16.
“You must not provoke His Highness at a time like this.”
Back then, I was ten years old and lived in the Empress’s Palace with my mother.
The nanny who also resided there and looked after Moren and me was a very strict woman.
“You understand what I mean, don’t you, Princess?”
“But I want to clear up Gobard’s misunderstanding. Is it really not okay to even ask if he’s all right?”
“Of course not. Anything you do right now would be seen as mockery by him.”
After the Empress’s funeral, my mother fell into deep depression and didn’t leave her room.
During that time, the nanny took care of my brother and me in her stead.
“Especially in times like this, you must keep quiet and reflect. I say this all for your sake.”
“…Okay.”
She strictly forbade any interaction between me and Gobard.
Since I could see some reason in her opinion, I quietly accepted it.
‘Of course, accepting something and doubting it are two different things.’
The nanny’s actions felt like she was deliberately isolating us.
Back then, the Emperor wasn’t even visiting my mother, too preoccupied covering up Count Mivan’s scandal.
It was the perfect time to strike at our little family of three.
Having realized early on that I was a child born out of wedlock, I had become extremely cautious—even toward the nanny who raised me.
‘Still… it’s not that I hated the nanny.’
She was strict, yes, but she had genuinely stepped in for my mother.
And there were moments when the concern and care she showed me felt sincere.
Maybe that’s why I wanted to confirm it so badly.
‘Whether the nanny had ulterior motives or not.’
I wanted to be proven wrong, to wash away the unpleasant doubts.
Because I wanted to trust her completely.
But that wish turned out to be nothing more than a fleeting dream.
One dawn, while everyone else was asleep, Modeway whispered in my ear.
[That woman is alone in your mother’s study!]
Immediately, I tiptoed silently toward the study.
Sure enough, the nanny was rummaging through it in the dark without even turning on the lights.
“Nanny.”
“P-Princess!”
My voice startled her enough to make her spin around in shock—something she rarely did.
I almost yelled at her, demanding what she was doing, but held back.
Instead, I fiddled with my pajamas and mumbled slowly.
“I couldn’t sleep… I want to sleep with you.”
Sometimes, after having a bad dream, I’d sleep next to my mother.
On nights when she refused, I would sleep beside the nanny instead.
So this request wasn’t strange at all, and she approached me with a relieved expression.
“Of course. It’s late, let’s get you to bed.”
“Okay, but…”
Looking up at the nanny as she held my hand, I whispered:
“Why were you in Mother’s study without the lights on? Wasn’t it pitch dark?”
“There was something urgent I needed to organize.”
As she led me out of the study, she asked in a slightly tense tone:
“Then how did you know I was here, Princess?”
“Well… I was heading to Mother’s room and heard a sound.”
To hide my expression, I turned back naturally—toward my mother’s chamber.
“Then I remembered she’s not in the condition to take care of me… so I came to you instead.”
“Oh dear, Princess.”
Hearing the weak tone of my voice, she held my hand tighter.
“Everyone is hurting after what happened to the Empress. But don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”
I swallowed the question I truly wanted to ask and smiled brightly.
“Thanks, Nanny!”
Maybe I realized it then.
That acting innocent and holding back my true thoughts was the easiest way to fool people.
“Princess?”
Brilliant’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.
I gave her a sheepish smile and handed over the neatly sealed invitation.
“Hehe, I’m nervous for no reason! I hope His Highness accepts my invitation!”
Knowing my complicated history with Gobard, Brilliant looked at me with pity and said:
“Enough time has passed since His Highness’s wedding. I’m sure the two of you can grow closer again.”
I said nothing in return, only smiled.
‘I don’t know, Brilliant. Too much time has passed to smooth things over with Gobard.’
The feelings I left unattended had grown too stale and dusty—there’s no way to fix it now.
“I’ll make sure this gets delivered properly.”
“Okay!”
Once Brilliant left the room, I finally sighed.
A useless thought crossed my mind—something unlike me.
