IAMFMFL CH 04

Why is he calling me over again, honestly.

I pretended to clear my throat and pressed both cheeks down with my hands to stop the corners of my lips from rising.

“You said what you need is a female friend, right?”

His dark, low-saturation red eyes came close right in front of me. Startled, I leaned back slightly and nodded vigorously.

As his straight nose drew closer, it felt like my breath might catch. Worried he might hear my pounding heartbeat, I scooted my hips far back.

Nezar grabbed my arm as if telling me not to move and lightly flicked my forehead with his finger.

“Instead of doing strange things on your own like memorizing men’s names, I’ll introduce you to Ezaret, so spend time with her.”

What? Is he talking about the princess?

Nezar had two half-siblings. Princess Ezaret, born of the current empress, and the youngest prince, Andrew.

Out of all the women, he’s suggesting his own half-sister…

By imperial law, marriages within six degrees of kinship were forbidden in the Kaval Empire. Even if I somehow became close to Ezaret, it would be completely useless for breaking off my engagement.

I quickly lowered my hands and shook my head intensely.

“No! I mean—not that I hate it, but I’m fine.”

“Why? Ezaret is only a year older than you. Unlike you, she’s calm and composed, so you two should get along well.”

“Calm and composed? Don’t opposites usually clash more?”

“That’s only when they’re complete opposites. You and her actually share quite a few similarities. Like putting too much energy into pointless things, or being hard to read sometimes…”

He’s insulting me, right?

When I stayed silent, Nezar pulled me a little closer and spoke in a calm voice.

“I don’t know what brought this sudden change, but the image people have of Katrina Ezelot won’t change that easily. Even I, who’ve known you for seven years, came all the way here wondering what was going on. Imagine how strange it must seem to others.”

“…Then what should I do?”

“If you’re not willing to throw away your pride just to please other girls, then give up cleanly.”

After saying such cold words, Nezar smiled softly, like whipped cream on top of a cake.

That’s harsh. I have a clear goal in needing a female friend—to break off this engagement. Of course, I couldn’t explain the real reason, but to just tell me to give up?

A wave of hurt rose up to my throat. I frowned and pushed his body away.

“Don’t talk like that just because it’s not your problem. And no matter what you say, I’m definitely going to make a female friend. Just not Princess Ezaret!”

It felt like I was getting worked up over something small.

Nezar snorted and reached out, stretching both my cheeks outward. The earlier tense and gloomy atmosphere had completely disappeared, replaced by his usual mischievous expression.

“To think you’d reject an introduction personally offered by His Highness Nezar. You still haven’t come to your senses. I’ll come again tomorrow, so think carefully about your answer by then. And like I said, stop memorizing the names of strange men.”

With that, he stood up and left the reception room, leaving me behind alone. He was probably going to meet Rokhard.

I slowly stood up as well. His words—I’ll come again tomorrow—lingered in my ears like an afterimage.

It felt strangely unsettling. He’s not usually the type to say things like that…

Late that night, I studied etiquette books for tea parties diligently before going to bed.

It had been a while since I’d stared at such dense text, and it made my stomach churn. Deciding I couldn’t take any more, I finally closed the book I had been stubbornly scanning.

“Daisy.”

“Yes, miss.”

Daisy, who had been brushing my hair by the bedside, answered. Her voice, once full of confusion over my sudden change, had grown much gentler over the past few days.

“You know… is it really true that girls become close by talking about men?”

“Well… I suppose it depends on the person. But for maids like us, we usually grow closer through talking about romance or men. It’s the most entertaining topic.”

“Are there even any men in this estate worth talking about…? Who’s so popular?”

I thought I had memorized a lot earlier today, but the only name that remained in my memory was Pansion Entera.

Maybe because I’d never seen his face and only heard his name and reputation, curiosity about him crept in as I lay down to sleep.

After gently smoothing my hair one last time, Daisy set the brush aside and stood up. Her light footsteps moved behind me.

“Most of the talk is about the knights of our house. Since Ezelot is close to the imperial capital, the Imperial Guard comes up often too. Not many of us have actually met them, though. It’s mostly just rumors spreading around.”

That’s why rumors are frightening. The thought of people I don’t even know talking about me wasn’t pleasant.

And it wasn’t entirely someone else’s problem either. I had heard from Rokhard that my bad reputation, even at just fifteen, was already quite widespread outside.

My future looks pretty bleak.

It was hard to even imagine what kinds of rumors were being spread about me. I let out a deep sigh and slipped under the thin summer blanket.

Daisy, having tidied up the vanity, walked back and pulled the blanket up to my chin. I whispered softly to her.

