#15.
I never expected Ian to follow me, so I accepted the glass he offered in a daze.
“Do you think… we fought?”
Well. I wasn’t sure whether to call it a fight or just me pushing him away one-sidedly.
Ian answered my question.
“I’ve never seen Allen make a face like that before.”
“What kind of face was it?”
He must be talking about what happened after I ran away.
‘I’m curious too. How did Allen react to my pathetic meltdown?’
I suddenly felt gloomy, worried that Allen might have reacted badly. For some reason, it was so hard to think objectively when it came to him.
Though I was Kim Sohee, I’d lived as Ronie Sharligan for five years. So the feelings I had when I liked Allen as a reader and my feelings now were a bit different.
I was terrified that he might hate me. Was this what it would feel like if your favorite celebrity suddenly became your childhood friend?
Even though my heart was in turmoil, the fact that my circumstances forced me to do things that would only make him hate me—it was a little painful.
Ian rubbed his chin and began cautiously.
“Well… it’s kind of hard to put into words.”
Ian had unconsciously followed Ronie Sharligan, and he quickly regretted it. Unintentionally, he’d ended up tailing his friend’s fiancée all the way to the terrace.
But Allen’s reaction had been so amusing that he couldn’t help but become curious about her.
The moonlight gently lit up the terrace. The cool early summer breeze made the atmosphere refreshing.
Because of it, Ian’s gaze naturally fell on Ronie’s swaying black hair. Her dark hair shimmered in the moonlight. It went so well with the night scene that he found himself staring for a moment.
When Ian just kept skirting around the topic without telling her directly, Ronie frowned and said,
“Are you just going to leave me hanging now that I’m curious?”
“Haha.”
At her pressing, Ian quietly recalled what had happened earlier. When Ronie, flustered, had run off with his sister, Ian had been so intrigued by Allen’s rare display of emotion that he had stared at him closely.
Allen had pretended to be calm, but the corners of his mouth twitched slightly, and his lips—tightly shut as if trying to hide his smile—quivered.
He rarely smiled, so seeing that expression on his face was a novelty. Most telling of all, his ears had turned a little red. No, they were definitely red.
That stone-faced, gruff guy had actually been embarrassed.
And despite his earlier cold response, it seemed to be just a façade—Allen had gazed at Ronie as she walked away, as if she were so lovely he couldn’t bear it.
‘If I told her that, Allen might actually kill me.’
Ignoring Ronie’s curious expression, Ian quickly changed the subject.
“Anyway, how was the party?”
Ian Bernique…
I started fuming the moment I got into the carriage, repeating Ian’s name over and over in my head. In the end, I hadn’t been able to hear what kind of face Allen had made.
He’d looked like he was having a grand time watching the whole thing, smiling like he was enjoying the show, and I’d wanted to punch him right in the gut for it.
Normally, I could’ve just asked Allen directly, but things had been awkward between us lately. I didn’t even know when I’d get to see him again, which made Ian even more annoying.
I hadn’t planned on playing matchmaker between him and Viena, but now I was absolutely never doing it.
Just as I was about to tell the coachman to depart, the door suddenly swung open, and Allen got in.
“What the—?”
Didn’t he already leave?
Before I could even register my surprise, he sat down directly across from me. Unlike earlier, when he hadn’t even looked at me, now he stared at me in silence.
I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Was he angry, happy, pleased, sad, upset? His emotions were definitely complicated.
‘…Could you say something? Anything? I’m kind of freaking out here.’
Just as I was about to break the silence, Allen quietly asked,
“Did you miss me?”
There was no anger in his voice.
Did I miss him? How could he even ask that? He just disappeared without a word! Sure, I said some harsh things, but still—
So many thoughts bubbled up inside me, but the only thing I could actually say out loud was a weak,
“…Huh?”
I couldn’t just blurt out “Of course I did!” like usual—not after all the awkwardness between us lately.
