~Chapter 62~
Baldwin looked at Anais, who had fallen asleep in his arms. Only her quiet, deep breaths filled the silence.
“Anna.”
Baldwin moved his lips.
He had secretly called her name many times, but it still felt unfamiliar. His voice always grew soft whenever he said her name.
Baldwin let out a deep sigh and hugged Anais tightly against his chest.
“Mm.”
Baldwin held his breath, waiting until Anais settled and became quiet again. Her profile glowed in the moonlight.
Anais was a strong person.
Even when she was left all alone, she never broke down. She always fought until she won and escaped, like a true fighter.
Those three women only had the courage to face Anais when they were together. Anais was nothing like them.
Baldwin admired Anais’s courage and boldness. He liked that she wasn’t afraid if she knew she hadn’t done anything wrong.
Even if she was knocked down, Anais always stood up again with her unbreakable will. To Baldwin, she shined.
The more time Baldwin spent with Anais, the more he noticed everything about her.
People noticed this too. Everyone was drawn to her light like moths to a flame.
Jealousy, envy.
Fear.
Or love.
It was easy to see which one was the strongest.
Gwenndolyn was someone who loved herself the most. She believed the world revolved around her, so Anais’s light must have bothered her.
It must have been easy to stir up the dowager, who always felt insecure about her place.
And it was even easier to bring in Countess Crenbel, who always wanted to be part of the highest social circles.
“Don’t worry about anything.”
Baldwin whispered softly.
“Nothing will be able to bother you anymore.”
As if she understood, Anais moved a little in her sleep. Baldwin held her even closer.
His arms were full of Anais’s scent and warmth. Yet he still felt like it wasn’t enough.
His desire for her only grew stronger every day. He couldn’t even name this feeling.
It was so strong it was almost destructive.
Poets say love is sweet and bitter, but what Baldwin felt was even hotter, more desperate.
He hadn’t known this before.
He’d thought he just noticed Anais because of her kindness and sincerity. He thought his feelings would go away, but when Anais got married, he felt something missing—but only up to that point.
Only after having Anais did he realize:
All of it was never something light.
His eyes were always on Anais, and his heart was already full of deep feelings for her.
That feeling of “missing” was really just another name for despair.
Baldwin realized he’d never really let Anais go from his mind, not even once.
‘I was too stupid to see it.’
In the end, he could only watch as Anais walked out of hell by herself.
He’d made her walk toward him on her own.
The worst part was, he hadn’t even realized he was doing that.
But now, things were different. Now that he understood his own feelings, Baldwin knew he could never lose Anais again.
He wanted to be a good person for her. He wanted to be generous enough to heal her wounded heart.
That’s why he couldn’t let her see his true self.
The truth was, Baldwin wanted to kill Gwenndolyn. If Anais left because of that woman, he really would.
He wanted to tear Egbert to pieces. If Egbert ever hurt Anais again, Baldwin would not hold back.
And as for Anais’s parents—the people who caused her first heartbreak—he wished them all the misery in the world.
Baldwin hid these monster-like feelings deep inside. He forced himself to hold back, only for Anais.
He was cold and heartless to everyone except Anais, always wearing a mask in front of her so she would never see his true nature.
Baldwin buried his face in Anais’s soft hair. Her sweet scent calmed his wild side.
For now, he could hold it in. He tightened his grip on his rage and hatred, just for Anais.
“Anna.”
With everything he had.
* **
‘Anna.’
It was the same voice I’d heard in my dreams before. I touched my ear, confused.
I felt like I’d really heard it. It was such a low, heavy voice. Even the little roughness in it sounded sexy—a man’s voice.
I didn’t know why Baldwin’s face came to mind.
Maybe it was because the voice fit him so well.
Maybe my dream was just making the Baldwin I’d always imagined come alive.
If he ever called me that—
“I think I’d be happy.”
I whispered without meaning to.
It was a name everyone used. But if Baldwin called me by it, it would become special.
Maybe that’s because Baldwin made me feel special…
Knock, knock.
“We’ve arrived, Your Grace.”
“Oh.”
The sudden knock startled me, and I fixed my clothes nervously.
“May I open the door?”
“Yes.”
The coachman politely opened the door and helped me step out of the carriage.
“It’ll take some time. You can go eat or have some tea nearby. Come back in two hours.”
I handed him some money, and his face lit up.
I turned away from the grateful coachman and looked up at Sezares Hospital with a serious face. My mother had to get treatment here.
My mother’s illness didn’t even have a proper name. It was a rare disease, with only five cases ever reported in medical journals worldwide. The first case had been ten years ago, so there was no real cure.
Because the person who discovered it first, it was called “Cedric.” The medicine my mother took only helped with symptoms, not the disease itself.
The real problem was the medicine.
The only place that made it was the Pharmacy Association in the Duchy of Uras, and they had a monopoly.
It was hard to become a supplier, and having money didn’t guarantee anything. Plus, you had to own a hospital.
Sezares Hospital could get the medicine only because my grandfather had been friends with the Duke of Uras. But both of them were gone now, and I couldn’t get it on my own.
“Then I have to persuade the hospital director.”
I took a deep breath to calm my nerves.
If I gave up on my mother, I’d regret it forever. Some people might think I’m foolish, but I couldn’t just ignore my mother and father.
There were just as many good memories as there were bad ones.
‘Anna, look over here. That’s right! When did my baby grow up so much?’
That warm embrace…
‘I love you, my baby. Grow up healthy forever, just like this.’
That gentle voice whispered in my ear.
Why did those sweet things stick with me so much?
Even though I hated them, I still held them in my heart. That’s what love and hate is.
The director of Sezares Hospital was waiting in the lobby. He must have been looking for me.
“Ma’am—oh, Your Grace!”
The director was flustered as he greeted me.
“How have you been?”
“Yes, thanks to your concern. Have you been well, Your Grace?”
“I guess not, since I’m here.”
“…I’m sorry, Your Grace.”
“Let’s talk somewhere else.”
This wasn’t something to discuss in a busy place, and it wouldn’t be a short conversation.
We went straight to the director’s office on the second floor.
The director wiped the sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief before speaking.
“I hope you can understand how difficult my position is, Your Grace.”
You’re just worried about yourself.
“…My mother’s life is at stake.”
The worst person is the one playing games with my mother’s life.
Egbert, you bastard.
