Chapter 37.
When Selena returned through death,
To be honest… Hereis once blamed Eleanor for a brief moment.
Because he was human.
A powerless man who had lost the one he loved.
He had investigated over and over again, learning this was just a tragic accident, a cruel twist of fate. He knew—it wasn’t Eleanor’s fault.
Still, that didn’t stop the pain.
‘Are you… the heir of the North?’
‘I’m Selena. Selena Valois.’
‘Haha, the Young Duke isn’t like the rumors. I think… you’re kind.’
From the moment she came to him—those clear sky-blue eyes shining with warmth—the wheels of fate had already begun to turn.
Her eyes seemed to see right through him, and they struck his heart deeply.
Hereis fell for Selena so hard that he even broke off his engagement with her sister.
He was completely drawn to her.
It was the beginning of the North’s legendary “first love.”
‘This might sound crazy, but… I think I fell for you the moment I saw you.’
‘…’
‘I’ve ended my engagement with your sister. So please, don’t stop me from coming closer to you.’
It felt natural.
Winter could never defeat Spring.
Winter could only love Spring.
The warmth, the kindness, the colors of spring—Winter couldn’t help but fall completely in love.
Some called it the law of nature.
Others… called it fate.
Hereis decided he would make that shining spring morning truly belong to the North.
Before he knew it, Selena had become everything to him—his life itself.
‘I want to have children who look like you and me. Just three.’
But for someone as delicate as Selena, having children in the cold North wasn’t easy.
Even so, she didn’t give up. She wanted a daughter.
When she finally gave birth to a baby girl who looked just like her, she was overjoyed.
‘See, Hereis! Decatos must’ve granted my wish!’
‘You made a wish to Decatos? I told you not to pray to that god…’
Decatos—one of the empire’s gods—was the god of death, the tenth god.
Selena had said her family had always followed Decatos. She made wishes to him whenever she truly wanted something.
Hereis had always felt uneasy about this god of death, but he never stopped his lovely wife.
He couldn’t.
‘He granted my wish, didn’t he? Let’s name her Eleanor. It sounds like a song.’
Selena was so happy—her wish for a family had come true.
And Hereis… he was happy too.
He thought he had everything.
‘Selena… Please, don’t leave me. No… please! No!’
So when she left him, Hereis felt a loss too deep for words.
He wanted to follow her.
He couldn’t imagine life without her.
That cold winter night, he walked out of the Duke’s house.
Outside, a snowstorm raged. The world turned white as if to wrap him gently.
Slowly, slowly…
As he reached the moment where he no longer breathed—
‘Father…’
‘Ah… father.’
‘Hic… sob… Father…’
If only he hadn’t heard the voices of his children crying.
If only she hadn’t left so much behind.
Someone had to take care of it all. Maybe it had to be him.
So, he kept on living.
He forgot how to breathe.
He buried himself in duties, in tasks—anything to distract him.
As if that could ease the suffocating pain.
‘Ah… Father. Today’s my birthday…’
When he saw young Eleanor, who looked just like Selena, it all came back.
The day she died.
Her cold body.
So he turned away.
He couldn’t face the child.
He was afraid he might hurt her—lash out, like a wounded beast that bites even its own.
Everyone had been like that back then.
Shocked by losing Selena, they avoided the child who looked like her—
even though they all knew it wasn’t her fault.
The human heart is so weak.
Hereis ran further away.
He begged the emperor to send him to war.
He guarded the North and hunted monsters.
Even though the North had simply returned to what it used to be—
It felt unfamiliar, wrong… without her.
He couldn’t go back to Valentine.
He never tried to understand the child.
He didn’t know what she went through.
‘You’ve hated me all this time, haven’t you? Even now… you can’t forgive me.’
What kind of expression did she have when she said that?
What kind of eyes?
Hereis regretted everything.
Even though it was too late.
They had come too far.
She had let go of her emotions. But he never could.
In the end, he was nothing but a sinner to her.
Bang!
The door slammed open. Rachel was dragged out by knights.
“By the Duke’s order, as of this moment, we strip you of the title ‘Duchess of Valentine.’ You will face judgment simply as ‘Rachel.’ Take her away!”
They didn’t treat her like a noble. They treated her like a criminal.
“Let me go! I have to speak with the Duke! This is wrong!”
“Give up, Mother. Things won’t go your way anymore.”
Alex stood in front of the struggling Rachel.
He looked exhausted—he’d probably been questioned all night.
“Alex? How… how could you!”
She realized—he had betrayed her.
“You fool! If you had stayed quiet, I would’ve given you everything! Why do you hate me so much?! Everything I did… it was for you!”
Alex covered his ears.
That same line—for your sake—he was sick of hearing it.
Rachel never did anything for him.
Everything had always been for herself, her ideals.
She was an incredibly selfish woman.
“Are you going to betray your mother? How could you!”
“……You were the one who abandoned us first.”
“Is it because of Catherine? I’ll handle her—I’ll help you!”
Alex looked at her desperate expression and thought:
If only she hadn’t tried to abandon that child.
If only she hadn’t used that child’s life to threaten him.
If she had even slightly loved the child—loved them—
Maybe they would’ve stayed by her side.
‘Choose. Whether or not you’ll keep that girl with you—it’s your choice. But little girls are such a burden, you know.’
That cold winter.
He had to make a choice.
They were young.
They wanted to live.
They longed for love.
‘I want a family, Alex.’
So he followed her—for Catherine.
“You were planning to throw her away from the start. You only kept her alive to keep me close. Did you think I didn’t know?”
But that decision had trapped them both.
Catherine had wanted a family. She was starving for love.
Rachel turned her into a weakness—a burden of guilt—so Alex couldn’t run, couldn’t turn away.
‘If something happens to her, it’ll all be your fault.’
‘…What?’
‘Depending on what you do, she could get what she wants… or be abandoned.’
“She’s just a child! And you… you betrayed me for her?!”
“Because she’s family.”
“Family? Hah! Still clinging to your little ‘family game’? Foolish boy.”
“It’s not a game. She’s family. So no… I don’t think I’ll ever graduate from it.”
Rachel had thrown them away.
Alex couldn’t.
That was the only difference.
Catherine was his one and only family.
“Francis ruined you.”
“You’re a big reason I became this way too, Rachel.”
“……”
And just like that winter,
He made his choice.
Not her.
But the child.