Seeing my flustered reaction, Allen gave a faint, bittersweet smile. As if he hadn’t expected to say this himself, he went on,
“I missed you.”
“…”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just kept my mouth shut. Allen didn’t say anything more either. He just kept looking straight at me.
Ugh, it felt like he was going to burn a hole through my face. It was nice, but also so embarrassing. I couldn’t handle it, so I tried to pretend I was looking elsewhere. Allen said, matter-of-factly,
“School… is boring.”
“…?”
“And three annoying guys keep clinging to me, so I kinda want to quit.”
He frowned like he really meant it. Seeing him complain like this somehow made me feel relieved, and I laughed without meaning to.
“Pfft.”
Even though I’d been a bit cold to him earlier, Allen was still so sweet. It might’ve sounded random to someone else, but I knew exactly why he brought it up.
He must’ve remembered that I’d once told him to share stories about school life when he started.
And now, here he was, telling me all about it out of the blue. I smiled more naturally and replied,
“Three guys clinging to you? That sounds tough. As for me, I want to quit because of Sharon Bernique, as you can see.”
“Then why don’t we both just quit?”
“That’s not it…”
Allen pouted like he’d known I’d say that. Feeling a little more relaxed, I leaned back in my seat and looked at him.
Allen’s hair glowed softly in the moonlight through the window.
He had his hair up today, so I couldn’t run my fingers through it like usual, but it still looked really good.
How could he look this handsome when I’m not around? Why doesn’t he dress up like this when he’s with me? I seriously need to screenshot this and save it forever.
I stared at Allen’s face, knowing it might be a while before I saw it again—as if capturing it with a camera.
That’s when I noticed a flower petal caught in his hair.
Seriously, where had he been that he ended up with flower petals in his hair?
Out of habit, I leaned forward and gently plucked the petal from his head.
“My Allen is basically a flower himself—of course he’d end up with petals stuck to him.”
“…”
Oh no. I’d accidentally fallen into the old habit of baby-talking him like ‘my precious child.’ Allen’s face stiffened a bit.
Ah, sorry. I won’t do that anymore. That was embarrassing.
In the past, it would’ve just passed without awkwardness, but I had already rejected his proposal and even suggested breaking off the engagement.
In other words, I couldn’t behave ambiguously with him anymore.
“Sorry.”
I quickly apologized and tried to pull back, but Allen grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer.
Before I could react, he turned my wrist over and pressed his lips gently to my palm before pulling away. The soft warmth of his lips on my hand made me tense up.
“Then why didn’t my Ronie fly to me when she saw the flower?”
“A-Allen…”
When I saw the way he was looking at me—serious, without a trace of teasing—my heart thudded.
If this were the old me, I’d be freaking out inside like, ‘He’s so cool! Kim Sohee, you’re the luckiest fangirl alive! Someone get me a coffin—my tombstone should read “Kim Sohee died of a heart attack here.”’ But now… things felt more complicated.
Was this my emotion? Ronie’s? Was it just my fangirl crush or was it pity? I couldn’t tell.
Allen looked pleased as he watched my confusion. He looked like he thought he’d won.
“Come to me whenever you want. Your place is always here.”
With that, he straightened his back like he’d just finished seducing me. The distance between us widened, but somehow, he still felt close.
In this enclosed space with just the two of us, the air felt hotter, and I found myself swept up in the mood—I had to cough just to snap out of it.
But the tingling in my palm wouldn’t go away.
After that, there wasn’t much conversation between us. I awkwardly shifted back to my seat like I’d just been caught doing something wrong.
Allen sat with his arms crossed, staring out the window. The corners of his lips were slightly upturned.
A kiss on the back of the hand might just be a polite gesture for noblewomen here…
But a kiss on the palm? That wasn’t just polite. On my palm, I could still feel not just Allen’s lips, but even his breath.
Why did something like this make me feel so shy?
I kept clenching and unclenching my fist because of the ticklish feeling in my hand. The more I did it, the more vivid the sensation became.
