“When I tried to explain everything, the one who didn’t want to listen was you. You’re the one who told me we shouldn’t run into each other, not even by accident.”
At Yoon Jaeha’s words, Hye-won found herself recalling the now distant past.
It had been shortly after starting university. Jaeha had called her endlessly back then.
But around that time, Hye-won had grown tired. His behavior, which never changed no matter what she did, had worn her down—and that exhaustion naturally led to giving up.
They say when a woman holds a grudge, frost falls even in the height of summer…
As if to prove that saying true, Hye-won had cut Jaeha off without a shred of hesitation.
She erased every trace of him from her life, one by one. And whatever couldn’t be erased, she ruthlessly carved out. The fact that she was living in a dorm at an all-women’s university, with limited freedom of movement, had been a great help.
As long as she stayed confined to campus, there was no chance of running into Yoon Jaeha.
Right before blocking his number, Hye-won had answered his call for the last time.
“Hye-won, please, let me explain. Let me tell you why I did what I did. Please, Won-ah, we—”
“Jaeha, what’s the point of that now? I can’t even say ‘take care’ as an empty formality. You should go home for the holidays and breaks. But don’t come on weekends. And Yoon Jaeha…”
“Let’s never even run into each other again, not even by accident.”
That was the end of it.
Jaeha, who had said he wanted to explain everything, hadn’t uttered another word. He had obeyed her request without protest, and after that, they’d never once crossed paths.
Right… we’d thrown each other away like that.
Hye-won shook off Jaeha’s hand, which was tightly gripping hers.
She was the one who’d said they shouldn’t meet again. But every result has a cause. In the end, the one who’d driven her to say those words… was none other than Yoon Jaeha.
“So go ahead—tell me now. Why did you do it? Why did you do that to me?”
Jaeha finally spoke, his voice so low it was nearly a whisper, as if confessing at a church, burdened and exhausted:
“I still don’t know which choice would’ve been better for you. Even now, I don’t know… So imagine how I was at nineteen. Nineteen years of liking you, but too much of a coward to confess.”
Looking at Jaeha, who seemed so fragile he might shatter at any moment, Hye-won could feel her rage settling.
Just like he said, back then… they had been young. Clumsy, immature, and awkward, just like their first kiss, when their teeth had bumped together.
Hye-won took his small hand, leading him to the bed. She sat him down beside her.
They’d gone in circles like this all morning, but this conversation was unavoidable.
“Fine. So you’re saying something did happen, right?”
Jaeha nodded, biting his lip hard. His trembling eyes filled with tears, and soon they rolled down his cheeks.
“Don’t cry. Crying won’t solve anything.”
“You’ve gotten stronger, Han Hye-won.”
“Yeah… because of you.”
Her words were sharp, but still, Hye-won wiped his tear-streaked cheek with her palm. Jaeha crying felt unfamiliar.
In her memory, he’d always been someone she could lean on—a reassuring presence just by being near.
…Damn, why do I look so good?
Even crying, she looked heartbreakingly delicate. Even she had to admit she looked good.
“Won-ah… do you remember Choi Soo-rin?”
“Soo-rin? Yeah, of course. She was there when we kissed, wasn’t she?”
Choi Soo-rin. Back then, she’d been a trainee aiming to debut as an idol, well-known around campus—and even in the nearby neighborhoods—for her stunning looks and figure.
Although Soo-rin never made it as an idol, she later rose to fame as a successful actress.
These days, she was everywhere: commercials, prime-time dramas, variety shows—you couldn’t turn on the TV without seeing her.
Simply put, she’d become a top-tier celebrity, someone Hye-won couldn’t even dream of competing with.
“Actually… Soo-rin blackmailed me.”
“What? What are you talking about? Why would Soo-rin—?”
Jaeha hesitated, his voice faltering.
“My guess is… she was jealous of you.”
…What is he even saying?
“She said if I didn’t stay away from you, she’d make your life miserable.”
Even now, the memory seemed painful—he bit his lip again as Hye-won remembered that day.
What the hell is going on?
Soo-rin’s mocking tone echoed in her ears. Right after that, Jaeha had told her to head home first.