“You know, among the knights you mentioned, I don’t recognize a single one. How am I supposed to hold a conversation if I don’t even know them?”

Daisy looked up at the ceiling as if thinking, then spoke.

“How about asking Young Master Rokhard? Since he’s part of the Imperial Guard, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to visit the training grounds.”

What? I shook my head in horror. Asking Rokhard? I’d rather march straight to the imperial palace alone pretending I’d lost my mind.

“Ask him? You really say anything when it’s someone else’s problem, huh? I’d rather drown myself in a plate of water…”

Daisy chuckled softly, kissed my forehead, and left. The room quickly darkened, and the door closed with a quiet click.

I turned toward the window and clutched my head.

To get close to girls, I need to talk about men. But I don’t know any men. The Imperial Guard is popular among girls. Rokhard is part of the Imperial Guard.

No matter how I thought about it, going to Rokhard was the only option. It felt like an inescapable trap.

“Forget it. I’ll just start with talking about dresses. Or suggest embroidery…”

That’s what I told myself, but when morning came, my legs were already heading toward Rokhard’s room.

From early morning, while the servants busily moved about, I paced back and forth near his room.

I can’t believe I actually came.

I had sworn I would never ask Rokhard for anything until the day I died… but life really is unpredictable.

Knock, knock.

With trembling hands, I knocked on his door. Bowing before a dog would’ve felt less humiliating.

Before long, the door opened, and Rokhard stepped out in full uniform. When our eyes met, he widened his eyes in surprise.

But soon enough, he replaced it with a bright smile—an annoyingly charming one.

“My adorable little troublemaker coming to see me this early in the morning. Did the sun rise in the west today?”

His voice was as greasy as butter rolling around, and it sent goosebumps down my arms.

Of all the faces I’d seen recently, his smile was by far the most unbearable.

I wanted to turn around and leave immediately, but I couldn’t. I hadn’t come here lightly.

After hesitating, I forced myself to speak.

“W-when are you leaving for work today?”

“Right now.”

That’s bad.

I had assumed I’d have at least thirty minutes, so I came in casual indoor clothes without preparing to go out.

Noticing my flustered expression, Rokhard, leaning against the doorframe, tilted his chin up and looked me over suspiciously.

“Is there a problem? If you have something to say, say it quickly, Kate. As I said, I need to head to the imperial palace right now.”

The capital of the Kaval Empire, where the imperial palace was located, was only about three hours away from the Ezelot territory.

However, the Imperial Guard handled many duties both inside and outside the palace, and Rokhard, as one of them, could only return home about once every four days.

Which meant if I didn’t say it now, I wouldn’t see him again for four days.

“Take me to the imperial palace with you.”

In my urgency, the words slipped out without explanation.

But Rokhard, the one being asked, simply straightened up as if it were nothing. He casually rolled his shoulders and grabbed the door handle.

“Sure. I’ll give you ten minutes. Get ready and come downstairs. I won’t wait longer than that, so you’d better hurry.”

…Huh? He agreed that easily?

When I just stood there, frozen, Rokhard grabbed my shoulder and pushed me away.

“Didn’t you hear me? Ten minutes. Go get ready. You’re not planning to go like that, are you?”

“You’re not even going to ask why?”

“I already know well enough without you saying it, so don’t worry. Now… hurry up. Or should I carry you myself?”

He suddenly lifted me by the waist and hoisted me over his shoulder. My view shot up into the air, and my upper body swayed so much I thought the beef soup I had for breakfast might come back up.

I pounded his back with my fist as he strode forward.

Well, at least, I thought I hit him hard. He didn’t seem affected at all.

“Put me down already. I told you to stop treating me like a child!”

“Yesterday you were going on about being a proper lady, and today you’re back to being your usual troublemaker. Was it just a whim?”

“It’s not a whim! I really am going to be more refined, so put me down!”

He laughed, and his shoulder shook along with it. No matter how much I struggled, he kept walking steadily.

Why is he so dedicated to doing exactly what I tell him not to do?

I suppressed my irritation and let out an angry breath. Hearing that, Rokhard laughed again, and only after descending a flight of stairs did he finally set me down in the corridor.

“Nezar has morning duties, so you’ll only see him in the late afternoon. You’ll get bored waiting, so bring that thick etiquette book you were reading yesterday. Even strolling through the garden gets dull after ten minutes.”

Nezar?

I opened my door and looked up at Rokhard with a strange expression.

“I’m not going to see Nezar.”

At my words, Rokhard’s expression twisted as well.

“You’re not? Then why are you coming with me?”