Chapter 40
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Allen snapped irritably at Roni. The smell of alcohol clung heavily to him as well.
Was it the liquor that gave him courage too? His emotions, raw and unrestrained, were plain to see on his face.
Her favorite person showing irritation—such a new side of him—it was fresh, but Roni soon felt herself bristle at his sharp tone and shoved him hard.
“There you go again with that formal speech! You’re really such a petty little man.”
Roni scowled and pointed a finger at him. Allen let out a short, incredulous laugh and stepped closer.
His eyes were icy cold. Ugh, she hated that look. Roni grimaced, and Allen spoke.
“Then why is it that every time I try to get closer, you push me away, and every time I pull back, you try to hold on?”
“I never did that.”
“Stop playing both sides. Don’t confuse me.”
Allen raked his hair back with a sharp motion. The alcohol Roni had forced on him had already taken its toll, making his voice harsher than usual. But she was far more drunk than he was.
Courage brimming, she grabbed him by the collar, stood on her toes, and pressed her face close.
“And you—why do you keep making me worry? Skipping meals, driving yourself to death—what, you want me to worry myself sick?”
“What?”
Her sudden outburst made his eyes tremble violently. He hadn’t expected to learn that she cared so deeply.
Roni went on.
“Do you even know what kind of feelings I have, going through all this because of you…?”
“…And what kind of feelings are those?”
Allen gently pried her hand from his collar as he asked, his voice now softer, almost sweet. Had she been sober, she might have confessed everything right then.
But in her drunken state, she could only babble whatever came to mind.
“I know pink doesn’t look good on me, okay….”
Out of nowhere, she switched the subject to clothes. Then she leaned back against the railing again.
Allen quickly pulled her away from danger, holding her by the shoulders.
“Don’t dodge the question. Tell me straight. What’s in your heart?”
“…My heart?”
“Yes. Your heart. I don’t care if it’s just drunk talk—I want to know, so tell me honestly.”
He lowered himself to her eye level, serious. Dizzy and half-collapsing against him, Roni began to speak.
“The truth is… I like you.”
“…What?”
Allen blinked at her, stunned. Roni swallowed back the nausea in her throat and repeated clearly,
“The truth is, I like pink! But people keep saying it doesn’t suit me, and it really hurts.”
The wild storm in Allen’s eyes stilled. He ducked his head, muttering under his breath.
“Ha… you really do nothing but turn me upside down.”
“What are you saying?”
Roni pouted, claiming she couldn’t hear, though it was clear she wasn’t listening. Allen rubbed at his burning ears with a grimace.
Her drunken honesty was overwhelming.
Roni rambled on.
“I want to be delicate and pure like Biana too. It’s not like I chose to look like this. I’m so jealous of the heroine buff.”
“What are you even saying—heroine?”
Allen lifted his head in confusion. Meanwhile, Roni felt the world spinning again, the dizziness swaying her body as though he were shaking her.
‘Stop shaking me… I’m already so dizzy….’
When her knees buckled, Allen quickly swept her up and laid her down on the bed.
Her body flushed hot against the sheets. She fiddled with her clothes as if to loosen them and muttered,
“It’s hot…”
“God, you really are…”
Allen rubbed his face roughly, torn about what to do. His expression was deeply conflicted.
Truthfully, he was near his own limit. The alcohol weighed heavy on him, and he wondered if it might be better to wait until they were both sober to ask what he needed to know.
If he stayed with her like this any longer, he feared he would give up every restraint he had been holding back.
Her uninhibited, reckless drunkenness demanded all of his self-control. Staying here meant being swept away and giving in to temptation.
“Just sleep, Roni.”
Clinging to the last threads of his rationality, he pulled the blanket over her and moved toward the door.
But then, Roni kicked the blanket aside, sat up, and muttered something startling.
“…I’m not Roni!”
Allen froze mid-step and spun around. His face betrayed his shock—had he really heard that?
Roni only giggled foolishly, as if she herself didn’t know what she’d just said.
“What do you mean, you’re not Roni?”
Allen stepped closer. Roni, still hazy with drink, mumbled incoherently.
“Do you know how much I adored you? And this is how you treat your big sister?”
“Don’t dodge—say it straight.”
His voice was firm. Could this be related to the strange feelings of inconsistency he had been having about her?
“It would’ve been better if I were Biana….”
Allen’s face twisted with even more confusion. Again, she spoke of Biana.
“Why are you so obsessed with her? What is she to you?”
He was frustrated. She kept skirting the answers he wanted. He longed to know the truth, and why she fixated so much on Biana.
Roni replied as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“Biana’s the heroine. I’m just the side character.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Speak clearly.”
“So that means your match isn’t me.”
She pushed him away and collapsed limply back onto the bed, staring at him from an awkward half-sitting, half-lying posture.
Even though she knew she should stop, the bottled-up bitterness kept spilling out.
“You’re so cruel.”
“…Hah. Who’s really saying what they want right now….”
Allen grimaced, realizing she was far too drunk to answer properly. He sighed softly.
As he turned to leave again, Roni suddenly grabbed his tie and yanked him back toward her.
Startled, Allen braced both hands on the bed to keep some distance. But Roni pulled harder, narrowing the space between them.
“Do you know how suffocating this is?”
“What are you—”
Allen’s words stopped short. He suddenly recalled the moment he’d once nearly kissed her, only to pull back at the last second. Back then, it was he who had dragged her close, flustering her.
Now it was Roni doing the same—pulling him face-to-face.
“Who are you trying to seduce by doing this all the time?”
“…That’s my line.”
Allen looked at her with a troubled expression. Their faces were dangerously close, the smell of whiskey between them. His ears burned bright red.
Part of him wanted desperately to seize this chance, to steal the kiss he hadn’t taken before. But he forced himself to hold back.
Roni, oblivious to his inner struggle, tugged on the tie even harder.
“W-wait—!”
Before he could finish, she lost her balance and collapsed forward—straight into him.
Her lips brushed against his.
It all happened in an instant. Allen froze stiff, unable to react.
The first contact of their lips trembled faintly. Roni, not realizing what she had done, shifted uncomfortably as if something was in her way.
But Allen, still trapped by her grip on his tie, knew exactly what it was—her lips pressed against his. His face flushed a deep crimson.
In that fleeting accident, all the emotions he had been suppressing burst uncontrollably to the surface.
His heart pounded violently as he shut his eyes tight.