Shame over being caught kissing, guilt over what they’d done… in the end, Hye-won had reluctantly nodded.
At her urging, Jaeha explained the rest, recounting the past in painstaking detail.
“So, Soo-rin…”
‘Just until next spring. If you pretend you don’t know Han Hye-won until then, I’ll keep my mouth shut.’
‘Why should I listen to you?’
‘Do you want to ruin Hye-won’s life? You think you can handle that?’
‘…’
‘If you don’t do what I say, I’ll make her life hell. You know she’s the type who’d die for her friends, right? And you’re one of them too, aren’t you?’
“Soo-rin meant every word. The only way I could protect you was by giving in to her.”
“…Wait. That time I got falsely accused of stealing… was that her too?”
“Yeah. She told me herself it was all her doing. If we’d been in the same class, I never would’ve listened to someone like her.”
Back then, Jaeha and Soo-rin were in Class 3. Hye-won had been in Class 9—a different floor entirely.
Each classroom was its own little world. Meaning, even Jaeha couldn’t intervene in what happened in another class.
“…Okay. I get it. I understand everything you’re saying.”
“Won-ah…”
“I get it, but I honestly can’t say I understand. That Soo-rin was jealous of me? That alone is hard to believe. And even if that was true…”
Her voice was cold as ice. Jaeha’s head dropped, tears falling onto his pajama top.
“I’m sorry. It was my fault…”
She would never fully understand him, no matter how many lifetimes passed. But she could understand Soo-rin, at least a little.
Back then, Soo-rin had been sharp enough to predict how it would all end. And Jaeha and Hye-won… had been fragile enough to break with the slightest breeze.
“But like you said, we were young… And because of that, let’s just forget it all. Let’s go back to how things were before.”
Hye-won’s honest words made Jaeha lift his head. His tear-streaked cheeks glistened as he wiped them with the back of his hand, his voice firm.
“We’re not going back. I told you before— you’re not ‘just a friend’ to me. I’m not doing that anymore.”
“Then what do you want? Jaeha, I want you in my life for a long time. Look at us—we finally met again, after everything. But if we date… if we break up…”
Couples split up all the time— even married ones. And she missed him desperately.
There’s a relationship that brings happiness as friends, and another that’s satisfying as lovers. Their past proved they belonged in the former.
“If we break up… it’s over forever.”
“No, we’re different now. Back then, I was scared— scared of losing you, so I kept swallowing my feelings, over and over.”
“Jaeha…”
“But living like that was torture. I’m not asking you to answer right now. Just… during these forty-nine days, listen to your heart.”
Jaeha wiped his tears, his voice sincere, his eyes clear and unwavering as he pleaded.
Could they really change? Doubt clouded her heart. But looking at Jaeha, so pitiful… she couldn’t say it out loud.
“Then promise me one thing. After the forty-nine days are up… we’ll go back to how things were, and you’ll follow my decision.”
She already knew what she would tell him. That they could never be more than friends.
Even if her decision cut him like a knife, she would choose herself over hesitation—she would be ruthless for her own sake.
In the seven years without him, she’d grown sharper than Soo-rin, more calculating, and unwilling to suffer anymore.
“…Okay. I promise.”
Contrary to her expectations, Jaeha agreed easily. He wiped his remaining tears with determination and held out his pinky.
“Come on, pinky swear.”
“Are you a kid? Why don’t we get a contract notarized while we’re at it?”
“Should we?”
Jaeha grabbed her pinky without waiting, linking their fingers together. His smile was pure, too clean, too perfect.
Damn it…
Her heart clenched painfully, her chest tightening, heat rising to her neck.
“I’ll do better, Hye-won.”
“…Yeah, well, you’d better.”
“I’ll make you so happy you’ll forget all the pain I caused.”
Isn’t this practically a proposal…?
Her heart was pounding out of control. Flustered, she quickly changed the subject.
“By the way, were you always such a crybaby?”
“Huh?”
“You’re like a leaky faucet. What guy cries that much?”
“…”
“I don’t know… I just feel so down lately.”
“We got any chocolate at home? Maybe I’m craving sweets because of all the crying.”
Jaeha got up quickly and hurried out of the room, leaving Hye-won behind… her face slowly turning pale.
