Episode 46
The head chamberlain brought news so fast that it made Kaien’s heart practically leap.
“Glenn, I knew your idea was a good one.”
“It’s an honor if it helped you, Your Majesty.”
It hadn’t gone exactly as the two men planned, but in the end, Kaien had been invited back to dinner at the Empress’s quarters. That was all that mattered.
“If you’re going to attend the dinner at the Empress’s…”
Miller, the chamberlain, spoke cautiously. Kaien glanced at him.
“Of course I’m going. Tell them I’ll be there.”
“Yes, sir.”
Miller motioned to a young page, who quickly ran off with the message. But Miller didn’t leave.
“You still have something to do?”
“I’ll help you prepare for the dinner.”
A question mark might as well have appeared above Kaien’s head.
“Prepare what?”
Up until now, whenever he went to the Empress’s dinner, it had been either out of curiosity, because the food was good, or simply because it felt natural—never with special preparations.
“Your Majesty, since you personally went to the trouble of gathering pinecones, there’s dust on you.”
“Ah.”
Kaien casually brushed at his shoulder. But no matter how much he brushed, traces of running around the garden picking pinecones were still there.
“Well, it has been a while since our last dinner… maybe I should take a bath.”
Glenn found it strange that Kaien would act over such a little bit of dust, but he didn’t comment. He just felt proud that he had been of real help to Kaien today.
“Your new formal uniform arrived recently, tailored to your updated measurements. I’ll have it prepared as well.”
Even without Emma, Miller seemed fully capable of handling everything himself.
“Fine, whatever you like.”
Kaien turned away as if it didn’t matter. But there was none of his usual grumbling about how it was a hassle or telling people to forget it.
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Miller hid a small smile and bowed. He was burning with determination almost as fierce as the maids in the Empress’s quarters.
❖ ❖ ❖
Alicia was soaking in a bath full of white bubbles, but instead of relaxing like she’d said she would, her mind kept running.
“It’s cold out… the dinner will be mostly warm dishes, right?”
“Of course.”
Even indoors, it felt especially chilly today, and thinking about Kaien picking all those pinecones gave her a strange feeling.
“Madam Agnes is in charge of the kitchen, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
“Still… tell them to prepare a drink with cinnamon.”
“Yes, cinnamon is good for keeping warm and preventing colds.”
Nancy, who was helping her bathe, signaled to another maid, who left quickly to relay the order.
“Agnes is personally preparing the dinner, right?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
Truth was, Alicia was impatient. She wanted to see him—no excuse needed—and was simply waiting for the moment he arrived.
“Do you like the scent of the new bath salts?”
“Mm-hmm.”
She answered absently, lost in thought again.
“Your Majesty, today’s gift from the Emperor reminded me of my hometown,” Nancy suddenly said.
“Oh? Why?”
“In my hometown, pinecones symbolize unchanging feelings.”
“Really?” Alicia’s eyes lit up.
“Why’s that? They’re just things that fall off trees… not particularly pretty.”
“Pine trees stay green all year round, no matter the season. Their leaves are sharp instead of soft like flowers, but they never change. So pinecones are considered the fruit of an everlasting heart. We even decorate our rooms with them in winter.”
“I see… so they mean something special to you.”
“They also mean wishing someone sweet dreams and good growth during the long, cold nights.”
The meaning didn’t matter so much—what stuck in Alicia’s mind was the image of Kaien braving the cold to gather them.
“Hopefully they’ll help keep Your Majesty warm tonight.”
She still couldn’t fully picture it, but she knew he’d done things an emperor normally wouldn’t. It was hard not to feel something about that.
“I’m just… too busy trying to make sense of it all to sleep properly,” she told herself, insisting it was thought, not emotion. But she couldn’t help wondering—could the “decision-making power” he’d handed over really mean the freedom she’d always wanted?
❖ ❖ ❖
The silver candlesticks were lit, fireplaces blazed, and the room felt warm and welcoming.
But the most striking thing in the Empress’s quarters tonight was Alicia herself.
“Isn’t this a bit much?”
“What do you mean? You look exactly as usual,” Agnes said smoothly.
“Yes, always so neat,” the younger maids chimed in.
“Really? Well… if you say so.”
After her bath, they’d dressed her in a winter gown, added a touch of rouge, and combed her platinum hair loose over her shoulders. She looked more elegant than ever.
“It’s time to go down,” Agnes said, taking her hand before she could mess up her hair.
“His Majesty will be here soon. Everything is perfectly ready.”
“Okay.”
Servants were already lined up at the entrance to greet the Emperor. Alicia stood at the front, adjusting her skirts.
Kaien always arrived exactly on time. Any moment now, the doors would open… and they did—except he opened them himself this time.
“Your Majesty,” everyone bowed.
Instead of his usual comfortable shoes, he wore polished dress shoes, the kind he’d wear to a ball.
“Alicia.”
Her name came in a low voice by her ear. Instead of simply telling her to rise, he took her gloved hand and helped her up.
“Yes.”
She was used to wearing gloves at formal events, but seeing Kaien in them was new.
“It’s been a while. Won’t you look up and show me your face?”
When she did, she saw him in a sleek black formal uniform she hadn’t seen since their wedding. He looked good—too good, in fact, for her to hide her surprise.
“Shall we… go to the dining room, then?” she stammered.
“I’m looking forward to it,” he said. “I’ve missed you.”
And so, in a completely unexpected way, their first wedding anniversary began.
❖ ❖ ❖
The dinner was perfect—no problems at all. But Kaien kept staring at her, so it was hard to focus.
“Have you accepted my apology?” he finally asked.
“You mean… for that awful misunderstanding and my ignorance.”
Alicia wanted to say no, but she found herself nodding.
“Yes.”
His actions had been bad, but she knew now he hadn’t meant harm. And after hearing about his childhood from Emma, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.
“Whew.”
Kaien let out a breath of relief.
“I honestly worried you’d think me some shameless brute.”
“I did that day, but… not anymore.”
He kept looking at her, as if waiting for something else.
“You’re still not smiling,” he said.
“It’s not that I’m angry. I’m just… still tense.”
“Fair enough. I suppose it’s selfish to expect you to cheer up so quickly.”
Was he always this… mild? It didn’t match her old memories. She’d even feared he might blow up at her tonight, but clearly, she’d been wrong.
“I want to ask you something,” she said.
“Anything.”
“That day at my window, you said you’d give me complete control over our marriage. What exactly did you mean?”
“Exactly what I said—complete control.”
He answered without hesitation.
“Like tonight, when you invited me back to dinner… and let me walk through the door instead of climbing through a window.”
His low voice brushed against her ear like it had that night.
“Even if you told me to leave right now, before dessert.”
His black eyes held hers.
“It’s your choice.”
The intensity of his gaze was almost too much to bear. Her heart felt too full to keep inside.
“My choice is…”
The pause felt like forever.
“…to have dessert in the sitting room next to the bedchamber.”
This time, Kaien was the one left holding his breath.
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