Chapter 10. Ah, I’m Doomed. I’m Really Doomed
2021.12.04
With that, I returned to Ascan, holding the non-alcoholic drinks as planned. The place he was in wasn’t far, so he probably saw the scene a moment ago when I had scolded the nobles. I had no reason to hide what I had done, so I handed him one of the two drinks I brought without saying a word. Ascan looked surprised, as if he hadn’t expected one for himself, but he bowed politely and accepted the cup. Taking a sip, the beautifully colored drink was refreshing and slightly sweet, easing some of the irritation I’d felt earlier.
“Are you really going to tear their mouths apart?”
It was an unexpected question. I had thought Ascan would pretend he hadn’t seen the earlier scene. I didn’t know why he was curious, but there was no reason to avoid answering.
“That’s impossible.”
“So it was a lie?”
“Not a lie, more like a warning.”
I glanced around at the nobles nearby. Even at a glance, the murmuring from earlier had died down considerably. They were all wary of me, unable to speak freely.
“I just expressed ‘I won’t tolerate this anymore’ a little more aggressively. Some people don’t understand unless it’s put bluntly.”
“I see…”
Ascan finally seemed to understand, nodding. I wondered why someone usually so indifferent would be curious about this.
“Were you worried I might actually tear their mouths apart?”
“You seemed capable of it, Miss.”
His calm answer left me dumbfounded. I wanted to argue—‘How do I look like that?’—but I couldn’t, remembering my past misbehavior.
Tch, he’s making me speechless.
I shifted my gaze and saw young noblewomen looking over at me. Their faces were slightly flushed, but it didn’t seem to be because of me. Following their line of sight, I noticed Ascan. It made sense. Even when he was messy, he couldn’t hide his handsomeness. Now, all dressed up, he naturally drew attention. Watching him like that made me inexplicably pleased.
“Ascan.”
His golden eyes, deep as an abyss, turned toward me.
“Look over there. Those young ladies seem interested in you.”
He glanced briefly in the direction I indicated, then stepped aside so they couldn’t see him. I was taken aback by his unexpected move.
“What, are you embarrassed?”
“No. I just find it uncomfortable.”
I thought at his age, most would be curious about the opposite sex. I couldn’t hide my curiosity and asked outright.
“Uncomfortable? Because of your status?”
This was a royal ball. The young ladies here were all nobles, so Ascan, as a slave, might feel the pressure. But there was no expectation for him to form deep relationships—simply enjoying attention shouldn’t be a problem. Throughout history, people are drawn to beauty, and Ascan was exceptionally handsome, so he could have enjoyed it.
“I just don’t like it. Their eyes seem like they expect something from me. I can’t do anything for them, and I don’t want to.”
Having observed Ascan over time, I knew this was genuine. I summarized him in one sentence:
“You’re the type who struggles with romance.”
“I don’t care about that.”
“Oh, those who say that are usually the first to fall in love.”
I joked, and Ascan gave me a look full of unspoken words, but said nothing further. I always hoped he’d feel more at ease around me, but maybe that was just selfish.
“Well, if you don’t like this place, let’s go outside.”
I strode forward, and Ascan followed, asking:
“I may be fine, but shouldn’t you stay here, Miss?”
“Me?”
The royal ball wasn’t just filled with gossip-loving nobles or beautiful young ladies. Groups of elegantly dressed young men were mingling, too. This was a social ground where nobles of Arwen Empire met. Lower nobles craved invitations to build connections with many people. If I left, I’d be missing that opportunity. But I knew many men were watching one spot intently—it was where Noxia was conversing, smiling.
“I’m fine. I don’t plan on stealing my sister’s suitors.”
Unlike the original Tanacia, I had no intention of intruding. Ascan didn’t press further. Apparently, he understood my meaning. When we stepped into the garden, beautifully illuminated by soft lights, I felt a certain charm in the night scenery that the sunny day couldn’t provide. Strolling slowly, sipping our drinks, the soft music from the distant hall reached us. The fresh night air, the scent of grass, and the pleasant music made me feel unusually relaxed. I had imagined being surrounded by people at the ball, but being away from the crowd wasn’t so bad.
“Ascan, you prefer this kind of calm over the noisy crowd, right?”
“If I had to choose between earlier and now… yes.”
“Good. I’ll remember that.”
He looked puzzled.
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
“I’ll remember what you like and dislike.”
He looked even more confused, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“We agreed to be happy together, right? I need to know what you like to make you happy.”
Ascan had been locked in a lab his whole life—he probably didn’t even know his own preferences. So, I would guide him, removing what he disliked and adding what he liked, so he could eventually understand happiness. He stared silently at me, as if trying to read my mind, and I smiled again.
“From now on, you should remember too. What you like and what you don’t.”
Ascan couldn’t understand the Tanacia before him. The more he looked, the more mysterious she seemed. Cute, handsome, remarkable—she casually said things he had never heard before. She bought him fine clothes and served him generous meals.
There must be some hidden motive.
He expected her true intentions to reveal themselves eventually, so he remained cautious and alert. But her words, “Remember what you like and dislike”, stirred something within him. He had never been asked his opinion. No one cared about his feelings; everyone focused on experiments regarding the human weapon. Tanacia’s prediction was correct—Ascan didn’t even know his own likes and dislikes. Listening to her, he felt a small whirlpool in his chest, and his head felt warm.
