~Chapter 41~
“There’s no way she’s trying to harm me now.”
Eileen propped her chin on her hand and stared hard at the teacup on the table.
Honestly, that possibility didn’t exist. Diana’s bold, blunt personality was actually similar to Cedric’s.
In other words, she was easy to read at a glance.
That straightforwardness made her likely to make big mistakes, sure, but it also meant she wasn’t sly or cruel enough to scheme behind people’s backs.
If she was, she would’ve tried to drive a wedge between me and Cedric already.
Instead of yelling at the banquet and drawing attention in a way that actually hurt her own standing.
Maybe that was why Eileen never found it in herself to be truly harsh with Diana.
“You’re too clumsy at hating people.”
Even Diana’s resentful glares didn’t bother her much. That’s why she’d always let them pass. Only when it went too far did she step in.
But expecting Diana to change drastically? That was another matter.
People didn’t just change from a single conversation. If that were possible, Eileen wouldn’t find living her own life so exhausting.
“…But maybe people can change.”
It seemed Diana, like Cedric, might turn out to be an exception in Eileen’s life.
After all, Diana had tried—awkwardly—to apologize. And at dawn, no less.
Eileen could only imagine how long Diana must have agonized through the night, worrying about her injury, before deciding to offer this tea as a gesture of guilt.
“It would be rude to reject sincerity.”
So Eileen drank a few sips. The smell wasn’t bad, but the taste was awful. Like chewing on grass.
Bitter and sharp, almost medicinal. Clearly not normal tea leaves—probably herbs.
Where did she even get this…? Oh, right.
She had forgotten—Diana wasn’t just someone who liked wandering around. She was interested in herbs and medicine.
She often left the castle grounds because the nearby plants weren’t enough, always venturing farther and farther.
Eileen even recalled following her footsteps behind the healers in the castle, chattering away.
That being the case, the tea’s effectiveness probably wasn’t in doubt, even if the taste was terrible.
Deciding it was better to drink it all at once, she downed the cup in one go and popped the candy into her mouth afterward.
“…Even this, you’re alike. As if you really are childhood friends.”
Eileen muttered as she lay back on the bed. Staring up at the ceiling only made her thoughts multiply.
Cedric had backed down earlier. He wasn’t just soft with Diana; at his core, he wasn’t a cold person at all.
Becoming head of House Lowell had forced him to act tough and decisive. His entire life had been a struggle to suppress his natural softness and act the opposite way.
“If it were Sadina or Miara, they would’ve been glad I got hurt and left me there.”
Compared to them, Diana wasn’t cruel. She didn’t even have the will to truly hate Eileen.
She was just afraid—afraid of being left alone, afraid that without Cedric she’d have no family at all.
Seeing that fear so clearly, how could Eileen keep seeing her only in a negative light?
“…Ha.”
Eileen closed her eyes and rubbed at the corners of them.
For now, she wanted to let go of these tangled thoughts. Fatigue soon crept in, slowly pulling her toward sleep.
***
The reason Diana had brought that tea to Eileen was simple.
Ignoring Eileen’s injury had been pricking at her conscience.
“How is Lady Eileen?”
“She should be fine. Though her movements will be uncomfortable for a while.”
“She won’t say if she’s in pain, so please watch her carefully.”
“Of course.”
Diana had been eavesdropping on Cedric speaking with the family physician, pressed against the wall.
Of course, Cedric noticed immediately.
“Diana.”
He looked utterly calm, as if he’d known she was hiding there all along.
Moments like this always made Diana feel he was becoming a stranger—like they were drifting further apart.
“Are you alright? You’re not hurt?”
“Mm. I’m fine.”
“Good.”
The flickering light cast deep shadows across Cedric’s face. He looked tired—drained, in many ways.
His heavy shoulders, his sigh as he scrubbed a hand down his face—Diana knew without being told that she had piled even more weight on him today.
The guilt that already pricked at her like a needle only deepened.
“…Sorry. For disappearing so suddenly. I won’t do it again.”
But Cedric only stared at her for a long moment, his brow furrowed as though he was wrestling with something.
“…I won’t abandon you, Diana. Don’t listen to what people say.”
“No matter what anyone says?”
“No matter what.”
His answer was quick and firm, leaving no room for doubt.
“If you choose to leave me, I can’t stop that. But I won’t go anywhere. I’ll always be here—at this ducal castle, in the North. There’ll always be a place for you.”
“I’m not planning to leave. This is my home.”
“Exactly. House Lowell is your home. That hasn’t changed.”
Looking into his eyes, Diana felt reassured. Still, she had needed to hear him say it out loud.
“But… you do have a fiancée now.”
“Eileen is…”
Cedric trailed off, his expression tangled.
What were they, really? What had happened in the capital? Questions Diana would never know the answers to kept piling up.
“…She’s not a bad person. You don’t need to be on guard with her.”
“I know that much already. You told me before yourself—that I could trust her.”
But that wasn’t what Diana wanted to know. What she wanted was to understand why Cedric could speak of Eileen with such certainty.
“…Right. I did say that.”
Another long sigh left him, his gaze drifting far away in thought.
At last, he turned back to her, nodding toward the room at the end of the hall.
“If you want to talk to Eileen, go into her room.”
“I didn’t come here for that.”
“Then why did you come?”
Her words caught in her throat. She couldn’t admit she had come out of concern for Eileen. Her pride wouldn’t allow it.
“…I just wanted to know where you were.”
“Alright. Let’s go with that.”
Cedric chuckled softly, ruffling her hair like he used to when they were children before walking past her.
“Apologies are best made right away. Trust me—I know.”
He even tossed out a half-cryptic remark as he went.
Flustered, Diana clutched the stair railing and shouted after him as he descended.
“I didn’t come here to apologize!”
“Your face says otherwise.”
“What face?”
“The face of someone who knows they were wrong.”
His last words drifted faintly back up the stairs before vanishing into silence. But she had heard them clearly.
“…That’s not true. Really.”
But of course, it was. She had acted childishly, rudely, swept up in her emotions.
Diana wanted, in her own way, to be Eileen’s equal. To do that, she had to cleanly acknowledge the past—just as Eileen had extended her hand, Diana wanted to do the same.
Not pretending Eileen didn’t exist, but trying to get along with her. Standing tall, like Eileen did.
But the reality was far harder than she had imagined.
“…Should I go in… or not?”
She sat on the railing, hesitating for a long time, too timid to face Eileen directly.
When her legs finally started cramping and she groaned, about to stand up, Eileen’s door suddenly swung open.
Startled, Diana ducked back into hiding in a panic.
