Chapter 11 …..
“Aiden…? How do you know Aiden?”
Elena, who had been sprawled on the bed, suddenly shot up like a fish brought back to life.
“You’ve heard something about him, haven’t you? Right?”
Aiden is alive.
There’s no other way he’d mention Aiden’s name.
“No, it’s just… you called out the name Aiden while you were sleeping.”
“Ah…”
She must have foolishly let herself hope for nothing.
For a brief moment, just hearing Aiden’s name after so long had lifted her spirits. That alone would have to be enough.
Elena flopped back down onto the bed like a dried fish.
“If you want, I can look into it for you,” he said, eyes scanning the document densely filled with writing.
“What? Really?”
She threw off the blanket and jumped up.
The dead, lifeless look in her eyes was instantly replaced with a spark of life.
“Really? You’re not lying to me, are you?”
She asked twice, genuinely overjoyed.
She looked like a child who had just been handed a teddy bear as a gift.
He gazed at her quietly.
Without anyone noticing, a small dimple formed prettily on his pale cheek.
“I don’t take back what I’ve said.”
For the first time since arriving here, Elena felt something close to gratitude toward him.
For a moment, she wondered if she was being tamed, but she quickly shook the thought away.
“Aiden is my only friend. We grew up together in the orphanage…”
He was the one who stood by her side through happiness and hardship.
The one who walked beside her when she said she wanted to live freely.
She had no one else but Aiden.
If someone asked what her entire life was, the answer would also be Aiden.
“He must be precious to you,” he said.
“Yeah. Very much.”
Talking about Aiden brought a genuine smile to her face for the first time.
Seeing her faint smile, Decarus’ lips curved slightly.
“Larsa will face severe punishment.”
Thud. A massive seal came down with a loud sound.
“How do you know that woman…?”
Larsa — the name of the orphanage director who tormented Elena every single day.
Perhaps because the memories were so horrific, a shiver ran through her body.
“She committed shameful acts.”
“Oh, so you do know the word ‘shameful,’ huh?”
“Elena.”
Elena cleared her throat and pouted.
He had committed shameful acts himself, yet he showed no sign of remorse.
“Well, anyway, you just found out now, huh? You, the ruler of the Duchy.”
“Yes. I intend to give the Duchy’s Education Bureau the maximum possible support through this incident. I’ll also strengthen the laws.”
Seeing him at least try to correct a wrong, she thought maybe he wasn’t a duke for nothing.
This must be the image of the man that others see on the surface.
“Well, whatever. So you dug into my past?”
“Yes, coincidentally.”
He said it like prying into someone’s information meant nothing to him.
Not that she minded.
What would a gypsy, who only had her freedom, have left to hide?
Even if he had investigated her, she had lived a clean, wandering life—there was nothing to expose.
“There’s not much to find anyway. I was a drifter.”
“Not much, huh…”
His hand, which had been stamping papers, paused briefly.
“Well, there’s still a lot you don’t know…”
“Huh? What did you say?”
He mumbled something and let his words trail off.
She didn’t catch it and asked again, but he simply waved it off.
“No, nothing. Elena, come here. Let’s start the Imperial language lesson.”
“I’d rather learn from anyone else but you.”
She answered sharply without even turning back.
Just breathing the same air as him in this room was unbearable; she couldn’t imagine sitting face to face to study.
All she wanted right now was to escape this room.
“I’d be better than Jane. I graduated top of the academy, after all.”
She had never met anyone who boasted so casually.
His face, his body, his education — it was as if he considered himself flawless.
Elena snorted and buried her face deep into the pillow again.
“I’d rather die than study with you.”
She’d sooner die than sit across from him.
Decarus thought for a moment, then opened a drawer.
“Would you like some chocolate, Elena?”
He sounded like someone trying to lure a lazy cat with treats.
She wasn’t stupid. She wouldn’t fall for chocolate.
“Do I look like someone who’d fall for that?”
“I thought you might,” he replied.
He seemed to be lost in some useless thoughts for a moment.
After a while, he spoke again.
“Want to go for a walk?”
He clearly wasn’t as smart as he claimed to be.
How could ‘Want to go for a walk?’ be the best he could come up with after minutes of thinking?
And wasn’t that the kind of thing people said to dogs?
He really did see her as some kind of animal.
Well… she did feel slightly tempted.
She had only ever seen the outside of this massive mansion through the window.
She longed to feel the breeze and sunlight… but not with him.
No, she had to hold back. Whoever holds out wins.
“Then do you want to play with me?”
“For heaven’s sake, could you say something that actually makes sense?”
Why did he keep pestering her like this?
Elena sighed and burrowed even deeper into her pillow.
Creak—
She heard the sound of a chair sliding. He must have stood up.
Tap, tap. His footsteps drew closer.
Was he really coming toward the bed?