I thought the royal ball would be interesting, but it’s nothing special.
Everyone here looked fancy, but it was like they wore masks on their faces. They flattered those stronger than them and crushed those weaker, mocking them. Surprisingly, one target of their mockery was Tanacia herself. Even she, who had been a terror in the Brelloff mansion, could be seen as weak to someone else.
Listen carefully. If you whisper behind my back one more time… I’ll tear anyone’s mouth apart. If you’re curious, try talking again.
Hearing those words, I felt strangely satisfied—as if striking back at those who had tormented me.
Yeah. I don’t like this place, but this moment… isn’t so bad.
But what exactly made it good? The sweet drink? The decorated garden? Or the cool night air? Ascan pondered, staring at Tanacia. She had told him to remember likes and dislikes, but he couldn’t distinguish them yet. He didn’t enjoy the royal ball, but this moment wasn’t unpleasant. Following Tanacia, he wandered the hall’s perimeter, observing the grandeur and luxurious decorations. If it weren’t for this place, he’d never see such luxury.
Then—rustle. Ascan heard footsteps approaching. His training as an experiment gave him extraordinary hearing, so he caught even faint sounds. We were deep in a secluded part of the garden. Ascan glanced at Tanacia, who hadn’t noticed the approaching figures.
Should I tell her?
The thought disappeared as quickly as it came. There was no reason to intervene. He would simply stay low until they passed.
“…From the Brelloff family…”
“Do I have to… Ugh, bothersome.”
Voices reached us. One sounded like a boy, the other an adult male. The words Brelloff family caught my attention immediately. Gradually, their conversation became clearer.
“Do not worry, Your Highness. Building rapport with Lady Brelloff may help you in the future.”
Crown Prince? In the Arwen Empire, that referred to Rohel, the male protagonist of The Beloved Saint. My heart raced at the thought of encountering him unexpectedly, but the next line distracted me.
“I don’t want to play house. When I become emperor, I want to make Arwen Empire stronger.”
“I understand. You need connections with the Brelloff family for that.”
“Hah. A birthday ball, yet I must mingle with Lady Brelloff, whom I have no interest in.”
Oh no… this is something I shouldn’t be overhearing.
“Being on good terms with nobles is a royal virtue.”
“Sounds grand, but aren’t you just flirting with a girl you don’t care about?”
The more I listened, the more my hairs stood on end.
This is bad.
I couldn’t see his face yet, but I guessed the approaching person was Rohel. And judging by the novel, the man speaking to him was likely his loyal retainer, Reigard. Before Noxia met Rohel, he had a negative image of her. Being the Crown Prince, he wanted a strong empire and disliked aristocratic privileges. I hadn’t thought much of it, but hearing this here wasn’t ideal. I was Noxia’s older sister and head of the Brelloff family. If Rohel knew I overheard this, it could make future interactions awkward.
I moved quietly, signaling Ascan to follow me. I needed to leave unnoticed. Then, an unexpected voice spoke.
“Sis, what are you doing here?”
Reflexively, I turned to see Noxia, looking like a forest fairy. Her warm blue eyes met mine.
“How do you…”
Before I could finish, a loud voice came from the direction we’d overheard:
“Who’s there?”
Two figures appeared before us. As expected, one was a boy and the other an adult. The red-haired, handsome Rohel and his retainer, Reigard. Rohel’s appearance was striking, befitting a protagonist. But I couldn’t focus. My mind went blank.
Did Noxia… hear what I just heard?
If she hadn’t, maybe we could manage the situation.
“I didn’t expect anyone to come this far from the ballroom… who are you?”
Rohel seemed concerned we might have overheard earlier. He scrutinized me, Ascan, and Noxia. I swallowed hard, watching Noxia’s reaction. She subtly bowed toward Rohel first.
“Your Highness, I’m Noxia of the Brelloff family, and this is my sister, Tanacia. We came out because we couldn’t find my sister inside the ballroom.”
I had to catch my breath.
Noxia, how did you know he’s the Crown Prince?
Surely she hadn’t overheard… The surprise wasn’t just mine. Rohel and Reigard, who had just been discussing the Brelloff family, looked momentarily flustered.
“…We had a potentially misleading conversation earlier. If you overheard, I’d like a chance to clarify.”
“No. Today’s focus is Your Highness’s birthday. I cannot cause trouble. I’m no longer the age for playing house.”
Rohel spoke carefully, clearly embarrassed.
“…You heard, then.”
“Yes, I heard clearly that you don’t wish to play house.”
I had no choice but to rub my throbbing head. My plan to engineer Noxia and Rohel’s first meeting was failing.
“If you don’t mind, we’ll withdraw first. Happy birthday, Your Highness.”
Rohel and Reigard could not object. Noxia took my hand and led me away. I despaired as we left the royal garden.
Ah, I’m doomed. I’m really doomed.
Unaware of my thoughts, Noxia, noticing my sudden grim expression, asked worriedly:
“You’re not upset by what you just heard, right? I didn’t think the Crown Prince would behave so poorly.”
I wasn’t upset—I felt my life was in danger. At this rate, I might not escape the fatal route alive.
