Since he had promised to follow her instructions, Masera rubbed his face as if washing it, feeling troubled.
“……Alright.”
* * *
Masera was worried the entire time he was in the room.
The wine, cake, and fruit prepared for the newlyweds were one thing, but the roses decorating every corner were extremely bothersome. The sound of water running in the bathroom was the same.
‘What does this mean?’
Saying ‘Stay with me‘ with such a forlorn look was an extremely stimulating signal to a healthy man, regardless of their relationship.
It was also strange that her face was redder than usual. And to top it off, she looked beautiful.
Hair like silver thread, gently drooping large, clear doe-like eyes, and small lips that form a bright, innocent smile.
Then she came out, drying her wet hair, and looked up at him.
“The hot water works well. I was worried I’d have to do a cold water rubdown.”
‘Beautiful, did I think that?’
Am I really thinking this?
He had been subjected to all sorts of temptations, including being beckoned to with a naked body, but he had never felt his composure shaken like this before.
And all it took was a single word?
Masera quickly entered the bathroom and buttoned himself up securely after showering.
When he came out, Cynthia was completely covered by the blanket.
“I was going to…….”
Just as he was about to say he would sleep on the sofa, a light flashed outside the window. It seemed fireworks had started.
Bang-!
The soundproofing wasn’t great, so the sound of the fireworks leaked in.
Cynthia, covered in the blanket, flinched and curled up into a ball.
“What’s wrong?”
Only then did Masera realize something was wrong. He slightly pulled back the blanket to check on her.
When Cynthia, who had been covering her ears and cowering, lifted her head, a face filled with fear and terror was revealed. Her already pale face was even whiter.
It was similar to the face she had made during the shooting at the engagement ceremony.
“Are you sick? If you tell me your symptoms…….”
At his question, Cynthia, trembling, buried her face in the sheets again.
“……Scared.”
Could she be afraid of the sound of fireworks?
Masera recalled the symptoms of war trauma that people experience.
It was PTSD from the was, experienced not only by soldiers but also by civilians, even young children.
He hurriedly turned off all the lights in the bedroom.
‘But that can’t be. She was in a place untouched by war.’
Just as he was about to get up to get a sedative from the ship attendant, she grabbed his hand.
“Don’t go.”
Masera looked back at her.
“Why?”
“I don’t want to be alone.”
He could hear Cynthia sobbing from where her face was buried in the blanket.
Where was her mind at? And who was she looking at and talking to? Probably the ‘brother‘ she had called out at the engagement ceremony.
Masera sat down next to her.
She didn’t seem to be experiencing hyperventilation or seizures, so it seemed best to just stay by her side for now.
He looked down at the white, slender hand that was desperately clutching his own.
It was the first time he had seen Cynthia’s bare hands, as she always wore gloves.
“…….”
They were rough for the hands of a noble-born royal.
Suddenly, he saw tears spreading on the sheet where she had buried her face.
He carefully patted Cynthia’s delicate back, which was curled up.
Boom-!
With a loud noise, the various colors of the fireworks intersected and illuminated the bedroom. It seemed the fireworks were reaching their climax.
“Ugh, ugh…… Mom, Dad…… Sister…….”
She was covering her ears and moaning like a terrified child.
As he was wondering what to do, Cynthia pulled his hand.
Masera’s pupils, dyed purple in the darkness, slowly turned towards the ceiling.
“You’re making me worried.”
With a low murmur, his body slowly tilted as Cynthia pulled him.
Someone on the deck was happy, cherishing the fireworks painting the sky as a memory, but someone else was cowering in the memory of an air raid.
And someone was holding and comforting the cowering person.
As time passed, the surroundings became as silent as death.
“It’s over now.”
He tried to bring Cynthia, who was buried in his chest and clinging to him, back to reality.
The hair that touched below his chin shook slightly. Soon, he felt her breathing become more relaxed.
And how much time had passed?
‘Should I tell her doctor?’
Masera, who had changed his position and was lying straight, was lost in thought as he looked at the ceiling.
Cynthia was leaning her head on his broad shoulder and cluching his waist.
‘What should I do about her clothes?’
It seemed her trauma had manifested while she was washing up and changing into her pajamas. He could feel her bare skin touching him because she hadn’t buttoned up properly.
He could smell a milky peach scent from the body was clinging to him.
***
Boom-!
“It’ll be okay, don’t cry.”
Along with her father’s affectionate voice, she heard the siren of the shelter announcing the air raid.
Was this a dream or a hallucination?
Soon, the scene changed.
She saw boots moving steadily in her field of vision, as she was cowering under the bed.
Following her father’s advice to count to 100, she closed her eyes and counted in her head.
‘One, two, three, four.’
She counted along with the fierce gunshots that shook the floor.
‘One person, two people, three people…….’
The sound of people screaming always followed the gunshots.
Her father left that day.
In her childhood, when she only knew how to count to 50, her older brother, who had carried her on his back after her father’s funeral, said.
“Little one, I’ll protect you from now on. You promised Dad that you’d always smile, right?”
At the time, she was young, and her brother, who was much older than her, was a soldier.
“Brother, why does everyone keep dying except me?”
“It’s just, you are lucky. You survived when the building collapsed before, too. Mom and Dad always said that you were born with luck.”
“When will the war end? I miss my friends.”
Her sister, who was five years older than her and had taught her how to count to 100 in place of her father, smiled with a sad look.
“……Think of it as a play. This war, this pain, will end someday.”
“Sister. If we think we’re in a play where everyone is happy, will we really become happy?”
Her brother’s voice echoed, saying that she had to live to do that.
After that, her brother and sister died, but she survived.
As always, it was because she was lucky.
“Don’t leave me alone…….”
They said there was a law of conservation in the world.
If she gained something, someone else lost it.
She was sometimes tormented by the guilt that her luck had become someone else’s misfortune. It naturally happened as she listened to the resentment of the bereaved families who had lost their families.
Nevertheless, she did not give up and lived with a smile. Because that was everyone’s last wish.
Then, among the survivors, rumors spread that ‘the government has abandoned this city.’ It was obvious that it would be occupied soon.
What were they fighting for? She didn’t want it.
On the thirtieth day of the air raid, she did not go to the shelter.
Cold rain soaked the ruined city.
Wasn’t it better to leave the world quickly than to be left alone after sending one person after another to their deaths?
She felt good, as if the falling rain was washing away all her sadness. She also felt relieved.
She sat down on a piano abandoned on the side of the road and tried to play the keys. Some of the keys didn’t make a sound, as if they were broken.
“I should have practiced hard when I could.”
Then she could have ended it beautifully, like the last will of a pianist.
Just then, she saw planes flying in formation across the sky.
Since when had she stopped being afraid of seeing planes?
Before the war broke out, the illusion of paper airplanes that her father and brother used to fold flew across the sky.
“Take me with you now.”
She smiled and looked up at the cloudy sky.
The light falling like a meteor shower was dazzlingly beautiful.
“Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister. I’m going to see you now.”
These were her last words.
Beyond the light surrounding her, she heard someone’s voice.
“It’s over now.”
Only after hearing the kind voice did she realize that this was a dream.
She reached out towards the voice. Soon, she felt herself being wrapped in a warm embrace.
