#117. A Way Back Again
Before she could even properly come to terms with the situation, days rushed by in a blur of busyness.
Raoul, delighted to have Erze living with him in the imperial palace, spent his days accompanying her here and there. Meanwhile, nearly all of the recent workload fell squarely on Velia’s shoulders.
In one sense, she thought it was a good opportunity.
While Raoul was distracted, she could take precautions to keep him from coveting the Kingdom of Ronica.
But it turned out that Raoul’s watchful control over her every move had gone on far longer than she realized. It wasn’t even easy for Velia to send a single letter to Ronica.
One day, after hearing whispers of her attempt, Raoul confronted her without preamble.
“Seems like you had something you wanted to tell Ronica. What was it?”
“I just wanted to ask after my family. We haven’t been in contact much lately.”
Velia answered lightly, as though it were nothing important.
If she reacted any differently than before, Raoul would immediately become suspicious.
That was why even the most natural things required another round of explanation.
“Did you… happen to check the contents of the letter?”
“Yes, I did. I just found it curious—seeing you try to contact Ronica.”
“You didn’t come all this way simply to tell me that, did you? And reading someone else’s letter like that—it’s rather unpleasant.”
Her gaze turned cold before she realized it.
Raoul stepped closer, gently cupping her cheek as he whispered,
“Velia, just because I brought Erze here doesn’t mean I’ve neglected you.”
“There’s no need to make excuses to me.”
What on earth was there to like about such a man?
The moment Raoul brought Erze into the palace, she should have abandoned everything and searched for her own way to survive.
Now, having endured this same situation twice, all she could see were his flaws.
“Velia, I still love you.”
Would it feel satisfying to slap his face?
Velia turned her gaze away from his eyes as he whispered his love.
But if she wanted to keep corresponding with Ronica, she had to avoid arousing suspicion at all costs. A sudden change in her attitude would only make him assign people to spy on her.
As long as Ronica wasn’t yet in his grasp, Raoul couldn’t afford to cast her aside entirely. With that conviction, Velia forced her lips into a smile and looked up at him.
“…I love you too. That’s why it’s so difficult for me, having her here in the palace.”
She added a faintly hurt look, trying to mirror the foolishly devoted Velia he knew.
“But since you will be Emperor, I’ll try to understand. So please, leave me alone for now. I think I still need time to sort out my feelings.”
Raoul’s face brightened as he pulled her into his arms.
“Thank you. I’m always grateful to you.”
Velia gave a small nod against his chest.
I have no power yet. I must endure.
Repeating it to herself, she stilled her breath, suppressing the loathing that seethed inside, until he finally left—content that she hadn’t changed.
When he was gone, Velia rushed out of the Crown Prince’s palace, feeling unclean.
She walked quickly, the scenery whipping past her.
Before long, she found herself in the rear gardens of the Second Prince’s palace.
“…What?”
“Ah…”
There was already someone seated where Velia often sat. Khalid.
He was on the bench, staring blankly at the overgrown garden, as though it were all too familiar.
“Forgive me. I wouldn’t have come if I’d known you were here, Your Highness.”
“…It’s fine. I’ll leave the seat for you.”
Khalid shrugged, stood up, and casually brushed off his jacket before tapping the bench clean for her. Then he started past her.
“W-wait…!”
Before she knew it, Velia had grabbed his sleeve.
“Ah, I… I didn’t mean…”
“Do you have something to say to me?”
She had so much to say.
To ask him to smile at her kindly.
To tell him she missed him.
That being here without him was unbearable.
But that was meant for a different Khalid—the one she had known.
Her lips parted and closed a few times, but in the end, she released his sleeve.
“Hm.”
His cool gaze lingered on her.
Khalid stood silently for a long while, simply watching her.
Just when the weight of his stare grew too uncomfortable, he caught her hand and pulled her toward the bench.
“Looks like you need comfort. You chose the wrong person. I’m no good at that.”
“That’s not it…”
Velia couldn’t even find an excuse. Her eyes kept dropping to the ground.
Khalid sat down beside her with a thud.
“Still, I’ll stay here with you.”
Why was it—
—in that moment, he felt like the Khalid she had once known?
His brusque but gentle words made her eyes sting red.
“…Hhk… Hhhuu…”
Tears spilled down her cheeks.
Having him beside her loosened the knot of tension, and all at once, her tears burst forth.
