Chapter 08
Between your presence and your absence.
I waited for you on that boundary.
Ever since the moment you left.
And now, the you I had waited for exists in this world, standing right in front of me.
The name I had only ever spoken in my heart—you spoke it aloud to me.
You looked younger than when we first met, but the feeling you carried was exactly the same.
The scent I had missed so dearly lingered at the tip of my nose.
A scent like a winter forest.
The northern scent—wintery, yet warm.
I had thought countless times about what expression I should wear if we ever met again.
The conclusion was always the same.
Ridiculously, I wanted to look pretty in front of you.
“Ha… I shouldn’t be crying.”
Even as tears fell, the fact that you were standing before me made me smile again and again.
Kardin frowned slightly and leaned forward.
“Saintess, is something wrong?”
I pressed my lips together and shook my head, holding back the words, It’s just because it’s you.
When Kardin tried to step back, I unconsciously grabbed his arm.
Surprised by my action, he looked at me and spoke again.
“Is it because you’re afraid of me?”
“No. Not at all. I’m not afraid. Not even a little.”
How could I ever be afraid of you?
To me, you were someone so foolishly responsible it was almost painful to watch.
“Then why are you doing this?”
The moment I opened my mouth, tears streamed down my cheeks again.
“Because I missed you… Grand Duke Ferdian.”
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because no matter how much I look at you, I want to keep looking.”
Unable to wipe away my tears, I smiled and spoke the words that spilled out of me.
“You’re treating me like someone you haven’t seen in a very long time. But I have no connection to the Melissa Temple.”
He was right.
To him, this was our first meeting.
When I didn’t answer, he continued.
“I haven’t even been Grand Duke for long, yet you already know who I am.”
Of course.
For both of us, this was that kind of time.
“You’re famous for being handsome. And for being an admirable person.”
Perhaps I wanted to say I was proud of him.
That you, too, had once been this young.
“What exactly is admirable?”
“That you protect a warm North.”
“A warm North…”
He mulled over my words, then let out a small laugh.
“You look nice when you smile.”
I liked his smile.
“What are you saying all of a sudden…?”
He looked flustered, touching his lips awkwardly.
For some reason, seeing you flustered made me happy, and my smile refused to fade.
“I didn’t mean to make you smile. But I’m glad you did.”
“So… you truly believe the North is warm?”
“Yes. I truly do. And I truly mean it when I say you’re handsome.”
“Cough.”
Unable to remove my hand from his arm, he turned his head and cleared his throat.
Only then did I release him.
Smiling brightly, I held out my hand.
Kardin stared at it for a moment before taking it with his large hand.
Rough with calluses, his hand felt like it completely swallowed mine.
When he frowned out of habit, I unconsciously pressed my finger against his brow.
You always furrow your brow.
Is that why you press it with your finger?
Something like that. Don’t scowl—everyone thinks you’re scary.
Both of us froze in surprise.
After exchanging only a few words, my body had repeated an action from the past without thinking.
I quickly pulled my hand away.
“Ah—sorry.”
He rubbed his brow and asked,
“And what was that just now?”
“A habit, I suppose. I was rude.”
“……”
“I’m sorry, again.”
“It’s fine.”
I lowered my gaze to our still-clasped hands, then gently closed my eyes.
And for the first time, I bestowed a blessing upon him.
In my past three lives, I never had divine power to give him.
Perhaps that regret had built up—
the divine power I poured into him now was on an entirely different level.
Feeling it surge, he suddenly grabbed my wrist.
“What are you doing?”
Raising one eyebrow, he tilted his head as I answered,
“A blessing.”
“Why would you give that to me?”
So that your winter won’t be cold in this life.
So that flowers may bloom in your winter, at least this once.
Suppressing those thoughts, I smiled brightly.
“Consider it repayment for lending me your handkerchief.”
“Is a mere handkerchief really worth a blessing? Or do you usually give them so easily?”
He looked genuinely curious.
Because I knew he wasn’t someone who asked lightly, I answered him honestly.
“Yes. It was my first time receiving one. And since I’m the daughter of an unmerciful god, you’re only the second person I’ve blessed.”
“……”
“Ah, the handkerchief—I’ll return it later…”
The word later made me stop short.
Would I even be allowed to see you again?
This life shouldn’t be tangled with mine.
“If there is a later, return it then.”
With that, he slowly released my hand.
I tucked away my regret and nodded.
“…It was nice meeting you, Grand Duke Ferdian.”
With those words, our meeting ended.
I stood still, watching your retreating figure until it disappeared from sight.
“It was good to see you. So selfishly good.”
My grip tightened around the handkerchief he left behind.
Even as I returned to my room, Kardin’s image lingered.
You—looking younger, just like me, who had turned back time.
No matter what, you’re still someone I want to keep looking at.
I really… truly…
“Saintess!”
At the voice calling me, I looked up to see Amy running toward me.
“Saintess! Where did you go?! I’ve been looking everywhere!”
“I’m sorry. I went for a short walk. I made you worry.”
“Huh? Saintess?! Why are your eyes so red? Did something happen?”
I shook my head and smiled faintly.
“It must be the cold air.”
“Oh dear—then we need to redo your makeup! The banquet is starting soon!”
Amy grabbed my hand and hurried ahead.
When I sat at the vanity and looked in the mirror, my makeup was mostly gone.
To think you saw me like that.
How foolish—why do I feel regret now?
“Amy.”
“Yes, Saintess!”
“Can you make me even prettier than before?”
Amy burst into laughter.
“Our Saintess is beautiful no matter what! But I’ll do my very best!”
“Thank you.”
Just in case.
If we meet again, I want to look beautiful.
Allowing myself one selfish wish.
As she finished, there was a knock at the door.
Knock. Knock.
“Saintess.”
“Yes. Come in.”
The palace maid who had guided me earlier entered.
“Saintess, the banquet has begun. I’ve come to escort you.”
I stood up and gently patted Amy’s head.
“I see. Shall we go?”
“Yes. Please follow me.”
I nodded, then smiled softly at Amy.
Though she didn’t know why, she clenched her fist and nodded firmly.
“I’ll be back.”
“Yes!”
Following my escort, I walked toward the banquet hall.
Judging by the quiet corridor, the nobles of the Helen Kingdom had already entered.
As I approached the hall, the doorman stared at me with wide eyes.
I smiled gently and bowed politely.
“I’m ready.”
“Ah—! Yes!”
Swallowing nervously, he announced my entrance loudly enough for everyone inside to hear.
“Saintess Shallen Melissa of the Melissa Temple, entering!”
