Chapter 41
Mia couldn’t say for certain that Ătienne hadnât been poisoned in this lifetimeâwhether it had happened in Glenn or not. After all, she hadnât been watching him constantly. As far as she knew, it was unlikely, but once he collapsed without warning, phrases like âas far as I knowâ became meaningless. He had truly lost consciousness.
What had happened was probablyâno, almost certainlyâMiaâs fault. At least, thatâs what Mia believed.
âI shouldnât have just told him about the danger. I shouldâve watched with my own eyes what went into his mouth. I shouldnât have let him push himself like he did today either.â
Mia placed her hand on his chest once more. Crimson holy power flowed from her fingertips into his body, quickly spreading like flames across his entire form. But still, there was no change.
Or rather, in a way, everything had changed. He didnât even flinch at her touch, clinging so closely to him. The corners of his lips, once constantly curved in a playful smile, were now motionless.
AndâŠ
âSomething is definitely wrong.â
More than just not responding to her healing, Ătienneâs body seemed to be actively rejecting the holy power entering it.
âThis is my fault. I shouldâve kept a better eye on him. Noâhe should never have had to fight in my place in the first place.â
To think that even after what she had witnessed in her previous life, she assumed Ătienne wouldnât step in for herâit was a clear misjudgment.
âMaybe it wouldâve been better if my identity had been revealed back there. At least then, he wouldnât have collapsed without even having a chance to defend himself. Even if it was a strategically poor decision, it wouldâve been better than having the commander fall.â
In truth, within the limits of what Mia could control, her decisions had been entirely rational and beneficial for both the Etalon armyâand Ătienne.
She had used every bit of information she had to patch up any vulnerabilities the enemy might exploit. Even if it meant putting herself in danger, she had always acted to protect Ătienne.
So to strictly blame Mia for what happened was unfair. It was no different than when she had blamed the emperor of Veridian for the collapsing market in Ravenâthough she had been the one to mismanage it.
Mia was aware of this too. But even so, she was also the one best equipped to foresee such an incident within the Etalon army. She had voluntarily taken on the role of protecting the legion commander. So if something went wrong, she had to be the one to take responsibility.
If the goddess had granted her a second chance for this very reason, Mia had almost squandered it for a foolish and pitiful cause.
And perhaps, if Ătienne never woke up again, it was already too late.
âIf I had truly done my job properly, this wouldnât have happened. The fact that he still hasnât regained consciousness is proof of my incompetenceâand the goddessâs reproach for my lack of resolve.â
The shadow of guilt that had begun to consume her was not something that could be soothed by reason.
âSo you still havenât figured out the cause?â
âIâm doing everything I canâŠâ
Bertrand, who had returned with a few diagnostic tools, was flustered. When he had first entered the room, he had been deathly pale, covered in bruises and looking like he was about to die. But Mia, the strategist, had quickly regained her senses and begun demanding answers, her eyes wild with urgency, to the point that it almost scared him.
Miaâs supposedly excessive reaction wasnât so excessive after all. After conducting a proper examination, it turned out that the one truly close to death wasnât Miaâbut Ătienne. Of course, Bertrand had seen worse cases during previous campaigns. But Ătienne now⊠something was different.
âIt looks like a fever,â he said.
Something was off.
âLooks like a fever? Thatâs all you can say after an hour of examination?â
âItâs strange for someone to have such a high fever without any prior symptoms. And considering he just came from battle, there are surprisingly few external injuries.â
âIn a situation this strange, shouldnât you, as the medical officer, be the one to take responsibility and offer an explanation?â
âIf Your Excellency could just provide more detailed context, I might be able to come up with a more precise hypothesisâŠâ
âI already told you the situation in detail.â
âStillââ
âI was imprisoned and couldnât use holy power, so I was beaten one-sidedly. The commander came to rescue me. He was able to use holy power freely and had better combat skills than me, so the fight ended quickly. On the way back, a child clung to him, so he donated some personal belongings.â
âBut if thatâs truly allâŠâ
âI already told youâthatâs everything.â
Mia cut him off sharply, clearly agitated.
âBut still, how could things get this bad?â
âFiguring that out is your job, isnât it?â
âYour Excellency, but even for meâŠâ
Your Excellency. Ătienne had always called her that with such formality, even in private, and as a result, other soldiers had followed his example and treated her like a high-ranking officialâeven on the battlefield. Though her rank didnât require such respect, Ătienne had always addressed her with the utmost courtesy, and she had let it be.
But now, in this moment, that very titleâYour Excellencyâfelt like a wedge, pushing her away. It felt like confirmation that despite playing the role of strategist, she was never truly a member of the Holy Legion.
It wasnât just about belonging. It meant that now, with Ătienne incapacitated, the others might target her as someone vulnerable. She still lacked popularity and trust among the troops.
The medical officerâs offhanded use of the title continued to echo in her mind long after he left, tormenting her. But perhaps it only bothered her this much because Ătienne wasnât waking up.
In the end, everything led back to Ătienne.
âAnd⊠he did say that as far as he knows, thereâs no way to heal Ătienne in this state.â
When they had first deployed, Mia had been the only one in the First Holy Legion who couldnât use holy power. But now, she was learning how to wield it fluently. That meant everyone could at least handle the basics. So if holy power could have solved the issue, it should have worked by now.
âAnd itâs not like we havenât tried non-magical treatments either.â
The medic had stayed at Ătienneâs side for three long hours, attempting every treatment he knewâbut nothing had opened Ătienneâs eyes. Mia hadnât expected immediate recovery, but the lack of a diagnosis was entirely unexpected.
âHis body is still burning up.â
They said a proper diagnosis required full context. But Mia had already explained everything she could say.
âThere were other things that came to mind, butâŠâ
She had described everything she could see. If he still couldnât figure it out, then the fault lay with the medicâs abilityâor with the circumstances she hadnât disclosed.
Assuming the medic wasnât the problem, only one possibility remained.
In retrospect, it made sense. In their past life, Ătienne had often collapsed after using excessive amounts of holy power. Mia had prevented him from being drugged in Glenn this time, so she had assumed that wouldnât happen again. But the evidence stood starkly before her.
âSo once again, if it werenât for the battle that happened because of me, he wouldnât have collapsed.â
That meant this wasnât just about recklessly wandering into enemy territory and getting him hurt. If his injuries had come from enemy hands, healing wouldâve been easierâand Miaâs guilt wouldnât have been so heavy.
Mia once again channeled holy power into Ătienne. Falling apart in guilt while there was still something she could do wasnât a rational choice.
Still, his body refused her power. The red light shimmered faintly across his skin before being reabsorbed into her fingertips.
ââŠUgh.â
Mia groaned softly and collapsed to her knees. The headache she had recently managed to keep at bay returned at the worst possible time.