What was she supposed to do now?
She couldn’t abandon the position of Crown Princess—not after marrying Raoul.
Her hands and feet were bound tight, leaving her little room to move.
And more than anything—
Khalid did not love her.
Everything she had built crumbled like a mirage, leaving her back at the start.
Loneliness cut through her, as though she had been left alone on a deserted island.
She cried for a long while, pouring out all the fear and pain.
“…Thank you.”
“Are you done crying?”
Khalid smirked faintly.
“At this rate, you won’t last long at his side.”
“You’re enduring it too, aren’t you, Your Highness?”
“….”
Khalid fell silent, lost in thought.
“Was that out of line?”
“My brother is my enemy in every moment. That means his consort—you—are also my enemy.”
He looked at her with a puzzled expression.
“So if I am enduring, it’s hardly good news for the brother you claim to love.”
“I know that. But…”
Velia bit down on her lip.
Raoul had no intention of giving up Ronica, nor any affection left for her.
If things went on like this, the Kingdom of Ronica would surely fall into danger.
For the sake of the best possible future, Raoul had to be defeated.
Even if it meant that she herself would die by Khalid’s hand.
Velia lifted her head.
Looking straight into Khalid’s eyes, she said,
“Please endure. Endure more, and keep enduring.”
Khalid’s eyes showed curiosity at her cryptic words. But Velia, tears still in her eyes, only gave a small smile and diverted the topic.
“Thank you for staying with me today. It truly comforted me.”
“…If so, I’m glad.”
The garden was a ruin, yet sitting beside Khalid and gazing at it, she felt a strange peace—as though it would be fine if time simply stopped here.
“Like this, it feels as if we’re secret friends no one knows about.”
Khalid didn’t answer.
Knowing his nature, had he disliked the word “friend,” he would have rejected it immediately. His silence was enough to make Velia smile as she stood.
“Let’s meet again.”
Yes. As friends, at least.
She could allow herself that much.
Feeling lighter thanks to Khalid, Velia returned to her chambers—only to find Erze humming happily as she nosed around the room.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Velia asked sharply.
But the reply came not from Erze, but from behind her.
“Don’t make such a fuss, Velia. She’s only looking around.”
“…Raoul.”
“I gave her permission. She said she was curious.”
Unbelievable.
“This is my room.”
“Yes. Your room.”
Velia pressed her temples, exasperated. Clearly, he didn’t understand.
“Which means I’d like you to leave my room.”
At that, Erze scampered over, fidgeting her fingers with an innocent look.
“I’m sorry. I just heard it was connected to Your Highness’s room and got curious… It’s all my fault! My silly curiosity… I’ll leave right away. Forgive me, Your Highness.”
She twisted the situation cleverly, making Velia seem like the unreasonable one for protesting. It was a familiar tactic.
Of course, Erze was at fault.
She had requested to enter the Crown Princess’s chambers herself. This entire situation was because of her. Yet she played the part of a good girl trying to smooth things over.
Her words were full of contradictions, but Raoul fell for them completely—just as always.
“Don’t apologize, Erze.”
“But I—”
“Velia, didn’t you promise not to be so petty?”
He cut Erze off, chiding Velia in a voice thick with irritation.
It had been only that morning she told him she would try to understand.
Velia couldn’t hold back anymore—not out of jealousy, but because of the sheer injustice.
“I said I would try to understand, not that I already did. Besides, isn’t it shameless to bring another woman into the palace so soon after marriage?”
Raoul brushed back his hair with a weary sigh.
“Ha… Don’t be so jealous.”
Jealous?
Velia let out a hollow laugh.
“Get out. I don’t want to talk anymore.”
The moment Erze slipped out hesitantly, Velia slammed the door shut.
She sank against it, releasing a stifled breath.
From outside, she could hear Raoul soothing Erze.
It was farcical.
Why couldn’t royalty divorce?
The thought of this life continuing forever made her chest tighten.
I miss you, Khalid…
Her longing rose up to her throat.
If only she could go back again…
“…Wait.”
Suddenly, Velia realized something.
She had traveled through time twice already.
The first was when she turned back time with magic. The second was when she returned again to before that regression.
But this time—there was no one who cast the spell.
Then how had she ended up here?
Perhaps—
If she uncovered that secret, she might be able to go back again.
