(Chapter 8 – Why Are You Doing This to Me?)”:
5. Why Are You Doing This to Me?
As soon as she heard that voice, she dropped to her knees. Her body moved on instinct before her brain could even register it.
“I suppose I should be glad you haven’t forgotten your master,”
Clifford said in a deceptively calm voice. But his eyes had narrowed, as if saying, Have you been playing around, forgetting your place?
“I wouldn’t dare,”
Selenia replied, her head bowed low to the floor.
She was still afraid of the emperor.
“You haven’t forgotten that there’s only a year left until Lucalina returns, have you?”
It was a warning.
When Lucalina returned, and if Benerucia fell in love with her again… then Selenia’s reprieve would be over.
“Please trust me. I will not deviate from the vow I made to Your Majesty. Even this upcoming farewell—I’ve already informed you of it.”
The breakup with Benerucia was a necessary step. It was the only way to even sit in the shadow of Lucalina.
Only then would he feel the discomfort of losing someone so familiar.
“Yes, you did tell me. But I still find your methods a bit… unreliable—”
The emperor spoke bluntly.
Selenia bit her lip hard with her head still lowered.
A surge of anger rose in her.
Did Clifford Heliosa even trust anyone?
Even in the original novel Thorns of Chloracaen, no such person existed.
Yet here he was, blaming her as if she were the problem.
But what could she do? The person doubting her was the emperor who had gripped her lifeline for eight long years.
“I will do everything I can to earn Your Majesty’s trust.”
As always, there was only one thing Selenia could say.
“You’ll do anything…”
The emperor trailed off, pretending to be lost in thought.
At that moment, Selenia realized it instinctively.
This wasn’t about a warning or surveillance.
He had something specific he wanted her to do.
She could guess it from her eight years of experience following his orders.
After a long pause, the emperor finally spoke.
“In that case, attend the upcoming royal banquet as the partner of Count Pendragon’s heir.”
At those words, Selenia’s eyes trembled violently, though her head remained bowed.
Yenelof Pendragon. He had long been a rival of Benerucia.
In politics, in society, everywhere—no exceptions.
“…That could cause misunderstandings. And if that happens, everything we’ve worked for might be for nothing.”
Selenia tried her best to keep her voice steady.
But as always, in front of the emperor, her voice came out poorly.
Still, what she said made sense.
Plenty of women had tried to make Benerucia jealous by bringing other men into the picture.
Selenia had to be different.
She had to be irreplaceable, incomparable to anyone else.
“My dog’s gotten chatty.”
Clifford chuckled dryly.
A chill ran down Selenia’s spine.
Thud.
She immediately slammed her forehead against the floor.
“I dared to speak nonsense. Please forgive me, just this once.”
“You’re not even asking to be killed?”
The emperor muttered in a low voice.
Even hearing him mention life or death made her flinch violently.
Ah, why had she dared to argue with him? She regretted it dozens of times in that instant.
“Pfft.”
If he hadn’t laughed just then, she might have regretted it hundreds more.
“I’m joking. Why would I kill my dog, who submits so perfectly?”
To her shock, Clifford bent his knees and looked her in the eyes.
Despite that, his tall frame still made the difference in height obvious.
A dog that submits perfectly to the emperor.
What a humiliating way to describe a person.
And yet, at that moment, she felt no shame at all.
Selenia was terrified—so terribly terrified of the emperor who had broken her over eight long years.
“I never imagined you’d do so well, Selly.”
His tone suddenly turned gentle, calling her by the nickname he’d given her.
But of course, she couldn’t even complain about it.
“Truly, you’re a surprise.”
Clifford lifted her chin with his hand, forcing her to look at him.
“You’re more patient and thorough than I thought.”
His hand stroked her cheek with faux tenderness.
“And what’s more, you don’t even irritate me.”
As Clifford leaned in closer, Selenia instinctively wanted to shut her eyes.
But even that was something he didn’t allow.
Frozen in fear, she looked up at the emperor.
“Sometimes I think… you’re almost too good for Benerucia.”