Thud—
The mattress sank slightly as he sat down by her head.
Why was he bothering her all of a sudden?
“Go do your work. You have plenty to do,” she mumbled into the pillow.
“I have enough time to spare for you.”
His hand gently brushed through her curly hair.
The strange sensation made her scalp prickle and tickle.
“Don’t touch me.”
Smack—
His hand fell away miserably.
Like a frightened little rabbit, she retreated under the covers.
“Don’t come near me. Don’t talk to me. And don’t touch me.”
She was like a landmine—one more step and she’d explode.
A mine left unattended for years, waiting for someone to step on it.
She had buried herself deep in the mud, afraid of another human’s touch.
“You’re like a serval,” he said.
“……”
“A wildcat that grew up without ever feeling a human’s warmth. You always bare your claws at me. But in truth, you want to be loved.”
“Hah.”
Loved…?
Could anyone count the number of times she’d been hurt in the name of love?
Could anyone understand the hearts of children abandoned in the name of love?
To her, love was a cruel noose, a sorrowful emotion that bloomed from sand.
“Who are you to define me?”
The tiny spark in her heart flared up in an instant.
Elena threw off the blanket and glared at him with the fierceness of someone ready to kill.
Her cold voice leaked through tightly clenched teeth.
She hated the way he spoke as if he understood her completely.
“Love?”
It was laughable.
She had never once felt that emotion.
She had no need for it, nor any desire to.
Love had always brought her pain.
She didn’t have a room in her heart to receive love.
No — that room had never existed.
Love was a false emotion that turned people into fools.
“I don’t need something like love.”
Yes, she didn’t need such a thing.
Humans are alone by nature.
All that talk about giving and receiving love together was just lies.
Such words were hypocritical and ugly.
All of it was an excuse created by weak people.
“Elena.”
“What? Do you pity me? Yeah, I bet someone like you has never met a parentless kid before. So you pity me, huh? Because I’m an orphan? Is that why you’re feeling sympathetic now?”
She poured out the darkness festering inside her.
She hated this man for judging her however he pleased.
The rebellion boiling inside burst out.
“You must’ve been lucky to at least have dead parents. Good for you. You’ve got everything I don’t. Isn’t that right?”
“…Elena.”
His expression immediately darkened.
She felt a twinge of fear but didn’t care.
She hadn’t intended to bring up dead parents.
Her mouth had simply moved on its own, fueled by anger.
“Don’t look at me with those eyes. Don’t pity me.”
“……”
“I hate people like you the most. The ones with that holier-than-thou attitude. That’s exactly what you are. The worst. Absolutely the worst.”
He stared at her blankly, showing no emotion.
His ruby-red eyes revealed nothing.
“So stop getting involved in my life. Just looking at you right now is exhausting.”
After spilling everything she had never told anyone, a hollow emptiness washed over her.
Guilt crept in like a dark fog.
“Just leave. Go do your—!”
Suddenly, he pulled her into his arms.
Elena was yanked forward by a powerful force and fell against his broad chest.
“What are you—!”
He silently stroked her head.
Like petting a puppy, softly.
“Let go.”
“……”
“I said let go!”
She beat her fists against his arm, but he didn’t even flinch.
“You haven’t changed. Even when you’re hurt, you can’t say you’re hurting.”
“What are you talking about…!”
“So stubborn.”
Why did he act like he’d known her forever?
She had never even seen him before—so why…?
“Who are you? Who the hell are you to me…!”
“I’m someone who can cherish you.”
“…What?”
He slowly pulled back his shoulder and met her gaze.
Her trembling reflection filled his glassy eyes.
“I’m someone who can hold you in my arms.”
“What….”
His warm hand gently caressed her cheek.
A confusing emotion settled in her chest, like heat shimmering between cracks in the asphalt.
“I’m someone who will love you forever.”
“Don’t say that.”
She didn’t want to hear it.
His words sounded like a cursed spell — weakening her defenses.
“I love you.”
“Stop it.”
Her body trembled like someone left alone in a winter blizzard.
An unknown fear and terror poured out as if she stood before the gates of hell.
“Elena.”
“I said stop! Stop it!!!”
A small drop formed at the corner of her eye and rolled down her cheek.
The tears burst out like a passing rain shower, endlessly.
Elena raised her fists and struck his chest hard.
“I told you to stop! Why do you keep… keep…”
He let out a long sigh and embraced her again.
Elena gasped for breath as his arms tightened around her like a vice.
Her face became a mess, smeared with tears against his shirt.
Eyes shut tightly, she finally forced out a hoarse voice.
“I hate you… so much.”
“I know.”
“I really, really hate you. You’re the worst…”
Yet the hand patting her back carried a warmth like a well-tended spring flower.
And in a small corner of her heart, a tiny bud quietly began to sprout.
