#17.
“You don’t even know what I want to do.”
I muttered bitterly in response to Gale’s words, which were spoken without knowing anything about my circumstances.
Yeah, I just want to live the way I want to.
But too many people’s lives depend on mine, so I can’t think only about myself.
I’m not Ronnie. I’m just an ordinary assistant living on Earth. I don’t have magic powers that go ta-da! like Guinness.
Every step I take might bring unexpected consequences. I’m walking through uncertain times, never knowing what my actions will lead to.
I flinched, as if Gale had somehow caught on to my earlier shaken feelings when I’d wanted to do things my own way after talking to Allen.
That’s when Gale said,
“You always seem to live only by looking at others.”
‘Well, maybe that’s true. After all, it was because I cared about others that I ended up here in the first place.’
A strange sadness crept in. Even back on Earth, I’d heard similar things from people.
I was always the first to feel someone else’s pain and empathize. I never hesitated to offer kindness to others.
I thought it was just the right thing to do as a human being. I believed everyone should recognize what they had and share it with others.
Some people, like Gale, thought I was foolish for that.
In a world where everyone’s busy trying to assert themselves, why go out of your way to suffer? What are you even getting out of it?
But I only smiled at those questions. Because before I met my benefactor, I used to think the same way.
When I was young, someone’s act of kindness gave me the chance to start a new life.
Unfortunately, I don’t know my benefactor’s face. They only helped me from behind the scenes, rescuing me from abuse.
And that small gesture changed my life and made me who I am today.
I never tried to find them afterward. I figured they had a reason for staying anonymous.
Instead, I believed I should live my life in a way that repaid their kindness.
That’s why I’ve always offered unconditional kindness to others.
‘Because that’s the standard I’ve chosen to live by.’
To me, that was affection—love for humanity.
Not just romantic love between men and women.
But even with that as my standard, the current situation is a dilemma.
I don’t want to cause anyone here pain, yet whatever I do, someone will be hurt. It’s an impossible situation.
“I don’t know why you suddenly got so scared, but I wish you’d think only about yourself for once,” Gale said.
Can I really do that—just think about myself?
His words, a little selfish-sounding, echoed in my mind.
As Kim Sohee, it didn’t align with my values, but I couldn’t dismiss them entirely.
Then Gale took a step closer and added,
“If that’s too hard, then try thinking about how to be happy together instead.”
“……!”
Be happy together?
I stared at Gale like I’d been struck.
I’d once been saved by someone else and vowed to live for others because of it.
But was that really the only right path?
Hadn’t I also once been the kind of person someone wanted to save?
Suddenly, it felt like a block inside my heart had been lifted.
I hadn’t realized it before—that this standard of “love” should include not just others, but my own life as well.
That without loving myself, any love I gave others would always be incomplete.
Even if Gale said it harshly, he was speaking out of care for me.
Maybe I’d been living like some kind of saint, obsessed with only offering kindness.
Maybe… I was allowed to pursue a little happiness for myself too.
I thought of my benefactor again.
They must have saved me hoping I’d live happily.
But I kept thinking that if I just sacrificed myself, everyone else would be happy—leading myself down a path of unhappiness.
As my mind cleared, I let out a deep sigh.
Seeing me like that, Gale grew anxious.
I stepped closer to him, gently patted his head, and smiled.
“I thought you were just a kid, but you really worried about me and showed some depth. Sorry. I’ve been a little sensitive lately.”
Seeing my softened expression, Gale looked relieved. Puffing out his chest proudly, he said,
“You treat me like I’m still a kid, but I’m already fifteen, you know!”
* * *
Ronnie’s belief that peaceful days would continue was short-lived.
The very next day, she found herself in a situation where she had no choice but to use her access pass.
“Lady Ronnie, the painting you submitted has gone missing. Do you have any idea what might have happened?”
Professor Leana handed her a note as she spoke. Her face showed visible concern.
The painting had vanished even before evaluations began, and now the professor didn’t know how to handle the situation—especially because the missing piece was from the Lady of Shalligan.
She’d definitely received the painting and placed it in the assigned area.
And yet, only that painting had completely disappeared.
The note left behind simply read: “If you want to find your painting, come to the Magic School.”
Magic school?
Professor Leana recalled a recent rumor.
There had been talk that Shalligan’s heir had come to the magic school and threatened the headmaster to get an access pass.
Among the faculty, the rumor had caused a stir.
Some were outraged over the abuse of power, while others defended it, saying it had brought the school Shalligan’s patronage.
Leana had kept quiet in that debate.
The Lady she knew had shown no interest in anything but painting, so she’d assumed it was just gossip.
But now, with this morning’s disappearance and the note mentioning the magic school…
She began to wonder if the rumors were true, and a wave of disappointment washed over her.
‘I thought she was a young lady genuinely serious about her art… but magic school? Maybe she’s just another typical noble after all.’
Her gaze toward Ronnie grew suspicious.
Ronnie read the note and frowned—because she immediately knew who had taken it.
“If you want to find your painting, come to the Magic School.”
‘Oh, Allen… seriously.’
She sighed inwardly, muttering his name.
You’re not a child. Are you really doing this just to get attention?
Even though she’d treated Allen well and softened the original plotline a bit, he still had that twisted personality from the Romanyte family.
It felt like he was getting revenge for her proposal to break off their engagement.
Or maybe it was better to say he was rebelling against being pushed away by her.
‘If you like someone, shouldn’t you try to be nice to them…?’
Ronnie sighed, realizing there was a lot Allen still had to learn.
If he acted this way toward someone like Bienna, it would get him nowhere—she liked kind and gentle people.
Being around him so much, she’d almost forgotten:
Allen believed that even tormenting someone was an expression of affection.
“I’m sorry, Professor. I’ll retrieve it by tomorrow.”
“…Are you apologizing right now?”
“Yes? Oh, yes. I have a good idea who took it.
I’m truly sorry for troubling you and wasting your valuable time, Professor.”
Leana blinked in surprise at Ronnie’s second, sincere apology.
The Shalligan family was powerful enough that she could have blamed the staff and evaded responsibility.
She had that kind of authority.
If the rumors were true, Ronnie Shalligan was no different from other nobles.
But here she was, apologizing and taking responsibility for something she hadn’t even done.
As Ronnie walked away, Professor Leana’s eyes lit up with curiosity.
The young Lady was full of contradictions.
And now Leana was growing more and more curious to know who the real Ronnie Shalligan was.
‘I might’ve judged her too quickly… I should observe her a bit more.’
With a small sigh of regret, she returned to her work.
* * *
Ronnie recalled Allen’s smug face as he confidently said she’d have no choice but to use her access pass.
So this was how he planned to force her hand.
She quickly returned to the mansion and pulled a pendant from her drawer.
Bibi, surprised by Ronnie’s early return, greeted her.
“You’re back early today, milady?”
“Oh, I just came to grab this.”
Ronnie smiled at her.
Bibi had cautiously approached, but relaxed upon seeing Ronnie’s kind expression.
She’d been worried lately—Ronnie’s mood had seemed off.
But since yesterday, things appeared to have improved.
The emotional distance Bibi had been feeling had eased, so she decided to speak a bit more.
