Chapter 35
Meeting Francis was the biggest escape for Alex.
“Alex? Where do you keep going these days?”
Rachel, his mother, would sometimes get suspicious, but young Alex always made sure to hide the truth—that he was meeting his father.
“J-just over to the reed field! They’re giving out food there.”
Maybe it was instinct.
Alex had a strong feeling that if he told his mom about Francis, he’d never be allowed to see him again.
“Awex! Where are you going?”
“Shh! I told you to call me ‘big brother’ or ‘brother’!”
“Haha! You’re just Awex! Why should I call you anything else?”
“Hey, you little—!”
Catherine, his little sister, often asked where he was going and begged him not to leave her alone.
But Alex couldn’t stop meeting Francis, no matter what.
“Wah! Awex! Don’t go! Where are you going?! Waaaah!”
“Catherine, just stay home! I’ll be back soon, promise!”
Was it because there was no man in the house?
Or maybe it was simply because Francis was his father?
Alex always felt truly free when he was with Francis.
“Whoa! What’s got you running like that?”
“…Francis!”
His bright platinum hair and blue eyes shone as he smiled gently at Alex.
With a kind face that felt like it would always stay, Francis ruffled Alex’s hair playfully.
“What should we do today?”
“Let’s play with the puppy!”
“You be the owner, and I’ll be the dog! Here, take the leash!”
“Son… I don’t want to do this. This is a bit much…”
“Come on, come on! Walk me, Francis! Like I’m a puppy! Woof woof!”
To Alex, Francis was a friend, a father, and a secret all in one.
He thought Francis would always be there.
But one day, he just stopped coming.
Was it when he was 7? Or the end of 6? He couldn’t quite remember.
Still, even after 3 years, Alex waited.
Whether it rained, snowed, or the wind blew.
He always returned to the reed field where they first met—this time holding Catherine’s hand tightly.
“Alex, who are you always waiting for?”
Catherine, now speaking more clearly, asked.
She was curious about the person her brother always waited for.
Alex just smiled. She still refused to call him “brother” even though they were only a year apart.
“…Someone I miss.”
“A friend?”
She looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes.
After a long pause, he finally answered.
“…Yeah. A friend.”
“Can’t I meet your friend too? I want a friend.”
“But they’re my friends. Why would I introduce them to you?”
“Wah! Let me meet them! You big dumb jellyfish! Sea slug! Baldie!”
“Hey!”
Catherine was such a crybaby at 8.
She’d ask weird questions, throw tantrums, and be moody.
But with her pretty little face, it was hard to stay mad—just a bit annoying.
“Sigh… Okay. Someday. I’ll introduce you.”
Happy with his answer, Catherine grabbed his hand again.
“Alex, I’m cold. Let’s go home.”
“Yeah.”
“Yo! Long time no see, son!”
“Francis!”
Just before Alex turned 10, Francis finally returned.
He looked the same—easygoing and smiling like a carefree traveler.
Alex didn’t ask where he’d been.
They both knew such questions didn’t matter.
“Hey… Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Do you… have a little sibling?”
After a long pause, Francis asked.
Alex realized he’d never told Francis about Catherine.
“…Didn’t I mention? I have a little sister. But wait… how did you know?”
“I see.”
Francis nodded like something made sense to him.
“It’s not Caroline, is it? That woman wouldn’t… no, she wouldn’t.”
“Catherine.”
“Of course… I guess my opinion didn’t matter in the end.”
“But how did you know? Her name was Caroline at first. Mom changed it later.”
“…”
“Caroline means ‘blessing,’ you know? I don’t know why she changed it, though.”
Suddenly, Francis’s face twisted with pain.
For the first time, his usual smile disappeared.
He looked like someone drowning in regret—his blue eyes trembling like the sea.
“I see…”
His voice was dry and brittle.
Alex had a strange feeling—like Francis was crying.
Even if no tears fell, his expression said it all.
After that, Francis started asking about Catherine more often.
What she liked, how old she was, what she looked like.
All things he could find out by meeting her.
But he never did.
“Why don’t you go see her? If you miss her, just visit. Like I do.”
One day, Alex asked.
Francis answered,
“Because… I don’t deserve to see her.”
His face turned dark.
Alex didn’t understand adult stuff—but still, it felt like too much.
“I get to see you, but you don’t get to see her? That’s dumb.”
“Haha. Your case is different.”
“How so?”
“I lied to your mom. Rachel.”
“You lied to her?”
Francis smiled sadly.
“I ran away from my responsibilities. I didn’t want to be tied down.”
He rubbed Alex’s head roughly and said,
“You’re her big brother. You have to protect your sister, Alex.”
It was the first real favor Francis ever asked.
“Seems your father passed away.”
When Alex turned 10, Rachel finally spoke of Francis.
It was the news of his death.
“I’m guessing you’ve been sneaking around seeing him. I hope he didn’t fill your head with nonsense.”
She’d known all along.
Her cold gaze made it clear—there would be no more escapes.
“That man was irresponsible. Forget him. He was a fool.”
“H-how did he… die?”
Alex barely got the words out.
He couldn’t believe it. Just two weeks ago, they were laughing together.
“He was always weak. Sick. You just didn’t know.”
Alex remembered—how Francis’s face would sometimes turn pale and sickly.
He always thought it was just exhaustion.
Francis had never shown pain. He always smiled, joked, and seemed so free.
“I bet he acted like some noble wanderer around you. But he was just a liar. A weak man who couldn’t keep a promise.”
Rachel said he died from a long illness.
“But… he said… he said he’d be back next week… he promised…”
“Oh, Alex. You poor boy. That was a lie. He lied to you, like always. He was never going to come back.”
And just like that, all the memories of Francis faded into something only Alex remembered.
A story no one else knew—or cared about.
