5.
Was it because of the commotion Derian caused?
I had a dream from my childhood.
[Why did you do it?]
The Emperor often held tea times with the Empresses and their children.
Moments when the royal family gathered like that were rare unless for such occasions.
It was during one of those tea times that I approached Derian first.
[Neroli.]
[Why did you kill Coco?]
Derian, whose eyes had lit up at my voice, stiffened, then clicked his tongue harshly.
He stuffed his hands into his pockets and muttered sullenly.
[Tch. I wondered why you suddenly talked to me. Is it just because of that stupid cat?]
Coco wasn’t just a cat. Coco was my child.
Cute, lovely Coco.
He died after being hit by an arrow Derian shot.
[Answer me. Why did you kill him?]
Normally, I deliberately avoided Derian because he always annoyed me. But this time, I couldn’t back down.
Even if Coco’s death was framed as a childish accident, I knew.
I knew that bastard had killed my cat on purpose.
When I stared silently at him, Derian smirked.
[Well, now I know for sure. This is what it takes for you to come to me.]
[What?]
[So why did you keep ignoring me?]
Derian took a step closer.
[If you had just listened to me from the start, it wouldn’t have come to this.]
He pulled a hand from his pocket and started counting on his fingers.
[Let’s see. What do you treasure these days? That new playmate-slash-maid? Your little sibling? Oh.]
Young Derian’s red eyes gleamed strangely.
[Or is it your mother, perhaps?]
That childish provocation to grab my attention—sadly—worked.
Because I completely snapped back then.
Smack—!
A sharp hitting sound rang out in the garden.
[Hey! Are you crazy?!]
Derian cried out in shock.
I didn’t stop. I swung my fists with all my might.
Smack! Smack!
Each hit made my face sting more, and I tasted blood at the corner of my lips.
[Have you lost your mind?!]
Derian quickly grabbed my hands and pulled me back.
[Why are you hitting yourself?! Just hit me instead!]
It was right then—
I burst out crying, loud enough for the palace to shake.
[Waaaaah!]
[Wh-what the hell! If you were going to cry like this, why—?!]
[What’s all this commotion?]
The Emperor and the Empresses, who were chatting at a table in the distance, hurried over.
Especially my mother, who had been seated beside the Emperor, turned pale the moment she saw my disheveled state and rushed over.
[Oh my God, Neroli!]
Seeing her like that, I cried even louder—on purpose.
[Waaaah! Derian! Derian hit me!]
The dream ended there, but the past didn’t.
What happened afterward played out exactly as I’d expected.
My mother, crying, confronted the First Empress, Derian’s mother.
—He already killed the cat Neroli raised, and now he’s laid hands on her directly? How can this be tolerated?!
The First Empress, flustered, urged her son to explain, but that bastard was too focused on my injury.
—Why the face of all places?! It mustn’t leave a scar! Got it?!
That was the last thing he said before he was dragged out.
Face red with shame, the First Empress led her son away.
My mother gently stroked my swollen cheek and bleeding lip and pleaded with the Emperor.
—Derian has never left Neroli alone. Your Majesty, please protect her.
—Hmm. This time, it truly went too far. Even if he’s a Lornord, he knows how easily a child can scar. To strike so recklessly—fine. From now on, Derian is banned from entering Neroli’s palace.
With my face buried in my mother’s embrace, I let out a sigh of relief.
What pleased me more than driving Derian away was that I’d cut off his access to my mother.
‘After that, I only saw Derian alone a few more times before I reached adulthood.’
“Welcome, Princess Neroli.”
A maid’s voice calling me pulled me from my thoughts.
I smiled brightly.
“Good morning, everyone. I stopped by to collect the rest of my mother’s books that I didn’t have a chance to earlier.”
As planned, I came to the Fourth Empress’s palace first thing this morning.
After collecting the “original story” here, I was going to visit the Emperor right away.
“Shall we head to the study?”
I had already gone through my mother’s bedroom once before when I retrieved her diary.
Since I hadn’t found it then, the original manuscript was most likely in the study.
I naturally made my way toward the study, but the head maid of the Fourth Empress’s palace bowed deeply and spoke.
