Chapter 3. A Terrible Marriage
Ahntrus Cloveus was the definition of a typical nobleman.
He was quiet, stiff, and far from being kind or affectionate.
To this day, I still don’t know why Ahntrus agreed to marry me.
But I had a very clear reason.
As someone who had almost no experience in the real world — a ghost of sorts — I fell in love with him at first sight when he visited Nerd Brown.
His cold demeanor looked like maturity to me, and his chilly gaze seemed charming.
He had said to me,
“I will remain faithful during our marriage, my lady.”
Why did I take that as a declaration of love?
As soon as I heard those words, it felt like light shone from behind him and I could hear trumpets playing.
Young and naïve, I became completely infatuated and managed to marry him.
But for a clueless 20-year-old lady like me, marriage was nothing short of hell.
For the next four years after the wedding, I struggled like crazy.
If it weren’t for Julia, I might have collapsed long ago.
Not long after we married, I became pregnant with Ahntrus’s child.
If that hadn’t happened, I probably would’ve been grilled like a sunflower seed by the ladies of the Cloveus family.
Anyway, I safely gave birth to the precious heir of the Cloveus family.
That child — Julia — became the light and blessing of my life.
* * *
I once worried I might’ve taught the innocent princess something bad, but Ailish seemed amused.
So I cleared my throat and said seriously,
“That’s a very, very bad word. It means something really awful.”
[A curse word, then?]
Ailish burst out laughing.
[The lady of Nerd Brown is much more interesting than I thought.]
She repeated the curse I had muttered.
[So, your marriage… it wasn’t smooth? Was it that bad?]
“…Well.”
All the emotions that tormented me during that time came flooding back.
As I remembered those days, I opened my mouth and said,
“It was about a week into our marriage.”
Despite the misery that marriage brought, Julia’s birth helped me endure it.
“Marriage, huh…”
If I had to summarize all my feelings into one sentence:
“It was crap.”
[What?]
I was raised by an old maid from Nerd Brown, and thanks to her, I had quite a sharp tongue.
I used to be more careful in the Cloveus household because there were many elders around, but now, I didn’t have to hold back.
After saying it out loud, I felt strangely refreshed.
But there’s no way a princess raised inside the palace would understand that word.
Ailish moved her lips.
[Crap? That’s a new word for me. What does it mean?]
Oh no. She heard it properly.
* * *
That was when Luisha Ribos came into the picture.
Luisha was a very distant relative of the Cloveus family.
She was the same age as me and came to visit just one week after our wedding.
“Nice to meet you, Elia.”
Something felt off immediately.
I didn’t know what her position was in the Cloveus family, but skipping honorifics without my permission?
Even if I was an unrefined ghost from Nerd Brown, that didn’t sit right with me.
The maids at Nerd Brown had drilled manners into me.
They always said proper greetings could get you a meal, and stressed it over and over.
If those maids had seen this scene, they might have called Luisha a disrespectful brat who wouldn’t even earn a bowl of soup.
I’m not the type to stay quiet when something bothers me, so I was just about to say something when…
My mother-in-law — the Duchess — came down alone to the first floor.
“Oh, Luisha!”
“Aunt!”
Aunt?
I had heard they were only very distantly related, but the Duchess welcomed her with a bright smile.
“Why are you only visiting now? We sent you an invitation to the wedding. It was a grand event hosted by His Majesty himself.”
“I was too upset to come, so I just couldn’t.”
…Seriously? What kind of baby-talk was that?
I heard she was the same age as me, but from her behavior, she seemed five years younger.
The Duchess, who was always strict with me, had a gentle smile on her face in front of Luisha.
She looked as soft as warm soup.
Then she turned to me and said,
“Treat her like a little sister. She’s very close to Ahntrus.”
Luisha smiled sweetly at me.
That was when I knew.
She was going to be a huge pain in my life.
And I was right.
* * *
“Ahn, I heard Nerd Brown had a great harvest of grapes this year. I was thinking of going to check it out. Would that be okay?”
Nerd Brown was known for producing apples and grapes, which were used to make wine — the foundation of the family’s wealth.
Even now, when we no longer needed to rely on wine-making, the family kept the tradition alive.
As the daughter of the Nerd Brown marquis, it was my responsibility to oversee that.
Ahntrus looked at me while sipping his tea.
“…If possible, I’d like you to come with me. We’re married now, so I want you to understand what I do and maybe help me when needed.”
“I…”
He was about to say something when—
Clink!
“Ah!”
—An uninvited guest interrupted.
Luisha let out a soft laugh, completely different from the scream she had just made.
But I saw it clearly —
She had dropped her teacup on purpose.
What the…?
The hot tea spilled on her dress and stockings.
Ahntrus, who was just about to answer me, turned toward Luisha.
“Ahn!”
She called his name loudly, as if it wasn’t something special between just the two of us.
