#116. Starting Again
Vellia sat up in bed and blankly looked around the room.
It was still the First Prince’s palace.
She let out a small sigh. She couldn’t bring herself to believe that this was reality.
“When I opened my eyes, I thought Khalid would be by my side…”
Maybe it was simply because she longed to see him so badly.
She thought she had glimpsed Khalid in her dream.
“Your Highness, you have a schedule this morning. You need to rise now.”
“…Alright.”
At the maid’s urging, Vellia dragged herself out of bed without energy.
Truthfully, it had been so long ago that she could hardly remember what exactly she had been doing around this time.
“Things feel a bit muddled today. Could you organize the schedule and explain it to me while I prepare?”
“Pardon? Ah—yes, of course.”
Though the maid looked puzzled, she bowed and stepped out.
By the time Vellia had slowly finished dressing, the maid returned with an organized list of the day’s schedule and handed it to her.
“…Tea time with the Empress? And checking the room where Erze will be staying? Ha… What a thoroughly foolish life I’ve lived.”
Vellia crumpled the paper tightly in her hand and tossed it to the floor before standing up.
“Thank you for delivering the schedule.”
At least the Kingdom of Ronica hadn’t yet been dragged into this.
And it seemed her relationship with the Empress was cordial enough.
Right after the wedding, Raul had brought Erze into the palace. Even after Vellia became Empress following the Emperor’s death, Erze continued to live there.
Raul was happy with Erze.
And Vellia… lived in hell.
Ha…
If only this were a dream. But waking to find herself still here meant she truly had returned to her former life.
It was a dreadful reality.
By the time the sun had begun to set, Vellia’s entire schedule was finally complete.
Inspecting the room where Erze would stay was the last thing she wanted to do, but since she had already given instructions in her past life, the room was in order.
“Not even an idiot would…”
“Pardon?”
“Nothing. Forget it.”
Startled by her muttered words, the maid froze in the middle of tidying up. Clicking her tongue, Vellia said:
“Just prepare it decently. A special guest is coming.”
“Ah…”
“This is fine. She’ll be more than satisfied.”
After giving the room only a cursory glance, Vellia walked out.
After all, Erze wouldn’t know the difference between expensive wood or a master craftsman’s handiwork. Anything that looked pretty would make her happy. Yet in the past, Vellia had filled the room only with the most luxurious items—out of pride.
Her chest tightened. Even the food she had eaten for lunch felt like it was rising in her throat.
“I need to take a walk.”
“Yes, I’ll prepare…”
“I’ll go alone. Don’t make a fuss.”
“But—”
“I’ll be right back.”
Leaving the flustered maid behind, Vellia strode out of the First Prince’s palace.
The moment she stepped outside, she felt like she could breathe again.
People passing by gave her curious glances—it was odd to see the First Princess Consort walking alone without attendants. But ignoring them, Vellia walked slowly across the central garden.
Khalid…
Without realizing it, she ended up in front of the Second Prince’s palace. She stood still for a long time, gazing toward the area where his chambers would be, before lowering her head.
Whether she wanted to admit it or not, she was the First Princess Consort here.
She was Raul’s wife. Shamelessly approaching Khalid was something she could not do.
And besides… even now, her feelings were not for this world’s Khalid, but for the man who had spent time with her, shared his heart with her, and loved her.
Vellia shook her head with a faint, bitter laugh, trying to steady her emotions. Then she turned to head back.
But after only a few steps, she stopped again.
…Still, maybe just a quick visit to the back garden would be fine?
Just a walk in the garden, nothing more.
She wasn’t going to meet Khalid. She only wanted to see that familiar place again.
The First Prince’s palace was filled with nothing but memories that made her skin crawl. Staying there made her feel suffocated.
Glancing around, she quickly slipped into the Second Prince’s back garden.
Her heart pounded as if she were committing a crime.
When she saw that the garden was deserted, she let out a sigh of relief.
But then, taking in the state of the garden, her heart sank again.
Ah…
It looked nothing like what she remembered.
Overgrown weeds, a fountain that had long since stopped flowing, no servants or maids passing through.
It seemed the garden, tucked behind the Second Prince’s palace, had been neglected for some time.