The longer she stayed with Benerucia, the closer she got, the more the emperor would occasionally smile with inexplicable satisfaction.
But he had never said anything like this aloud.
Selenia couldn’t breathe.
To Clifford—still unmarried—Selenia must seem like the perfect empress candidate: obedient and easy to control.
A horrifying thought struck her.
“Maybe there’s a way for you to survive without Benerucia.”
Clifford said, intrigued.
Selenia had spent six years by Benerucia’s side without even getting engaged, weathering countless rumors yet maintaining her position in society.
Only now did she realize she had gained value compared to eight years ago.
And what Clifford’s words truly meant.
For eight years, she had obeyed him without resistance.
Proof that she had no courage to defy her fate.
Besides, if he made her empress, he could keep the Thorn of Chloracaen close for observation.
If Clifford made her his empress, she would spend her life enduring and hiding.
“My entire life… living like I’m about to die?”
Selenia’s lips trembled.
Even the thought was unbearable.
She had only survived the last eight years by clinging to a sliver of hope—that this life might eventually end.
“Never…”
She couldn’t let that happen.
But she couldn’t say that.
“I will not fail.”
Once again, Selenia was painfully reminded.
The only path to survival was through Benerucia Afron.
“Hah. You say that so seriously, now I’m hurt.”
Despite her words, Clifford was still smiling.
“I wasn’t even planning to kill you if you failed this time.”
The emperor’s orders left no room for failure.
If she failed, she would face a fitting consequence.
Clifford didn’t spell it out directly.
He made sure she felt it through their conversation.
Clifford Heliosa remained as cruel as ever.
“…How could I dare fail a task entrusted by Your Majesty?”
Selenia murmured.
“If you say so.”
Clifford replied as if all of this had nothing to do with him.
What a farce.
A tragic play where Selenia alone played the clown, leaping about, putting on a show.
“Well then, I’ll see you at the banquet.”
The emperor said.
As always, everything had gone according to his will, so he seemed ready to return to the palace.
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Selenia bowed low, just as she always did.
Only once his shadow disappeared could she collapse.
She was a mess.
Where fear had left, misery settled in.
Only now did her forehead start to hurt from slamming it on the floor.
Selenia got up and instinctively pulled out a potion.
It was a luxury item far beyond the reach of a low noble like her, but the emperor had provided them, so she had some.
Her hand trembled as she applied it to her bruised forehead.
She didn’t bother to distinguish whether it was from pain or humiliation.
It made no difference.
* * *
Benerucia attended the banquet without a partner—a rare occurrence.
Today, he just felt like someone chattering at his side would be unusually irritating.
And even more rarely… he was waiting for someone.
What am I even doing?
The skin under his eyes was dark from fatigue.
He clicked his tongue at this unfamiliar feeling of waiting but couldn’t bring himself to leave.
Selenia had never acted like the mistress of House Afron.
Yet, surprisingly, the entire household ran like clockwork thanks to her influence.
Benerucia, having lived as royalty, had a notoriously picky taste.
And Selenia, who remembered the details from the original novel, knew him well.
She knew his preferences so thoroughly that the staff, after seeking her advice once or twice, began relying on her for everything.
Thanks to that, Benerucia had felt incredibly uncomfortable during her absence.
Before he realized it, she had completely and seamlessly embedded herself into the household—just as she intended.
…What do I even expect from seeing Selly?
He sighed inwardly.
Even he found it absurd to confront her about “messing with his estate.”
After all, everything she had done was to make his life easier.
Looking back, he had spent the years not even noticing all the things she took care of.
Now he finally knew who was behind it all.
We’ve already broken up.
Clinging to someone after a breakup was something Benerucia always found pathetic.
And wasn’t it Selenia herself who had ended things?
Should I just leave?
Benerucia looked especially tired today, adding a decadent air to his features. As a result, people kept approaching him.
But he didn’t feel like dancing. So far, he’d only leaned against the wall.
He was starting to think it was a waste of time and maybe he should just go.
And yet, for some reason, something kept holding him back.
“The heir of House Pendragon and Lady Daphnen enter as partners.”
Just then, the servant’s voice rang out.
