Chapter 5
3. She Was Different From Before
Even though the head maid was used to serving those above her, her current counterpart was none other than a Grand Duke.
She, too, had grown accustomed to the quiet territory of the viscount’s family.
Even though she had stayed at the townhouse for eight years, she hadn’t encountered the Grand Duke often.
That was mostly because Senelia had usually stayed at the Grand Duke’s estate.
The elderly head maid felt sorry that she had to leave the peaceful viscount’s home.
She didn’t want to add to the maid’s discomfort.
Knock knock.
A knock came at Senelia’s door.
It was a surprising display of consideration, especially from someone who had just barged into the townhouse unannounced.
‘Well, he was always like that.’
Though Benelucia was labeled a notorious playboy, that was largely because he was so popular.
The Grand Duke always saw only one person at a time.
His relationships were clearly defined, and he always treated his partners with courtesy.
Until he met Senelia.
“Selie, open the door.”
When Senelia didn’t answer, Benelucia’s voice came from outside the door.
There was an oddly unsettled tone in his voice.
“Ben, please wait in the parlor.”
Senelia firmly refused his request.
She was standing right by the door—it would’ve been easy to open it.
But what she had done was essentially refuse the Grand Duke.
“Miss…”
The head maid called out to her in a worried, anxious voice.
“Open up.”
“I was changing. You’ve already opened the front door of my house without permission. Are you going to treat my room the same way?”
A noblewoman’s front gate being opened without permission was a serious insult.
Senelia was asking him if he intended to further insult her.
In this country, the only person who could stop a Grand Duke was the Emperor.
Even if Benelucia insulted someone, they had no choice but to endure it.
Because he was of royal blood.
That’s why Senelia usually acted submissively—as long as he didn’t cross the lines she had drawn.
“…I’ll wait in the parlor.”
Benelucia, who had looked like he might barge in at any moment, finally relented.
This was the line Senelia had drawn.
They had been together for seven years, six as lovers, but the Grand Duke had rarely visited the townhouse.
Partly because Senelia had always gone to his mansion—but also because she had never invited him to her home.
So the only place Benelucia had ever set foot in here was the first-floor parlor.
Even if he happened to whimsically come to pick her up, Senelia never allowed him to stay.
“I’ll show you to the parlor, Your Grace,” came a servant’s voice from outside.
Senelia had to give up so much of herself to make Benelucia fall in love with her.
But this place—this one place—she wanted to keep for herself. It was the only place where she could breathe as her own person.
Footsteps followed, and after a while, Benelucia’s voice.
“Let’s go.”
“Miss, is it really okay to do that?”
The head maid finally approached Senelia as if she could breathe again.
“…At least here, I want it this way.”
In other words—don’t ask any more.
Understanding her mistress’s intent, the maid said no more about the matter.
“I’ll help you dress and fix your hair. Please, sit here.”
She led Senelia to the mirror.
The woman reflected in the glass looked very different from eight years ago.
She looked… fine. As if nothing had ever happened.
* * *
Senelia hadn’t always been able to face Benelucia with such composure.
Long ago, she had sadly been someone who still knew how to feel excitement.
As a lover, Benelucia had mostly been kind. He was handsome, broad-shouldered, and possessed the wealth and power befitting royalty.
It would’ve been harder not to fall for him.
“Selie, shall we go out today?”
It was not long after they became a couple.
Benelucia asked casually.
“Are you not busy today, Your Grace?”
It was a new relationship, yet Senelia couldn’t bring herself to feel excited immediately.
She clearly understood that her relationship with the Grand Duke could never be like an ordinary couple’s.
Back then, she carried herself even more stiffly than now.
She couldn’t afford to relax. The thoughts of doing well—of surviving—were overwhelming.
“Even if I’m busy, I’ll make time for my lover.”
He kissed her lightly as he said it.
That gentle smile made her feel, if only for a moment, like they were truly a couple.
So different from the relationship where they agreed not to desire anything or speak of love.
“You haven’t gone out much during your year in the capital, have you?”
