Yes, love is a dirty emotion.
On the surface, it is prettily and beautifully wrapped, but once you strip away that wrapping, it becomes more vile and filthy than any other feeling in the world.
“Haa… ha….”
Prox looked down at Clemati beneath him, panting roughly.
The neat clothing that had tightly bound her was now completely disheveled by his own hands.
The buttons that had been fastened all the way up to her neck had come undone, her front parted enough to reveal her chest.
Clemati’s skin was as pure and white as freshly fallen snow.
Not a single scar marred it, smooth and delicate in texture.
And the full curves that couldn’t be discerned beneath her uniform were now plainly revealed.
For a brief moment, confusion crossed Prox’s mind.
Was Clemati, who looked up at him with tear-filled eyes as if she knew nothing, truly the same as everyone else?
Could it be that she was different?
But the more he traced over her beautiful form, the more a sense of disgust seemed to build within him.
Someone so outwardly beautiful, with such exceptional ability—
Why would she harbor such a foolish emotion?
She could have been perfect. Why, then?
Prox stripped away her clothes one by one, tossing them beneath the bed.
Each time another piece of fabric fell away, Clemati shut her eyes tightly or bit down on her lower lip in distress.
That was exactly what Prox had intended.
Love naturally led to physical intimacy.
He meant to show her just how different reality was from the fantasy she had never experienced.
Yet, as he watched her in distress, Prox felt an inexplicable irritation rising from somewhere deep within.
Perhaps it was because he had trusted Clemati, and thus felt a greater sense of betrayal.
Without hesitation, Prox pressed down on Clemati’s thigh and positioned himself between them.
“Hahk!”
A short cry of pain escaped her.
Clemati threw her head back, unfamiliar sensations overwhelming her as she breathed in quick, heated gasps.
Her arms, having nowhere to rest, flailed helplessly in the air.
Unable to bring herself to wrap them around Prox’s neck, she clasped her hands together and covered her mouth.
If a servant passing outside the bedroom were to hear her voice, it would be disastrous.
But Prox seized her wrists and pulled them away.
Then, with one hand, he grasped both wrists roughly and lifted them above her head.
“Ah… ahh….”
Sweet sounds spilled uncontrollably from between her parted lips.
Clemati looked up at Prox with reproachful eyes, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask him to let go, nor voice any protest.
Prox let out a faint, crooked laugh.
Is this love?
Is this the love you wanted, Clemati?
Are you satisfied being taken like this, unable to even share a connection with the one you claim to love?
What kind of feelings could you possibly share with someone when you can’t even speak a single word of what you want?
With those resentful thoughts toward her, Prox’s movements grew increasingly intense.
“Hngh!”
Clenching her teeth, Clemati endured, struggling desperately not to make a sound.
Her lower lip turned pale as her teeth dug into it, cutting off circulation.
Watching her writhe, the smirk on Prox’s lips gradually stiffened.
This was merely a process to make her realize the foolishness of love.
And yet—
Why was that subtle irritation, which had been creeping up on him, now spreading so strongly that it began to wrap around him completely?
When she came to her senses, she was on the bed, still bearing the unmistakable traces of what had happened.
The faint light of dawn softly illuminated the bedroom.
Pushing up her heavy eyelids, Clemati immediately recalled the previous night.
She had agreed to become Prox’s lover for three months, and in accordance with his demand, had shared a physical relationship with him in his chamber.
If only she could turn back time, she wanted to go back just one day.
No—if possible, to before she confessed.
No, even further—to before she had ever met him.
Suppressing every sound, Clemati slowly rose from the bed.
Her muscles, having gone through something unfamiliar, screamed in protest.
The pain spreading from her waist in particular was beyond description.
If it hadn’t been dawn—if Prox hadn’t been sleeping right beside her—she might have already cried out loud.
Gritting her teeth, she endured the pain and forced herself upright.
When she pulled back the blanket, she was met with her completely bare body.
She had never even slept unclothed when alone…
Embarrassment made it hard to even look at herself.
Climbing down from the bed, Clemati gathered the scattered clothes from the floor.
Then she sat down and dressed herself slowly.
From time to time, she peeked over at the bed to check whether Prox had woken up.
Fortunately, he remained fast asleep, breathing evenly.
Once fully dressed, all she needed to do was slip out unnoticed.
But without realizing it, she stopped in front of the sleeping Prox.
She had seen him doze off in his office or carriage before, unable to overcome his fatigue.
Each time, she had quietly draped a prepared blanket over his shoulders.
And then she would watch his sleeping face in silence.
Deep-set eyes, pale skin with a faint bluish tint, and a firm, masculine frame.
When still, he gave off a somewhat cold impression.
Yet when he slept so defenselessly, he seemed softer than usual.
She had always found that change fascinating, secretly enjoying watching him sleep.
But this was the first time she had seen him in such deep rest.
Standing there blankly, Clemati finally snapped back to her senses.
She couldn’t waste time like this.
Soon the sun would rise, and the servants would begin their day.
If she ran into the attendants of his chamber in the corridor—
The thought alone was terrifying.
Shaking her head, Clemati hurriedly turned away.
She opened the door, checked the empty corridor, and slipped outside.
Even as she closed the door, she confirmed that Prox was still asleep.
Fortunately, she didn’t encounter anyone as she descended the stairs and made her way toward the annex.
Waking up early had been a blessing.
“Assistant!”
Just as she was about to reach the annex, Clemati flinched at someone calling her.
She swallowed dryly.
Slowly turning her head, she looked toward the voice.
“Did you sleep well? You’re out quite early today.”
It was the maid she had encountered the previous night on her way to Prox’s chamber.
The maid seemed to think Clemati had just come out of the annex.
Clemati glanced at the building.
Right next to the annex was where the servants stayed.
Maids were just beginning their day, stepping out after changing clothes.
It had been a close call.
The timing, just as Clemati reached the annex, felt almost like luck was on her side.
“I thought I should be more diligent, since I’ve been given a place here.”
Just like the night before, Clemati quickly adapted to the misunderstanding.
“I see. You always work so hard. By the way, when you went up to deliver those documents last night, nothing happened, right?”
Thump.
Her heart dropped and then surged back up violently.
The maid still remembered Clemati going to Prox’s chamber last night.
Surely she wasn’t suspicious?
Her mouth went dry, her mind blank, unable to think of a response.
“What do you mean, nothing?”
“You went up quite late, so I was worried.”
The maid stepped closer with a concerned expression.
After making sure no one was nearby, she leaned in and whispered quietly,
“No matter what, the master is still a man in his prime, isn’t he? If a beautiful woman like you enters his private quarters that late at night… wouldn’t it stir thoughts that weren’t there before?”
Fwoosh.
Clemati’s face flushed bright red.
The maid clearly knew nothing.
She wasn’t probing either.
And yet, what the maid had worried about had indeed come to pass.
Clemati had walked into a man’s chamber of her own accord—
And was now returning after having given up her innocence there.
