance isn’t an excuse for everything.”
His voice, carried through the cold wind, sounded oddly lonely. Alicia held her breath, listening.
“I understand why you don’t want to see me.”
Maybe it was just the window between them, but his tone felt heavier. A pause followed. While he tried to find the right words, Alicia had to fight the urge to peek outside.
“…Then why did you come?” she asked sharply, still hidden behind the wall. Hearing him own up to his ignorance had eased some resentment, but her pride wasn’t ready to forgive him.
“I wanted to clear things up. And… I wanted to apologize.”
Kaien wasn’t good at flowery speeches. All he could do was say exactly what he meant, even if it was from the most unflattering position possible.
“I know—it was a terrible mistake.”
Regret still colored his voice.
“Is that all you came to say?”
“No, I—what I mean is…”
It was hard to keep the conversation going, but he couldn’t just leave it there.
“I told you not to see me. But you always find a way to do as you please.”
“True. Even if you didn’t want to see me, I couldn’t stand letting this misunderstanding last any longer. Not even for a moment.”
“It’s only been a day, yet you talk like it’s been a year.”
Her words had bite. In both lives, Kaien had always made her wait—and if she hadn’t changed first this time, she probably still would be.
“I just wanted to clear things up and apologize.”
Alicia didn’t answer. She understood now, and the shame from last night was gone, but she wasn’t about to accept his apology like some precious gift.
“And there’s something else I want to make clear,” Kaien pressed on.
“I enjoy spending time with you now. I didn’t before, but I do now.”
He wished he could see her face. He hadn’t realized how frustrating it could be not to.
“And… I think of you as someone important.”
Her breath caught, her heart pounding wildly. Unlike him, she was relieved they couldn’t see each other’s faces.
“Last night was a misunderstanding. I wasn’t asking for anything shameless from you—not then, not now, not ever.”
She let out a quiet sigh. His words reassured her, but they also left a strange emptiness, as if he were denying their marriage altogether.
“Of course, I’m a man—so if I ever want someone that way, it would be you.”
Kaien was nothing if not blunt. It was easier to say this without meeting her eyes.
“But I’d never treat you like some late-night dessert.”
Ignorance could still be a crime. That was why, even knowing the truth, she couldn’t forgive him so easily.
“I don’t expect a few words to make up for my neglect.”
…At least, that’s what he said.
“As some small form of compensation, I’ll give you full say over our marriage.”
The words about our marriage from Kaien’s lips were almost surreal. Alicia wanted to see his face, but she couldn’t let him see hers.
“Just know that I’ll always respect you.”
It was a sentiment she’d never heard from him before—or anyone.
“If you ever feel like forgiving the fool I was, I’ll wait for another dinner invitation.”
His voice was still heavy, and the wind outside made it sound even lonelier.
“It might take a while,” she replied, her tone still cool but not as icy as before.
“I can wait,” he said firmly.
“Like you did this past year.”
Then he quickly added, “But I don’t want it to actually take that long.”
His rush to clarify made her almost smile. She could practically picture the flustered look on his face.
“Right?” he asked.
The cold breeze through the small gap in the window reminded her it was time to send this pitiful, tree-clinging emperor away.
“Yes.”
Even that curt answer made his face light up.
“But not tonight. Please go back.”
He nodded automatically, then realized she couldn’t see and answered, “I’ll wait. Tomorrow, the next day… however long it takes.”
“Please, just go.”
He could say no more.
“Then… I hope you have a good night.”
The branch shook loudly, and soon the faint scent of him faded from the window.
The next morning, Alicia woke up and thought of a ridiculous dream, laughing softly to herself.
“Your Majesty, did you sleep well?”
Agnes bowed, followed by the maids, and drew the curtains.
“I had a strange dream. No—more like an impossible one.”
Alicia gave a faint smile as she sat up.
“The wind was fierce last night,” Agnes said, setting out wash water. She nodded toward the window. “Look—one of the big branches broke.”
“…Ah.” Alicia’s mouth opened slightly.
“It wasn’t even a storm, but a strong branch just snapped. The whole staff was in an uproar this morning.”
The branch stretched toward her window, looking as if someone had deliberately broken it—say, if a large man had been sitting on it.
“So, what was this dream you had?”
It wasn’t a dream. The drowsiness vanished as Kaien’s voice from last night replayed clearly in her head.
“I don’t know,” she murmured.
“Still half-asleep, I see,” Agnes teased, not knowing the truth.
“No… I think…”
What she’d wanted so desperately in her past life but had never even glimpsed. What she’d promised herself, she wouldn’t dare hope for this time.
“…I think my dream came true.”
Last night, Kaien hadn’t just offered explanations and apologies. He’d said he respected her and would give her control over their marriage—words she’d once longed for, now given so easily it almost felt empty.
Agnes smiled, and the lukewarm water on Alicia’s hands reminded her this was real. Most of all, that broken branch outside proved it.
“Maybe so.”
Her blue eyes lingered on the branch, thinking of the man who had surely been there in the dark.
Unlock soon!~