Chapter 63
“Do you even realize what you’re saying right now?”
Elysia let out a hollow laugh.
As if he were talking utter nonsense.
When he had insisted on staying behind out of concern for her, she could understand—at least a little.
She thought that was just Eden being kind.
But what he just said now—this was something she absolutely could not comprehend.
“Yes.”
Eden replied, stepping back with his right foot.
“How could I leave when you’re here, Elysia?”
“What does that have to do with me…?”
What does that have to do with me?
It wasn’t meant to sound heartless.
Elysia truly didn’t believe her presence had anything to do with whether Eden escaped or not.
Anyone—absolutely anyone—would agree with her on that point.
If Eden had mentioned Ariel instead, Elysia might have understood.
But this? She couldn’t.
“Why won’t you listen…?”
In the end, Elysia yanked her hand from Eden’s grip.
All the stress she had been holding back seemed to hit her at once.
A wave of fatigue crashed over her, and she dragged a hand down her face.
The more Eden acted like this, the more everything she had done for him felt like violence.
The more he resisted, the more it felt like Pi was right, and she was wrong.
She didn’t want to regret it.
If nothing else, she wanted to believe that the kindness she’d shown Eden wasn’t misplaced.
“…Eden. Please don’t make things harder for me.”
Veins popped out along the back of her hand.
“Go. Follow the person behind me.”
“N-No.”
Eden didn’t even glance at Pi as he answered.
He had never given her or any of Elysia’s companions a shred of attention since meeting Elysia.
Feeling ignored, Pi’s lips twisted.
“Do you think staying here means anything other than more torture?! Don’t make me repeat myself!”
Elysia’s voice grew harsher by the second.
“N-No, I’m not going. I’ll stay. If you’re not leaving… then I’ll stay too.”
I can endure it.
I’ve endured it until now.
Fidgeting with the now-empty space where her hand had been, Eden spoke quietly.
He was saying he could bear it.
And that was the last thing Elysia wanted to hear.
In that moment, she lost the grip she’d barely managed to hold on her sanity.
“You can endure it?”
Her bloodshot eyes bore into him.
“When did I ever tell you to endure it?”
“A…”
“Was it my father, then? Or maybe the knight who left my head in this condition?”
Eden swallowed hard.
“You’re unbelievable.”
Elysia scoffed loudly, as if trying to guilt him.
“You never listen to me.”
Why do you only listen to the people I hate?
Her cold eyes settled on Eden, who was sweating profusely.
There was no emotion left in her gaze.
She had let go of the feelings she had for him—along with her reason.
Only then did Eden realize, to his bones, what he had lost through his actions.
“You really are selfish.”
You say you’re sorry for being selfish, but you never do what I ask. You won’t do what I beg.
“You act like it’s for me, but it’s really all about you.”
Ah. Who was she talking to now?
Even as she berated Eden, Elysia felt confused.
Her own words sounded like she was scolding herself. Like her own conscience was furious with her—pretending to care about Ariel, pretending to protect Eden, when in truth, it was all for her own sake.
“I didn’t mean it like that…”
“Didn’t you?”
Elysia cut him off.
“Of course you did.”
“No… I really, really didn’t…”
Tears welled in Eden’s eyes again.
When he cried, Elysia’s heart always softened.
The reason she had abandoned tried to claw its way back.
“I just… I just wanted to be with you. I didn’t think I could ask for anything more…”
That was all I held on to.
Tears like pearls fell from his eyes.
If he could just be with Elysia, he could endure all the unfairness and cruelty in the world.
That’s what he was saying.
His eyes were so clear, so pure.
“See? That’s what I mean—it’s all about what you want.”
Elysia bent slightly at the waist to meet the eyes of the boy a head shorter than her.
“Then what about me?”
“…What?”
“What do I get out of it?”
Eden couldn’t answer that selfish, profit-seeking question.
“I’ve only ever lost by being around you.”
Elysia tapped her damaged hair with a finger.
Not even five minutes had passed since she said it was okay—and here she was, showing the opposite.
Eden acted like it was all his fault her hair ended up that way.
That small gesture alone was enough to rattle him inside.
“Wasted time, wasted energy.”
“A… I, I…”
“I thought maybe you’d be helpful, so I treated you well, but in the end…”
She straightened and ran her fingers roughly through the back of her head.
Pi thought both of them looked like they were about to cry.
