TSS 1

⁜ Chapter 1. The Secret Garden

I was sick and tired of everything.

“I’ll stay at Grandma’s house.”

The rain was cold. My mother, holding an umbrella, looked at me standing in the rain.
Shouldn’t a mother share her umbrella with her daughter?
I thought that for a second, then laughed inside. My mom never once held an umbrella for me.

“A haunted house? What will you do there alone?”

Her eyes behind her glasses were cold.

A haunted house?

At that moment, I was glad my hands were empty. If I had been holding a phone, I might have thrown it.

“A haunted house? Do you even know where we are, Mom?”

Like a child, I screamed. People passing by stared at us, but neither of us cared.

So I shouted even louder, for everyone to hear.

“You dare say that in Grandma’s resting place?! She has been gone for less than an hour, and you call it a haunted house? Are you even her daughter? Are you even human?”

All my life, she never once brought me an umbrella on rainy school days.

Still, I told myself it was fine. She was busy. She was the great top instructor, Oh Soo-hee.
She never came to my school entrance ceremony, not in elementary, not in university.

I used to think it was too much, but I endured it.

Because I had my grandmother. She hugged me and comforted me whenever my mother left me behind for her career.

Grandma always said:

“Your mother is soft at heart. She is really a good child, and she loves you very much.”

I believed it.

Mom loves me. She’s just too busy. She doesn’t show weakness in front of me because she might break.

That’s what I thought.

But after Grandma’s death, watching Mom come only to grab papers, pay bills, and then disappear… I understood.

Grandma told a kind lie.

Mom doesn’t love me. She didn’t even love Grandma. She doesn’t know what love is.

Even when her daughter cries in the rain, she holds the umbrella only for herself.

“I don’t want to see you for a while.”

“Why? If you never see me again, will you worry about money?”

Her laugh was bitter.

I looked straight at her. Tears rolled down my face, but she didn’t notice. Maybe because of the rain. But no— even under the sun, her face would be the same.

Cold, sharp, like no blood could come out even if stabbed with a needle.

“Fine. Let’s never see each other again.”

I no longer wanted to call her my mom.

I turned my back and walked away. They said a bus would take me from here to the funeral hall.

Good. Mom had her own car, so I wouldn’t have to see her again.

Grandma had died, but it felt like I had just lost my mother forever.

It was not easy to go to Grandma’s house.

I was soaked from the rain, scolded when I got on the funeral bus, stared at on the subway.

I knew acting on feelings always came with a price, but I couldn’t stop myself.

By the time I reached Grandma’s house, it was already dark.

The road without streetlights in the rain was scary. I kept turning back, thinking of murderers.

Grandma’s house was in the countryside near Gyeonggi-do. Quiet, but close to a subway station. She probably chose it so I could visit often.

Still, it was a thirty-minute walk from the station. But at least I could use the subway.

As soon as I arrived, I checked the envelopes of money. They were condolence gifts from the funeral.

At the hall, I hadn’t had time to check them. Thankfully, my friends had stayed with me, greeting the visitors while I sat alone as chief mourner.

Mom had paid the funeral cost, but when I gave her the condolence money:

“Keep it. I don’t need it.”

She refused to even touch it, then drove away in her own car, leaving me on the bus.

Her assistant gave me a pitying look, but I couldn’t bring myself to greet them. I was too angry.

“Where’s your mother?”
“She isn’t here.”
“Oh dear… you must be Ms. Oh’s daughter. Here, buy yourself something nice.”

Mom’s colleagues weren’t surprised she wasn’t there. They only pitied me.

They gave me pocket money. But more than the money, I wanted to know what kind of relationships she had with them.
But she wasn’t there to ask.

I counted the money and grew afraid. Over 50 million won.

Could I really keep this? I thought about calling Mom, but then turned off my phone. I didn’t want to contact her.

Finally, I finished counting. Money has such a strong smell.

The total was 86.75 million won.

I deposited it all at a city bank. Walking with that much cash was terrifying. My hands shook.

After depositing, I sat down inside the bank, calming myself.

Then, outside, the heat hit me. It was August. The sun was merciless.

The town was thirty minutes away from Grandma’s. I sighed deeply.

I bought an ice cream on the way back. Sweet in my mouth, sweat on my body.

After showering, I put on pajamas and drank cold water from the fridge. Through the kitchen window, I saw Grandma’s garden.

Should I call it a garden or a yard? It was small, but so pretty and well-kept.

Grandma always tended gardens, wherever she lived. And she always had tea with me there.

On sunny days, sitting together, drinking tea, looking at the flowers… the world felt warm.

The garden was still the same.

Strangely, it didn’t feel real that Grandma was gone.

If I sat outside, I thought she would bring cocoa, saying the dog liked it too.

I couldn’t believe such days would never come again.

Her fridge still had lemon syrup and soda water. She used to make lemonade in summer.

I mixed a drink and went out the back door. My slippers were still neatly waiting there.

I sat on the iron chair, waiting for her. But she didn’t come.

“Grandma…”

If I called, she would answer— but no sound came.

Tears fell. I knew I was being pathetic, but what else could I do?

It was the first time someone I loved had died.

And she had been the only one who loved me most in the world. Maybe the only one at all.

What do you do when that person is gone?

I walked through the garden and laughed at her little vegetable patch.

It had a short wooden fence, only 15 cm tall, with a tiny door. Who would bother opening it?

I never had. Once, I tried—

“Why did you put a door here, Grandma?”

She slapped my hand.

“It’s for style! Don’t break it!”

She cared about style like that.

Now, crouching there, I remembered and opened the door. There was no one to stop me anymore.

I stepped through. And at that moment—

Flash!

The world changed.

I stood on endless green land, under a vast sky. Wind blew hard, grass bowed low.

Behind me was a forest, so thick that even in daylight I couldn’t see inside.

Grandma’s house was gone.

Where was I? My mind went blank.