Chapter 10
At my answer, he let out a soft chuckle and took my hand.
He could have held it tighter. Thinking that, I placed my hand on your shoulder—truly for the first time in a long while.
Feeling the hand wrapped around my waist, this moment of standing so close to him felt like a dream.
He had never liked banquets, and in the past I hadn’t enjoyed them either. Yet those memories felt meaningless now, and I found myself grateful for the music flowing through the hall.
That Kardin stood before me, and that I was held in the arms I had so dearly missed—how overwhelming that was.
I felt so happy that even if I were to meet death for this man right now, I could still thank my unmerciful god for it. I was simply happy. Truly.
“Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
I tilted my head slightly.
What kind of 모습—what kind of woman—was reflected in Kardin’s eyes right now?
Did I look like a foolish woman smiling? No… I wasn’t the only one looking at him tonight.
“Ahem. Do you always look at others with those eyes as well?”
At my silence, he asked again.
Like the slow music drifting through the hall, I slowly shook my head and spoke.
“I don’t know what my eyes look like to you right now, Your Grace…”
“……”
“But I’m certain that when I look at others, these are not the eyes I have.”
When he narrowed his brow out of habit, the corners of my lips curled upward.
“Your Grace.”
“Yes, speak.”
“How do I look, reflected in your eyes?”
Kardin slowly closed his eyes once, then opened them and spoke.
“I’m not sure what you intend by asking me that.”
“I was just wondering how I look now compared to when you saw me in the garden earlier.”
“……The same.”
At your answer, I gave a weak smile.
When I had gone back to my room after seeing you in the garden and looked into the mirror, I had felt such regret.
“…I see.”
With that lingering disappointment, the music came to an end.
And our meeting, too, came to an end.
As I released the hand we had been holding, I offered you my final farewell.
“Grand Duke Ferdian, thank you for being my first dance partner. And… I was truly, very happy to meet you. May God’s grace fully reach you.”
This time, I was the one who turned away first. Pressing my lips together, I slowly left the banquet hall.
Passing through the quiet corridor, I headed not to my room, but to the garden.
Even when I bit my lip, tears kept falling, and I let out a small, incredulous laugh.
Still, I thanked my god for letting me see him, even if only like this.
When I stepped outside, a sudden gust of wind made me close my eyes tightly.
Why did today feel so short? So regretfully short. It was a day that made me wish tomorrow would never come.
Opening my eyes, I walked through the neatly kept garden and sat down on a gently swaying chair.
Being here made it feel as though it were just moments ago—the unforgettable instant in this lifetime when we first exchanged greetings.
It kept replaying in my mind.
‘…It’s a pleasure to meet you. I am the saintess, Shallen Melissa.’
‘Kardin Lord Ferdian.’
You must have thought I was a strange woman.
A woman who cried upon seeing you.
Heh.
“What could I do? I missed you.”
As the words slipped out, tears streamed down my cheeks.
Leaning back in the swaying chair, I looked up at the sky.
The stars and the moon glittering in the dark night sky were so beautiful—more than on any other night.
They only made me miss you more, mercilessly, without regard for timing.
When the wind blew, my tear-streaked face felt faintly cold.
Thinking that today might be the last time I would ever see you, not only my face but even my chest felt chilled and aching.
Looking at that sky that resembled you, I reflected.
Meeting you, I had unknowingly been far too greedy.
When I thought of what I wanted most,
my greatest wish was his peace.
So let my greed end here. From now on, let me stop.
I am someone who has already lost all divine power, a saintess whose husband met death again and again simply for being mine.
So I must not yearn for him anymore, must not wish to see him, must not love him any longer.
Standing in the center of the hall, Kardin quietly gazed at the doors of the banquet hall.
She was an incomprehensible woman.
A woman he had met for the first time today—who looked at him with an unreadable expression, asked him to dance first, then offered her greetings and left the hall the moment the music ended.
Shallen Melissa—the newly proclaimed saintess of the Melissa Temple.
Kardin rubbed his raised brow and began walking toward the door she had exited through.
Simply by showing his face at this banquet, he had fulfilled his promise to the king. There was no need for him to remain any longer.
As the sound of music faded, the quiet corridor gradually filled with the sound of Kardin’s footsteps.
On his way to his room, his gaze drifted, almost unconsciously, toward the garden where he had first met her.
It was her.
She hadn’t seemed particularly shy. So why had she fled the banquet hall as if escaping, and come here?
Just as he was wondering, the moon—previously hidden by clouds—slowly revealed itself, and her face became clearly visible.
She was crying. Why?
Without realizing it, Kardin stopped and silently looked down at her, making no sound.
Was it consideration for a sorrowfully weeping woman? Or merely a habit ingrained in his body?
Who knew.
One thing was certain—there was no pity in his eyes.
Perhaps that was only natural.
She was a woman he had just met, someone he knew only as the saintess of the Melissa Temple.
He had neither the time nor the need to know her circumstances.
Both before and after becoming a grand duke, countless people had approached him with their intentions laid bare—
pretending to stumble before him, boldly striking up conversations, making it obvious they wanted to dance.
There had been countless such women. And he knew what followed after a single dance.
Rumors would spread. Talk of an engagement. Speculation over who would become the vacant grand duchess.
Knowing all too well how people would speculate and gossip, he had always avoided banquets.
So today, he had acted unlike himself. Was it because of the sense of security the title “saintess” provided?
Then why was he stopping now? That question arose within him.
Just as he was about to avert his gaze and resume walking, Kardin’s brow furrowed deeply.
Saintess Shallen, unaware that anyone was watching her, clenched the handkerchief in her hand and let the tears running down her cheeks fall freely.
It was a pitiful sight—yet strangely, the word “pitiful” didn’t seem to suit her. That was what Kardin thought.
When he heard footsteps from the opposite end of the corridor, he withdrew his gaze from the woman in the garden and turned away.
Not long after, just as Shallen was about to rise from her seat, calming her heart while staring at the neatly folded handkerchief, his scent reached her.
“Kardin…”
Without realizing it, she spoke his name and then belatedly lifted her head.
Kardin raised one eyebrow and looked down at her widened eyes.
He met Shallen’s gaze as she looked at him with reddened eyes.
“Ah… Grand Duke Ferdian.”
Shallen looked flustered, realizing she had carelessly spoken his name.
If he were to ask why she had called him that, what should she say?
As she searched for an excuse, he spoke—words she hadn’t expected.
“Have you been crying again?”
Shallen hesitated briefly, then forced a smile and shook her head.
Kardin’s eyebrow twitched as he looked at her lie, but he didn’t press the issue.
“Why are you here, Your Grace…? Is the banquet already over?”
Of course, she knew that couldn’t be the case. She was just pretending to be unaffected.
“The banquet is in full swing. I stepped out to get some night air. Why are you here, Saintess?”
“Me too. The night sky is beautiful.”
A brief silence followed.