At first, she walked timidly, worried someone might see her. But after confirming it was truly deserted, she straightened her back and looked around more freely.
So this is where he lived…
She had heard a little of how Khalid was treated in the palace.
But seeing it with her own eyes felt strange.
Going deeper inside, she arrived at a place she had often visited.
A small bench tucked into a corner of the garden.
She used to sit there often, staring blankly at the garden while sorting out her thoughts.
Though the garden was in disrepair, the bench itself seemed intact.
Vellia sat lightly in her old spot, gazing at the familiar scene.
Even if weeds had overtaken it, it was still the same place.
It feels… nice.
A gentle breeze brushed past, and Vellia closed her eyes with a smile.
For just a moment, the crushing despair of her unbelievable reality eased.
The future seemed daunting, but for now, at least in this moment, her heart felt at peace.
Then—rustle—grass shifted, and an all-too-familiar voice spoke.
“What are you doing here?”
Vellia’s eyes snapped open. She turned toward the sound.
It was Khalid.
“For the First Princess Consort to sit here in another’s palace without permission… I’m speechless.”
“….”
“Why don’t you answer? Do you not understand what I’m saying?”
A crooked smirk tugged at his lips.
“I said get out.”
The cold, sharp voice was nothing like the one she remembered.
Vellia couldn’t speak.
Just having him fill her vision made her chest swell painfully. Her eyes burned, and tears threatened to fall.
Khalid…
His gaze was harsher, more detached than the Khalid she knew.
Gone was the warmth that had always looked at her with love.
Only now did she truly realize—
This was not her Khalid.
“Or what? Are you going to pretend you don’t know who I am?”
Vellia quickly shook her head. Releasing a trembling breath, she said softly:
“I apologize for entering the Second Prince’s garden without permission.”
“Why are you here? What could the esteemed Princess Consort possibly need from me?”
“It’s not that. I just… needed a place where there were no people.”
Khalid frowned as he looked at her trembling hands clenched tightly in her lap.
He had only told an uninvited intruder to leave, but her reaction made it feel like he was bullying someone powerless.
“Ah, that’s right. Didn’t my brother say he was bringing that woman into the palace?”
His voice dripped with ridicule.
“Not long ago they were flaunting it as if it were some grand love story. And now, the proud princess of Ronica, abandoned so quickly. How laughable.”
He watched her closely, as if curious how she would respond to such mockery.
“…It’s fine.”
“What?”
“I said, it’s fine. You don’t need to worry about me.”
Vellia rose to her feet.
Here, she was already Raul’s wife. That couldn’t be undone.
Becoming lovers again? That was nothing but an impossible dream now.
Meeting Khalid’s eyes with a bittersweet smile, she said:
“I won’t come here again. I’m sorry for disturbing your peace.”
The truth—that she could never again be with the Khalid she loved and who loved her back—
was devastating enough to make her want to collapse and cry.
But it was something she could never confess, nor expect comfort for.
She had no choice but to accept reality.
As she passed him to leave, a low, grudging voice came from behind.
“…Even if you come again, I won’t care. Do as you like.”
From the faint hesitation in his voice, Vellia sensed his discomfort. He had meant to wound her with harsh words, but her calm response unsettled him.
That careless, almost kind remark made her nose sting.
Turning her back to him, she replied quietly:
“Then I won’t refuse. As you know, my circumstances aren’t good either. If there’s a chance, perhaps we’ll meet again.”
Vellia quickened her steps and left the garden.
If she stayed any longer, she feared she might throw herself into his arms and cry uncontrollably.
That afternoon, Raul arrived at the palace with Erze.
Erze roamed the palace with a bright smile, as if she were the true Princess Consort. The maids clearly disliked her, but since Raul had sternly warned them, they kept their complaints hidden.
But Vellia knew.
In the end, even those who disliked Erze now would eventually all take her side.
I may not be able to change everything, but perhaps… I can still warn Ronica of the danger.
From the start, when she first returned to the past, she hadn’t intended to seek love or to be loved.
Her goals were simple:
To prevent the Kingdom of Ronica from suffering the same tragedy again.
And to take revenge on Raul.
She resolved to focus only on those two things.
Otherwise, she knew she would collapse under the emptiness of having lost what once had been in her grasp.