“Y-yes, Princess Neroli. Actually…”
“Is something wrong?”
“Yesterday, all of Her Highness’s belongings were taken away.”
“…Without my permission?”
“A group suddenly arrived and insisted they were instructed to collect everything…”
“Who sent them?”
At my now cold and low voice, the maid visibly panicked and answered even more politely.
“It was the Emperor’s… the Emperor’s men. He ordered everything belonging to the Fourth Empress to be collected…”
Ah.
Of course. There’s no way that man would just sit still about my mother’s things.
Only after confirming with my own eyes that her study had been emptied did I smile brightly.
“Looks like I’ll need to see His Majesty earlier than planned.”
My carriage went straight to the central palace, where the Emperor resided.
“Neroli, the tea you brew always smells wonderful.”
At his compliment, I smiled sweetly.
“I carefully selected the leaves Your Majesty likes best! I was so excited to serve it, I came a bit early!”
“Yes, yes, how thoughtful. Speaking of which… I heard you were in the greenhouse all day yesterday?”
To that question, I paused deliberately before answering.
“Yes, Your Majesty. Tending to the flowers seemed to ease the sorrow.”
The Emperor placed the teacup down on the table with a sigh.
“I suppose Tilia’s absence is just as hard on you. It is for me, too.”
‘How shameless of you to bring her up first.’
You’re the one who covered up her death as suicide.
Anger rose in me, but I, too, was an expert at acting—no less than the Emperor.
Once again, tears welled up in my eyes instantly, and I dabbed them away with a handkerchief.
“I—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t behave like this in front of Your Majesty…”
“It’s fine, Neroli. It’s not easy to process such grief.”
He gently patted my back.
As if drawing courage from his touch, I began to speak softly.
“Actually… Derian visited me yesterday.”
“Derian?”
“Yes. We haven’t seen each other in years because he was in the conflict zones. I thought maybe we could reconnect, but…”
“That foolish boy—did he harass you again?”
I couldn’t bring myself to answer, only wiping away more tears.
Seeing this, the Emperor clicked his tongue.
“Tch. Derian’s always been obsessed with you since childhood.”
“Your Majesty, I… I was wondering…”
With my eyes still brimming with tears, I looked up at him.
“Could you please order that Derian not be allowed to enter my palace without permission?”
“Hmm… I suppose I could. Is it really that distressing to see him?”
To be precise, meeting Derian wasn’t so much painful as it was annoying and exhausting.
‘Especially now, when I’m already on edge.’
So even if it was shameful, borrowing the Emperor’s authority was the most efficient solution.
—I won’t fall for the same trick twice.
Suddenly, I remembered what Derian had said before he left yesterday.
I smirked quietly.
‘And if you don’t, what are you going to do about it?’
“Honestly… it’s a bit much. Am I overreacting?”
“No. Derian is inherently rough. For someone as gentle as you, it’s overwhelming. Keeping some distance sounds wise. I’ll do as you ask.”
“Thank you, Your Majesty!”
I gave a small smile with tear-streaked eyes.
The Emperor now gently stroked my hair.
Like a father who truly cared.
Each time his hand brushed over my head, countless thoughts flashed through my mind.
‘How long does he plan to keep up this ridiculous act?’
Honestly, I’d braced myself to hear something when I met him today.
But the Emperor treated me the same as always.
And that unsettled me even more.
‘Is he waiting for the right time to strike?’
And then…
‘Why did he so easily dismiss Mother’s death?’
My mother’s real cause of death was poisoning.
Through Modwey, I had confirmed exactly what poison she drank.
A decoction of Cabenia flower and Heorin stalks, turned into a vapor.
It was a deadly, odorless, tasteless poison, long obsolete—so old even spirits didn’t recognize it at first.
‘There’s no way Mother, who knew nothing of pharmacology, would’ve known about that poison.’
If she had truly intended to end her life, she would have used something much more accessible.
There’s no way the Emperor didn’t come to the same conclusion I did.
‘Yet he closed the case without a proper investigation…’
With his intelligence network, he could’ve easily found out what she consumed.
‘So why didn’t he?’
He longed for her. He wanted her so desperately. So then why?
