‘This can’t go on.’
I needed a plan—a brilliant strategy to drive out these hopeless cases who had shamelessly invaded my small, precious territory.
Why were they all so obsessively attached to the crops I was growing?
Clutching my dirt-covered hoe, I glared at the three nuisances who had confidently claimed my garden as if it were their own.
Among them, the most annoyingly sociable one was lingering near the fresh green leaves of a potato plant.
“Wow, I can tell without even checking—these potatoes look amazing. Noona (older sister), are you really not thinking about selling them to the temple?”
“Yeah, no. Go home.”
“Aw, don’t be like that. Eating your crops seriously makes me feel like my divine power is getting stronger, you know?”
Anthony, who had crouched in front of a potato plant that hadn’t even bloomed yet, looked up at me with pitiful, puppy-dog eyes.
I couldn’t let myself be swayed by that innocent, dog-like face and those pleading eyes.
After all, he was one of the worst obsessive maniacs in the original story.
Before I could say a word, a soft voice interrupted.
“The Lady said no. And unfortunately, all these potatoes are already scheduled for delivery to the Imperial Palace.”
Because I was going to make sure of that.
Another hopeless case calmly laid claim to my potatoes with that gentle, unwavering voice.
Believe it or not, he was the Crown Prince of the Empire.
And in the original story, he was the main male lead with a yandere-level obsession.
Now, instead of the heroine, he was obsessed with potatoes—his strange, glimmering eyes filled with a dangerous kind of madness.
At the Crown Prince’s cold, quiet declaration, Anthony puffed out his cheeks in protest.
“Julian Hyung (older brother), say something! These are precious potatoes, grown with the fertilizer you made!”
Julian, who had been silently staring at the far side of the garden instead of the potatoes, adjusted his slipping glasses.
“The ridges over there are starting to tilt. The drainage angle looks fine… so why is this happening?”
Honestly, with the way he was looking at it, you’d think the entire world was tilting, not just the drainage angle.
Despite his appearance, he was actually a magical engineering genius, famously known as one of the brightest minds of the century.
Ignoring Anthony’s whining, Julian continued to seriously inspect the tilted garden bed.
Anthony, now sulking, quietly shuffled over to my side.
“Anyway, the only normal people in this house are me and Rose Noona.”
“If we’re being precise, you’re not exactly normal either.”
“Ahh… it would’ve been so nice if we could’ve shared these potatoes with the folks at my temple.”
He completely brushed off my remark, murmuring his overly scripted lines with those distant, golden eyes.
Come to think of it, all of this…
‘It’s all because of them.’
At first glance, they looked like harmless, squishy slimes—house elves… no, spirits.
The small, translucent beings, each about the size of a fist, were diligently carrying out the tasks I’d assigned them this morning.
The spirits, happily bouncing around on top of the potatoes, sparkled with an unnecessary innocence.
Kyahaha!
Their faint laughter floated through the air, unnoticed by the male leads, who were currently locked in a silent power struggle in someone else’s garden.
Originally, I just wanted to live a quiet life—peacefully farming in the countryside as a spirit summoner, hiding my true power.
‘How did it come to this?’
Why were all the main characters from the original story gathering up in my backyard garden?!
At this rate, my grand plan to escape the original plot was going to crumble into nothing more than a handful of fertilizer… and it had only been six months since I started this so-called peaceful life.
“Alright, that’s enough. Can you all just… get lost— I mean, would you please leave?”
My sweet, precious potatoes—just as important as my little territory—had to be protected at all costs!
But my desperate plea meant nothing to these obsessive maniacs with their bizarre fixation on staple crops.
“Why not hold your potato flower festival in the capital instead?”
The relentless Crown Prince casually slid a contract across the table—an exclusive supply agreement with the imperial family.
Julian, who had been completely absorbed in analyzing the slope of the garden beds until now, suddenly chimed in.
“Include the Magic Tower, too. The Tower Master’s been hooked on the carrots my Lord gave him last time—I’m sure he’d love the potatoes just as much.”
“I’ll think about it… after the festival’s over.”
“And how exactly are you planning to hold this festival? It’s in two days, and not a single flower has bloomed yet.”
My thoughts exactly. Normally, potato flowers start blooming in late May.
But now, even though it was already early June, the plants looked dried out—not a single bud in sight.
At this rate, I really might have to hold a potato flower festival… without any actual potato flowers.
Watching the spirits dangling from the potato stems, I let out a long, smoldering sigh.
‘Was it too much, even for the spirits?’
Since becoming the lord of this small mountain village, this was going to be my very first festival, and I wanted it to be a success.
As I bit my lip in frustration, the Crown Prince, watching me with that unsettling smile, was just about to speak.
