* * *
Cynthia and Masera, who had only intended to make an appearance at the banquet, returned to the official residence early.
“It’s annoying to dress up every day, but I like it because there’s a lot of delicious food. Since dignitaries from various countries attend, there are so many different kinds of dishes…”
Cynthia chattered cheerfully as usual, and Masera only nodded or gave short answers.
He had left the garden immediately earlier and hadn’t heard Cynthia’s answer to the Duke’s proposal.
He had run away because he was afraid of her answer.
Because of the fabricated the scandal with Carlos in the past, he didn’t care at all about the photos of the Duke and her together. However, her unfinished will and the words of regret he had accumulated so far felt like they were constantly aiming for his vital spot.
Everything became a ‘good reason for her to leave.’
‘She might be afraid of me, who has a grudge against the royal family.’
That’s why he decided to pretend he didn’t see it.
Because the moment he asked, she might run away.
And then, he might lose his mind and do something to her.
* * *
I sensed a different aura from Masera than usual.
From the way back to the official residence until it was late at night and time to go to bed, he was silent or only gave necessary answers.
Beneath his lowered eyelids, his sunken eyes had the color of burnt ashes.
“Go to sleep first. I have work to do.”
His voice was also low and subdued.
He, who had only been straightforward until now, didn’t insist on being together for once.
Somehow, it felt like a train that had been running full steam ahead was running out of fuel and slowly stopping.
I entered the bedroom alone, flopped down on the bed, and looked up at the ceiling.
Did something bad happen? Or is he angry with me?
Suddenly, the Duke’s proposal at the banquet flashed through my mind.
Could it be that Count Queensguard subtly provoked Masera by hinting at it?
“That’s sudden, Duke. That’s against social sentiment. You can’t easily break a lifelong promise like marriage.”
I refused the Duke’s proposal outright, of course.
“I’ve been sending you gifts for some time, but it seems my feelings haven’t been conveyed well.”
As I replayed the Duke’s words, my eyes widened, and I covered my mouth.
I had never received a single gift he sent.
Masera must have disposed of them in the middle.
‘Masera had already noticed.’
Was Masera’s statement that he was afraid I would disappear also due to this misunderstanding?
* * *
I stood in front of Masera’s office with the special snack that the chef Zad had made for me.
Misunderstandings should be resolved quickly through conversation.
Knock knock-
“Are you asleep…?”
But even after knocking on the door several times like an ex-girlfriend who came back with lingering feelings, there was no response.
I guess I’ll just have to leave the snack.
I quietly opened the door and entered the office. The empty office felt chilly and desolate today.
Maybe he’s sleeping in the bedroom attached to the office.
I tiptoed to the desk in the office and carefully placed the snack down when I noticed something.
It was a photo sticking out halfway under the documents.
Familiar clothes caught my eye first.
‘Those are my clothes?’
I took out the photo and was immediately startled, my eyes widening.
It was a picture of me and the Duke sitting side by side on a bed inside Anna’s house.
“This is completely…”
It was a scene that could easily cause misunderstandings!
Masera wouldn’t have assigned a surveillance person to me, so who took it?
My excellent and tight-lipped guards wouldn’t have done that, so could it be Charles, the Queensguard’s spy?
Whoever did it, the misunderstanding can be resolved.
If I tell the truth with all my heart…
“I told you not to enter my office without permission.”
At that moment, I heard Masera’s calm voice from behind.
Oh, right! The Neapolitan urban legend-like rule that Diego told me about as soon as I got here! (TL/N: remember that pasta joke from the very beginning?)
“I’m sorry. I thought you looked like you were in a bad mood, so I was trying to make you feel better by feeding you something sweet…”
Because I forgot and broke the rule, I said, shrinking back, and Masera’s eyes turned to the photo in my hand.
Feeling his cold gaze, I quickly put the photo down and explained.
“I didn’t rummage through the desk, I just saw it. First, let me explain about the photo.”
But no more words came out.
Anna, who delivered Helene’s fake note, and the Duke, who hid Anna, but she disappeared overnight.
To explain this, I had to start from the cause.
I felt a pang in my heart and clenched my fist.
‘Ah, I’m a being who can’t convey my true feelings in the first place.’
The reason I couldn’t reveal the circumstances like the purge of the Count’s family’s servants was because I was worried that he might unintentionally reach the truth.
Masera, who was watching my expression, swept back his platinum blonde hair and tightened his lips.
“You don’t have to explain. I’m not angry at all, and I trust you.”
Masera’s expression, saying that, was not relaxed at all. The trust he spoke of sounded like blind loyalty, as if he would even accept having a knife of betrayal stabbed into his heart.
A slight tremor was mixed in his calm voice.
“You are special, and I know that there are many who covet or target you. I also know that you are an upright person who does not commit wrongdoing. However…”
His following words were drowned out by an explosive sound like a thunderbolt.
Kugugugung-!
It was the sound of an earthquake that I had never heard before, the ground splitting apart.
The floor shook so much that I lost my balance and fell, and the books and objects that had been arranged began to spill.
The dull sound of hitting the floor and the clattering sound of breaking were mixed up in a chaotic manner.
At the same time, I saw a tall cabinet tilting towards me.
Soon, my vision flipped, and I heard the crashing sound of the cabinet falling.
Kwaang!
Before I knew it, the shaking stopped, and the surroundings became quiet.
When I opened my tightly closed eyes, I saw Masera’s eyes close to me, his body overlapping mine.
“However, I don’t have the certainty that you won’t leave my side.”
The blue color that had seeped into the edges, the purple color contained within, was like the last flame sinking into a lake.
Longing welled up in his fading eyes.
“…I know it’s not something I should interfere with. From the moment you first came here, it was me who said I wouldn’t care who you met or what you did.”
He supported himself on the floor with both hands, lifted his upper body, and exhaled a heavy, wet breath.
“But now, it’s beyond worrying, it’s driving me crazy. I don’t know if it’s a possessiveness that doesn’t want to be taken away, or if I’m desiring you, I don’t even know what kind of feeling it is.”
Masera stopped speaking and turned his head, and I could see his Adam’s apple moving up and down.
He swallowed something that was rising to the back of his throat and continued speaking in a tone that suppressed his emotions to the extreme.
“I know you don’t completely trust me. But I don’t want you to become a tool for producing an heir or to be used as a political means.”
“……”
Even a king was ultimately subject to the rule and control of the suzerain state. Especially the royal families who had fallen and only had bloodlines left were in a more miserable situation.
They could be treated as consumables, having them give birth to royalty to fill the monarchies that had disappeared due to war and revolution, starting another war by borrowing the mouth of a puppet king with a regent, and shifting the responsibility for the results and executing them.
He seemed to be suffering, worrying about my miserable future.
“I don’t want to see you ruined by the selfishness and greed of men. But I don’t want you to die by my side either.”
Whether it was because of the roar of the earthquake or because the words of entreaty that the taciturn man was pouring out were stuck in my throat, no words came out.
He had a confused look on his face, as if he didn’t know what to do at all.
He took a breath, made eye contact again, and opened his lips.
“I was wrong about everything. I will try harder in the future. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like me. Even so, if you hate being by my side so much that you want to leave…”
His tone was restrained like a soldier, but somehow it felt desperate.
His face looked expressionless and firm as usual, but it felt like it was starting to crack from the inside.
The floor shook again, and he lowered his body and hugged me. His hair, which had buried his face in the hollow of my neck, tickled my cheek.
Soon, a cold breath and a low voice leaked into my ear.
“Just, do as you please.”
