Chapter 53
Richard momentarily stopped breathing.
It was as if he couldn’t breathe after Lillietta said she felt suffocated.
Then, as though exhaling the breath he had been holding, he began to speak in a rush.
“Hey, why are you apologizing? What do you have to be sorry for? Lili, you didn’t do anything wrong. Why are you apologizing like you did something terrible?”
“Then what about you? What did you do that’s so wrong? A younger sibling waking up her brother to say she had a nightmare—and the brother just said it was a dream and went back to sleep. That’s all. How is that such a big sin that you ruined your whole life over it?”
“No, it’s different! That really was a sin. Because of me, you—”
“I’m not saying you’re completely innocent! Just… just that it wasn’t that big of a mistake. It was the kind of thing you apologize for and move on from. That’s all. And I’m the one who was directly affected—I’m the one saying this…”
“…Lili.”
“You already apologized to me. You were truly sorry and you reflected on it. You’ve been regretting and punishing yourself for years. So shouldn’t that be enough? Shouldn’t it be okay to live well after that? To sometimes miss me but still move forward with your life? That’s okay. That should be okay… so don’t act like it isn’t.”
Lillietta whispered, resting her cheek against his hand, her voice laced with tears.
“Don’t make me the reason for your unhappiness.”
“…!”
“Don’t make me feel guilty…”
Richard stared at her as if he’d been struck in the head.
Lillietta began to sob quietly. Tears she had held back—tears she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding in—now flowed silently.
Richard slowly pulled her into an embrace.
At first it was a gentle hug. Then he pulled back slightly to look at her face, carefully brushing away her falling tears with the pad of his thumb. He took a breath, as if something had caught in his throat, and then hugged her tightly again.
“I’m sorry, Lili.”
“……”
“I’m your big brother, but I didn’t understand you at all… You came back to me alive, miraculously… and even then, all I did was burden you with my pain.”
“……”
“I’m such a pathetic, useless brother, aren’t I.”
“……”
“It’s not your fault. I didn’t turn out like this because of you, Lili.”
“……”
“It’s my fault. Not just that night—I mean, yes, I made mistakes that night too—but I kept making mistakes afterward. I see that now… I finally understand.”
“……”
“I won’t be like this anymore. I’ll try to get better. I’ll try to be happy…”
“……”
“So don’t cry anymore, okay?”
He soothed her through his own tears.
Lillietta, burying her tears into his shoulder, murmured,
“Then… don’t call yourself trash anymore.”
“I won’t.”
“Do rehab with me. Get stronger and healthier than ever before.”
“Yeah. I’ll work hard. I’ll do everything you ask.”
“Return to the Paladin Order too.”
“I’ll go back for sure.”
“You kept saying it was your dream, even sang about it like a lullaby. You read me stories about Saint Nicholas until I got sick of them. So how could you throw away a dream you worked so hard for like that…?”
“You’re right. I told you about that dream the most. Every day, like a song…”
Still holding her in his arms, Richard smiled and murmured,
“I won’t throw anything away anymore.”
Thank you.
Lillietta quietly lifted her arms and embraced her family in return.
April 24, 1770.
The Dracanis River flowing through the capital of Lamcard was filled with cherry blossoms in full bloom and countless boats.
The boats came in all shapes and sizes—some with sails emblazoned with family crests, some with crests painted on their sides, and some adorned with banners bearing embroidered insignias. All proudly displayed their house affiliations and flaunted their prestige.
Wealthy noble houses launched yachts that could carry ten or more people, while more modest families used boats with covered roofs or small barges.
Among these vessels, one stood out: the grand imperial ship.
Its black hull was decorated with golden embellishments and bore sails painted with a black dragon. Towering above all others, it exuded the majesty of an emperor commanding a fleet.
Nearby, a lavishly adorned barge followed, its flat deck holding a full orchestra playing melodies suited for a spring day.
The Laskail family’s vessel was a large cream-colored yacht, capable of carrying 30 people—its shade reminiscent of the birch castle on their estate. The sail bore their family crest, and at the bow stood a statue of a fairy holding a jeweled bouquet.
Among the Laskails’ fleet were even larger ships capable of hosting parties on board, but only the Imperial family could navigate such vessels within the narrow river of the capital.
For noble families, the current yacht size was the practical maximum allowed on the Dracanis River.
Only three noble houses had yachts of this size: Laskail, Duyrevogh, and Adikle.
Hannah, tray in hand, walked across the deck and happened to glance over the railing. Below, the elaborately decorated ships with their colorful insignias were visible.
It was a scene that plainly reflected the hierarchy of noble status. Normally, she would have felt a surge of pride in the family she served, in her lady’s prestige—but not today.
…Why has he changed so suddenly?
Instead of the magnificent view, Hannah’s mind was consumed by the image of a handsome new footman with golden-brown hair and steel-blue eyes.
Ethan’s attitude toward her had changed recently.
He used to hover around her, refusing to leave her alone, and now he seemed oddly distant.
When they met, he was still kind and polite, but he no longer clung to her like before.
Hannah, now used to his warm attention, felt uneasy.
She replayed everything in her head, wondering if she had somehow offended him, but found nothing.
It probably started after the lady’s debutante ball…
Now that she thought about it, the crown prince had also acted strangely that day. He touched her forehead, saying he needed to “check something,” but never followed up. She had no idea what he was trying to confirm…
Wait—could Ethan be keeping his distance because he thinks something happened between me and the crown prince?
It seemed like a ridiculous thought, but she couldn’t think of any other explanation.
Hannah just wanted to clear up whatever misunderstanding there might be and go back to how things were before.
Yet she hadn’t realized she had already developed deeper feelings for Ethan.
With a faint sigh, she resumed walking.
At the rear of the ship, under an ornate pergola, the Laskail siblings sat together. She placed a tray of fruit in front of them.
“Ah, thank you, Hannah,” Lillietta said, turning to her with a soft smile.
That smile, from the lady Hannah had helped dress today, instantly lifted her mood.
Truly a sight for sore eyes…
Today, Lillietta wore a flowing, sheer white gown adorned with golden stalks of wheat, looking like the angel of abundance—graceful and radiant.
Our lady is the best.
Not just in beauty, but as a master as well.
Even though Hannah had committed a grave offense, her lady had forgiven her and trusted her. She had even bowed her head to protect a mere maid.
And now, just for doing her job, she was being thanked with a smile.
And she’s so cool when she uses guns…
Hannah recalled the moment Lillietta had wielded her magic firearm. Naturally, she also remembered the Duyrevogh heiress begging to learn the technique.
…I want to learn it too.
The desire surfaced before she could stop it, and she quickly scolded herself for being presumptuous.
A mere maid shouldn’t have such ambitions. I should focus on serving the lady better.
Resolving her thoughts, Hannah stepped away.
Lillietta, picking up a grape, sighed softly without realizing.
Leonhardt, beside her, smiled gently.
“Bored?”
“A little. Is this what boating’s usually like?”
“For the most part, yes. There’s not much to do except enjoy the view.”
“No wonder Richie didn’t come.”
Richard had opted out to focus on his training.
Their parents had planned to attend, but the duchess had collapsed from overexertion while preparing for Lillietta’s debut.
With Leonhardt more than capable of representing the family, it was an easy decision for them to rest.