Then, acting as if it was natural, she demanded:
“I think I burned my leg. I can’t stand up… Ahn, take me to my room.”
Ahntrus sighed deeply as he looked at the tearful Luisha.
But it wasn’t a sigh of frustration or annoyance.
“Why are you still so careless?”
His voice was gentle, full of concern.
I had never heard him speak to me like that — not even once.
I pressed my lips together in silence.
Ahntrus helped Luisha up.
Even though his action seemed neutral, Luisha clung to him in a sticky, overly affectionate way.
I could tell what she was doing.
She was doing it on purpose, just to show me.
And Ahntrus… looked like he was going to carry her all the way to her bedroom.
Before leaving the tea room, Luisha ordered me like a servant.
“Elia, go call the doctor. If I don’t get treatment soon, it might leave a scar.”
Honestly, it didn’t even seem that bad.
I let out a small scoff.
“Hurry.”
Her sharp voice rushed me — and then they both left the room.
…What was that just now?
Frustrated, I gulped down the rest of the tea from my cup.
So much for his promise of loyalty — it wasn’t just for me.
Apparently, that loyalty extended to Luisha too, like she was some precious little sister.
Damn it.
Our conversation about Nerd Brown — the one we were having just a minute ago — was completely forgotten.
If that was her goal, then she’d succeeded perfectly.
“Dorona.”
“Yes, my lady.”
“Tell me everything you know about Luisha.”
I couldn’t let this continue without knowing anything about her.
My maid, Dorona, frowned deeply.
“Miss Luisha is very close with His Grace. She’s always said since she was young that she would marry him someday.”
Judging by her tone, it was clear Dorona didn’t like Luisha much.
“She’s extremely rude to the Cloveus household staff. She treats the servants harshly. But truthfully, she’s just a lady from the unrelated Count Ribos family. That’s why none of the servants speak kindly of her.”
“And yet?”
“The Duchess adores her, and His Grace treats her like his real sister.”
Ah.
So she acts like that because the Duchess and Ahntrus are on her side.
And she even had her eyes on the position of Duchess — the lady of the house.
But I took that spot instead.
No wonder she couldn’t stand me.
I laughed bitterly.
The marriage I had thought would be a happy one was already falling apart from the beginning.
Just as expected, Luisha made excuse after excuse to stay at the Cloveus estate.
Even Count Ribos had the nerve to send a letter asking us to take care of her until she got married.
The Duchess handed over full responsibility to me, saying I should manage Luisha’s marriage plans.
But what did I get from Luisha?
“I don’t want anyone but Ahn! If it’s not someone like Ahn, I’ll never get married!”
She kept saying childish, frustrating things that only made me more stressed.
And not once — not even once — did the Duchess or Ahntrus ever take my side completely.
To them, Luisha was family.
I was just an outsider who came in later.
Even on the day I nearly lost my baby because of Luisha.
* * *
Some things, you only understand after experiencing them yourself.
Trying to become a part of another family as an outsider is never easy.
[You lost your baby?]
“I… I don’t want to talk about that.”
[Understandable. That Luisha girl sounds truly awful. But surely… there must’ve been something good too? Tell me about that.]
Yes, there was one good thing.
Julia.
My treasure. My daughter. Julia.
Of course, with so many hands in the Cloveus family, she wouldn’t be left uncared for…
But a mother’s heart can’t help but worry.
And the thought that I might never see her again—
That broke my heart.
It felt like my chest was being stabbed just thinking about her.
I clenched the blanket tightly and suddenly couldn’t breathe.
“…I have a daughter.”
[What’s her name? Your daughter, I mean.]
“Julia… Julia Cloveus.”
[That’s a beautiful name.]
Ailish fell silent after that.
Honestly, since I opened my eyes in this body, there’s been only one thought in my mind.
Even while I was being tossed around in confusion.
“If my body is still alive… I want to return to it.”
Ailish glanced at me.
[You’ve been calm until now, but the moment your daughter came up, you started to shake. Elia, are you sure you want to return to your body — or is it your daughter you truly want to return to?]
She was right.
More than the fear of dying, what shook me the most was Julia.
I wanted to go back to her. That desire was stronger than anything else.
“Yes, Your Highness. I want to return to my daughter. She’s waiting for me.”
Ailish gave me a strange look.
The truth is, if my soul is here, it probably means my real body is already dead.
But still, my heart wouldn’t settle.
If there was even a tiny chance I could return…
They say human desire never ends.
Just a short while ago, I thought waking up in this new body was a blessing from the gods.
But now—
All I could do was let out a bitter sigh.
[You do realize your body is probably already gone, right?]
Ailish gave me a realistic reminder.
“I know. I do.”
[Then it’s better to think about what you can do from here.]
Something possible?
I tilted my head in confusion.
Then, Ailish gave me a mischievous smile.