He was right. It had been over two years, but Senelia hadn’t visited many places in the capital.
Because she had spent all that time lingering by Benelucia’s side.
“You’re not yet familiar with the city, so I can’t keep you cooped up in my mansion forever.”
She blinked in surprise, momentarily dazed.
Benelucia tilted his head at her silence.
“Selie?”
That finally snapped her out of it.
‘I didn’t expect him to think of something like that…’
That was her honest feeling.
She had thought he simply kept her close for convenience—because she had agreed not to expect anything.
She hadn’t hoped for this. This felt too much like… a real couple.
“Do you not want to? Do you have other plans? Your maid told me you were free today…”
He had even checked her schedule. That, too, was a sign of care.
Such a small consideration, the fact that he was paying attention to her at all, was an unexpected surprise that made her heart flutter.
Dating Benelucia was a matter of life and death for Senelia.
So she couldn’t afford to take it lightly.
Can you imagine how sweet someone’s kindness can feel when you’re constantly burdened with such pressure?
“No, I don’t have anything planned. I’d love to go out with you, Ben.”
And so, Senelia gave in for a moment.
She had never been a naturally strong person.
The armor of tension she wore cracked and fell apart in an instant.
As soon as she answered, preparations for their outing began.
A luxurious carriage arrived.
Benelucia boarded first and held out his hand.
“Take my hand, Selie.”
With his golden hair tied back like sunlight, and silver eyes shining brightly in the dim light, he looked at her with a gentle smile.
Benelucia, in that moment, truly looked like a prince.
Senelia wasn’t a princess waiting to be saved.
She was just a woman who longed for a little romance.
“…Thank you, Ben.”
And so, again… she took his hand, heart fluttering.
She stayed that way, excited, all the way until they arrived at a boutique in the capital.
* * *
Since she arrived with the Grand Duke of Afron, the madam and staff treated her with utmost kindness.
She tried not to be deceived by it, but she couldn’t help feeling like she was special.
That illusion shattered when the madam brought out the fifth dress.
‘…Ah.’
As Senelia stood before the mirror in the dress, a memory flashed into her mind.
The women she had seen during the first year she followed Benelucia around.
They wore similar dresses.
Bold-colored gowns that would suit a woman with pure silver hair.
Senelia had a feeling who this dress had originally been intended for.
Lukalina Elian.
She had long silver hair and blue eyes.
‘…Even if it wasn’t intentional.’
The only Grand Duke in the country was an essential figure in high society.
So Benelucia’s tastes were already well known.
It was only natural for the madam to design dresses to his preferences, especially for such an important client.
Senelia understood that.
She knew this wasn’t some scheme to turn her into Lukalina’s substitute.
‘No, could I even be her substitute?’
She scoffed at herself.
After becoming a knight, Lukalina found dresses burdensome.
In the original story, after reuniting with her, Benelucia commissioned a formal suit for her because she said she hated dresses.
Even though Senelia had asked the madam for recommendations herself, she couldn’t help but wonder—would things be different if she were Lukalina?
‘How many noblewomen must’ve thought the same thing I did?’
They fell for Benelucia’s kindness, wore the dresses he liked, and convinced themselves it was all just for them.
And in the end, they probably fell into the delusion that one day, he would love them.
But Senelia must not.
If she became just another typical noblewoman to Benelucia…
Senelia stomped down on her excitement as she stared into the mirror.
She resolved once again to want nothing from him.
He might not even remember the dresses, but she had to remember that everything he gave her—still belonged to him.
“Did you like the dresses today, Selie?”
As they left the boutique, Benelucia asked.
“Of course. They were all beautiful. Thank you, Your Grace.”
That day, Senelia smiled brightly and gave him a graceful curtsy.
As if she were truly grateful.
But nothing more.
She didn’t cling to him or show any excessive delight.
Her polite response created a clear distance—not quite what you’d expect between lovers.
After that, she used his gifts appropriately, depending on the situation.
But she never once brought any of them back to her townhouse.