“I’ll ask plainly, Eden.”
I’m being discarded.
When he saw the empty red eyes looking down at him, Eden knew.
Elysia was trying to abandon him.
In desperation, he reached for her.
Elysia glanced at his hand—then coldly swatted it away.
“What do I gain from having you by my side?”
Eden stared blankly at his rejected hand, then slowly turned to her.
Elysia’s eyes were still cold.
He had seen that look before.
From Duke Partin—her father.
It was the same gaze.
But at least the duke had expectations of him.
Elysia had none.
She didn’t see him—not even when he stood right in front of her.
That broke him.
Elysia’s lips parted again.
Eden was terrified of what she’d say next—because it would be the words of rejection.
Realizing that, he quickly covered his ears.
And pleaded in a broken voice.
“Please… don’t throw me away…”
He didn’t want to hear it.
He didn’t want confirmation from Elysia of just how worthless he was.
“I’ll do everything you say. I won’t whine. I won’t come find you, even if I miss you. I’ll just wait.”
Even while sobbing, Eden forced the words out.
“So please, please…”
His tears fell faster now—large enough for Elysia to clearly see.
She wanted to cry too.
She wanted to dissolve into tears with him, to find comfort in their shared pain.
She wanted to apologize.
Because the one who should be asking for forgiveness wasn’t Eden—it was her.
But she didn’t.
She couldn’t.
Even apologizing to him would be an act of selfishness, a way to lighten her own guilt.
So she decided to stay cruel to the very end.
“I don’t need you. You.”
Because Eden would forgive her for everything anyway—even the sins she had committed against him.
***
After Elysia’s final words, Eden stopped moving entirely.
That should be enough.
Even Elysia couldn’t endure more than this.
“Take him. Even if you have to drag him.”
She whispered as she passed Pi.
Just quiet enough that Eden wouldn’t hear.
“Dumps all the dirty work on me.”
Pi muttered in return.
“What about that knight?”
Shouldn’t we erase her memory too?
She gestured toward Lisbeth with a jerk of her chin.
“Lisbeth…”
Maybe it would be better for her to forget all this too.
“I’m fine.”
Lisbeth interrupted before Elysia could answer.
“And who said you had a choice?”
She spoke in a tone that implied Lisbeth had no say in the matter.
But both Lisbeth and Elysia knew exactly what Pi meant.
“Miss Elysia.”
Lisbeth, who had been standing watch, now approached Elysia.
As she got closer, Elysia had to lift her chin to meet her eyes.
“Others might forget, but if I forget… it would be…”
Irresponsible.
Lisbeth spoke in her usual calm tone, but with the weight of a burden she was choosing to carry.
“If you’re going to carry it, then I will too.”
“…Carry what?”
Elysia played dumb.
“I’m thinking of starting with becoming the Partin Duchy’s Knight Commander… how long can you wait?”
Lisbeth asked with a warm smile.
“You’re going to be commander?”
Which meant she intended to oust Dale.
“You said you wanted to kill the duke, didn’t you?”
Then Dale, the man who guarded him like a fortress, would be the greatest obstacle.
This was Lisbeth’s way of repaying the kindness she received from Elysia.
Elysia’s eyes widened at the sound logic.
“I never aimed to be a great knight, but since it’s come to this, I’ll give it my best.”
I’ve got talent, you know.
She had always had more than enough ability—just never a reason to use it.
So maybe it was possible.
Lisbeth laid out her hidden potential with ease.
“Seriously… everyone does what they want.”
Pi grumbled again.
Still, she took Lisbeth’s hand.
“The more memories you have to erase, the bigger the disconnect.”
Pi had felt it too—back when she was Elysia.
Because she’d spent nearly every day watching Eden, the holes left by erased memories were gaping.
“Speaking from experience.”
As Elysia glanced at her, Pi stepped into the prison.
When she was no longer in sight, Elysia lowered her gaze and fell deep in thought.
Then, after a moment, she nodded.
“I can take that to mean you want to be my knight?”
“I was too shy to say it directly. Thank you for saying it for me.”
Lisbeth dropped to one knee and accepted her words.
From now on, she would be Elysia’s tool. Used as needed, discarded when not.
She glanced once at the prison.
If a day came when she, like Eden, was abandoned—
She would believe it was Elysia’s kindness allowing her to go.
And Lisbeth dared to accept that.