But then, a sudden gust of wind swept through, blurring my vision and revealing a scene so unbelievable, I could hardly believe my own eyes.
“……!”
Whoosh. The potatoes, which had remained stubbornly silent until now, suddenly burst into bloom, their flower stalks springing to life.
Soft white petals, each tipped with bright yellow stamens, swayed gracefully in the wind.
It was such a breathtaking sight that, for a moment, it felt like midsummer snowflakes were falling from the sky.
The male leads, who had been bickering in front of my house over the crops, all froze in stunned silence.
Surprised myself, I lifted my head in disbelief.
‘What in the world just happened?’
And that’s when I made eye contact with him—a man who had been standing quietly, far removed from the commotion.
He lingered in the shadows, completely unnoticed by the other male leads, his eyes curving silently as they met mine.
Perhaps—no, without a doubt—he was someone even more dangerous than the original male leads.
His lips, crimson as if stained with peonies, slowly parted.
“Do you like it?”
It’s a gift.
Maybe it was because of that breathtakingly beautiful face, but I instinctively tightened my grip on the hoe in my hand.
‘That face… no matter how many times I see it, I’ll never get used to it.’
The wind tousled his silky black hair, a few strands falling gently across his perfectly shaped forehead.
His clear, delicate eyes and the sharp line of his nose looked as though they’d been drawn by an artist’s hand.
And those deep, shadowed blue eyes… they resembled the aching sky of midsummer.
Whoosh.
A second gust of wind swept through, and a delicate white potato petal landed softly on the man’s cheek.
Still wearing that unreadable smile, he parted his lips to speak once more.
“We…”
We?
“…when do we eat the potatoes?”
“……”
Ah, right. I had forgotten for a moment.
It’s not just the original male leads who are obsessed with my crops—there’s another lunatic in the mix.
Clearly, this is all the spirits’ fault—those tiny troublemakers now perched on top of my head, giggling like it’s all just a game.
Pretending not to notice the words forming on the man’s lips, I quietly turned my head away.
Original plot or whatever—I don’t need any of it. I just want all of them out of my house.
* * *
About six months ago, before I got entangled with all these different types of crazies.
I swear, I only closed my eyes for a moment while working late at the office.
“Good morning, orabeoni (older brother).”
With a bright, cheerful smile, I called a complete stranger ‘orabeoni’—like it was the most normal thing ever.
‘Life is….’
The small flinch in his eyes told me he had no idea how fast I was falling apart in real time.
Seated properly at the far end of the long dining table, the man slowly lifted his gaze.
“Orabeoni?”
His expression twisted, as if he’d just heard something unthinkable. This man—the young head of the prestigious Salome Ducal House, one of the empire’s three great families.
‘One of the obsessive, dangerously unhinged male leads from the original story, Dion Odette Salome.’
The half-brother of ‘Madrose,’ who was now glaring at me with frost in his icy purple eyes.
Only then did it start to feel real.
I had transmigrated into the body of the worst villain in a tragic, R-rated reverse harem novel called ‘Illyana’s Cage’.
Roseciel Candid Salome.
Infamously known among readers as ‘Madrose’, she tormented the female lead without a shred of remorse until she finally met her end at the execution grounds.
And the man is now staring at me with open disgust?
He was the very one who, in the original story, would personally carry out my execution.
I kept repeating ‘Don’t panic, don’t panic’ in my head as I forced an even bigger smile.
“It rained all night yesterday, but the weather’s quite lovely this morning, don’t you think?”
“…Did you eat something rotten for breakfast?”
“Oh, I’m just about to eat. Mind if I sit here?”
Without waiting for his answer, I calmly took the seat across from him.
From the moment I walked into the room, the servants had frozen like statues, as if they’d seen a ghost.
But now, they suddenly sprang into action, rushing to serve the meal.
“Ridiculous. Instead of making a scene in the dining room, now you want to join me for breakfast?”
Dion’s sharp gaze pierced through me, as if silently asking, Are you completely insane?
The first thing that caught my eye was his silver hair, darker than mine, almost gray in tone.
Beneath the slightly wavy strands, his cold violet eyes burned with pure, unmistakable hatred.
“Was wreaking havoc throughout the mansion last night not enough for you?”
“Don’t worry. I fully intend to have a civilized conversation with you today, orabeoni.”
Carefully concealing my true intentions, I calmly sipped the pre-meal wine.
After the sudden, random transmigration last night, I had spent the entire evening turning one question over and over in my head: How do I avoid the guillotine ending and escape the original storyline?
‘And then—I found the answer.’
A perfect, peaceful little place where I could live comfortably, far away from all the male leads of the original story—the place was…