‘If the nanny hadn’t done what she did… would things have turned out differently?’
The nanny was eventually executed.
Because everything she did in my mother’s study that night was uncovered.
‘It all came to light because I appeared so suddenly and messed up her cover.’
And because I acted faster than she did.
Unable to sleep even in the nanny’s room, I wrote a letter to the Emperor as soon as I woke up.
I made it sound urgent enough that he couldn’t ignore it:
“Mother is sick! She keeps skipping meals and collapsed!”
As soon as he received the letter, the Emperor rushed to the Empress’s Palace and forcibly brought my mother out.
Not satisfied with that, he moved all his work to her study and began handling state affairs there.
No one was more shocked by this than the nanny.
“How could you handle matters of state in the Empress’s Palace, Your Majesty?!”
Of course, the Emperor—prideful and arrogant—saw her suggestion as insolent.
Suspicious of her words, he investigated the study.
‘And what he found was…’
Fabricated evidence implying that my mother and Count Mivan had conspired to kill the Empress.
As soon as the fake evidence appeared, I shouted in tears:
The nanny had been in my mother’s study last night—and it seemed like she was trying to hide this!
That was how the nanny incurred the Emperor’s wrath and was dragged to the dungeons.
“I’m innocent! I didn’t do this! Princess Neroli! You can’t abandon me like this, Princess!”
‘That’s what I should’ve said, Nanny.’
You shouldn’t have betrayed me like that.
The tears I shed watching her dragged away weren’t fake.
Because the evidence of her betrayal shattered what little belief I had left.
‘The warmth of the hand you used to hold… meant so much to me as a child.’
Resting my cheek on the desk, I stared at my own hand.
Ever since I realized the truth about my birth, living in constant vigilance had been a lonely experience.
I desperately needed someone on my side.
Someone who wouldn’t betray me.
Someone who wouldn’t lie.
‘Someone I could trust completely.’
A person like that.
[Master! Don’t be sad!]
[We’re here! We’ll always be on your side~!]
[Indeed. Rely on us, Master.]
The spirits, attuned to my emotions, appeared and comforted me.
I gave a faint smile and whispered:
“Thank you.”
You’re all I have.
I don’t trust anyone else but you.
‘Because I’ll never be betrayed by people again.’
The interrogation revealed that the nanny had betrayed my mother under someone’s orders.
But the true instigator was never uncovered.
Because the palace was in turmoil after the Empress’s death, and my mother was bedridden in shock—the investigation had been lackluster.
And the nanny had only received a large sum of money, never knowing who exactly hired her.
The interrogation soon ended, and she was executed.
‘In short, whoever used the nanny to target my mother is still here in the palace.’
Could that person be involved in my mother’s death, too?
I lightly tapped my desk with my finger.
‘If so… how is the Emperor involved?’
At the very least, he wasn’t the one who manipulated the nanny.
As I fell deeper into thought, I heard someone rushing down the hallway.
Curious, I looked toward the door just as Brilliant burst into the room without knocking.
“Princess!”
She panted breathlessly.
“Th-The Crown Prince! He’s coming to the palace right now!”
“…What? Now?”
I opened my eyes wide and slowly rose from my chair.
“Really? Right now?”
“Yes! He should be here any moment! What do we do? Should we prepare for tea time?!”
Brilliant looked quite flustered—probably because this was her first time experiencing something like this.
I inwardly scoffed at Gobard.
‘Hah, you must be really desperate.’
I didn’t expect you to wait so eagerly for my invitation.
You didn’t even consider my circumstances—just barging in like this.
‘Well, I guess it makes sense.’
Since I have your “female lead” with me.
Laughing internally, I quickly chose a tea and ordered a maid to prepare dessert.
I didn’t expect to sit side by side with Gobard and enjoy a peaceful tea time anyway.
So I just made things look presentable.
And moments later, Gobard rushed into my palace with a grim expression.
As he entered the drawing room, I greeted him with a bright smile.
