Episode 3
Even after that, my husband went on endlessly, changing partners and changing words, delighting in lewd conversations.
By the time I had finally closed his phone, satisfied after saving and rereading everything again and again, it was already evening.
I was exhausted… completely and utterly drained.
I didn’t cook dinner; I only bathed and went to bed.
I left him a note saying I wasn’t feeling well.
There was no way I could cook for him, nor sit at the same table and share a meal.
By the time I crawled under the covers, my grief had grown even greater than my anger. Overwhelmed and helpless, I curled up like a little girl and cried myself to sleep.
I couldn’t decide—was my husband actually having affairs, or were these just casual LINE exchanges and dates that never crossed the line?
The next morning, when I woke up, I found that he had already left for work. He’d toasted bread, made ham and eggs with a side salad, wrapped it in plastic wrap, and even left me a caring note.
> “Now, his unbearable kindness sinks into my chest.”
The following day at work, during lunch, I casually brought up this matter to some close colleagues, disguising it as “a friend’s husband’s story.”
I felt that what my husband was doing was absolutely unforgivable.
But perhaps because it was so far beyond what I could accept, I was terrified that I would lose myself entirely, drowning in my own fragility and instability.
I wondered desperately: What could I possibly do to save my pitiful, shattered feelings?
Maybe I was simply searching for some form of salvation, anywhere.
That’s why I wanted to hear the opinions of people I regarded as “normal,” people whose values I thought were on the same level as mine.
That day, by chance, there were four men and two women eating with me. They all agreed, saying the same thing:
> “A 40-year-old, high-income, married man without kids—who’s already gone on multiple one-on-one dates with women? There’s no way it’s innocent. Zero percent. Not a chance.”
Only one person suggested it might be “just for fun,” but even then, with conditions.
> “If he’s really head-over-heels in love with his wife, then maybe—maybe—it’s possible. But that would be a miracle.”
And others added:
> “If he’s already exchanging nearly naked pictures and enjoying dirty talk, isn’t that basically the same as saying he’s already slept with them?”
This is how I came to realize just how naïve I had been.
