Chapter 5
Kisschel.
We had spent much of our childhood together, but I hadn’t seen that face since I turned eighteen.
“Ah…”
I was so shocked that my mouth dropped open before I even realized it.
He kindly reached out and gently closed my jaw with his hand.
I shut my mouth tightly and stared at him, eyes wide.
My eyes began to sting, and my chest tightened painfully.
That familiar feeling taking over my body—was deep longing.
He was the only one who had ever stood by my side among people who had given me only the bare minimum: a duke I couldn’t call family, a birth mother who had never shown me a shred of affection—never even met my gaze, much less spoken to me.
The tension slowly drained from my body.
I took a step toward him.
He didn’t step away.
“I’ve returned, my lady.”
So you came back around this time.
Even in my past life as a fugitive, I’d think of him from time to time.
And now, here we were—right at the point when, in that past life, I’d first been accused and forced to run.
“Thank goodness…”
I couldn’t hold back the wave of emotions.
How could I possibly express the joy, the overwhelming relief, that was surging up to my throat?
“Judging by your reaction… something must’ve happened.”
Kisschel wasn’t someone I could simply call “my person.”
“No wonder the lower floor was teeming with disgusting things.”
He was the only one I could truly call family.
Tears welled up and spilled over before I could stop them, and I dropped my head into his chest.
“Yeah. Something happened. A lot happened… really, so much…”
As soon as I smelled that familiar scent of his, a deep calm settled over me.
When I was little and scared to sleep alone, I’d cling to his sleeve and beg him to stay until I fell asleep.
He had been there through every chapter of my life—so much so that I had even felt relief that he hadn’t seen me at my lowest.
And now, he was standing here.
“I missed you.”
I whispered it under my breath.
It finally started to feel like I’d returned to where I belonged.
✦ ✦ ✦
Kisschel naturally settled into the seat he always used, and quietly broke the silence.
“I heard on the way in—His Grace the Duke has gone missing.”
I flinched, and the cookie I had just bitten caught in my throat.
True to his sharp instincts, he caught on instantly and shot me a piercing look.
“Ahem… cough.”
“My dear lady, we haven’t seen each other in so long—surely you’re not putting up walls with me, are you?”
No, no, not at all.
Definitely not.
As I coughed from the cookie lodged in my throat, he poured me some tea.
I tilted the cup and washed the dry crumbs down, then flicked my gaze over to him cautiously.
When I didn’t respond, Kisschel casually folded the shawl I had tossed across the sofa, muttering to himself.
“Both the Duke and Duchess missing… What kind of mess is this?”
“Mm, right…”
“Honestly, I hope they went to the edge of hell and never come back.”
“…Sorry, what?”
“Yes?”
He finished folding the shawl neatly, all the while studying my reaction.
He clearly suspected I was hiding something, but didn’t press—just waited patiently for me to speak.
“Hmm… ahem…”
Feeling the pressure from his expectant gaze, a cold sweat slid down my back.
“Would you like some more water?”
“No, thank you.”
After agonizing for a while, I realized there was no need to hide it anymore—and decided to tell him everything.
Except the part about my regression.
“I can see your lips twitching. Any more and you’ll cramp up.”
After hesitating about how to begin, I just told him everything honestly—everything except that one detail.
Even after I finished, I couldn’t help but glance at him nervously, unsure how he would react.
He didn’t say anything—just lowered his eyes, hand covering his mouth as he leaned on his elbow.
“Um… Kisschel?”
When I called his name in a small voice, he exhaled slowly with a serious expression.
Okay… why the mood?
I mean, yeah, it’s a serious topic, but still…
“All right.”
He clapped his hands—clap!
I blinked in surprise.
Then he stood and, with the most serious look on his face, said the most ridiculous thing:
“Why don’t we just wipe out all the lesser noble families while we’re at it?”
I set down my teacup.
His eyes were blazing, and I shot him a cold stare before grabbing his arm and making him sit back down.
Sit. Just sit.
The sofa could easily fit two, but Kisschel had taken up more than half, so I squished myself in beside him with a thud.
“I feel dumb for being nervous.”
“Don’t worry. The way you handled it—you’ve already proven you’re no fool.”
“What? So you’re saying I was a fool before?”
“Of course not. How could I ever call my beloved lady a fool?”
He flashed a mischievous grin.
“It’s just a shame I didn’t get to deal with them myself.”
Sometimes, I noticed this quiet chill in him.
“Shall we just report it to the imperial court as a disappearance?”
“That’s the plan.”
“And after that?”
“…”
He said my hair was messy and turned me slightly to fix it.
As he gently ran a comb through my hair, he asked softly:
“What do you plan to do next?”
“I don’t want to live weakly anymore.”
“There’s no one who’d dare call you weak, my lady.”
His fingers glided softly through my hair, lulling me into comfort.
He was the only person whose warmth I could truly feel.
From his touch, his voice—I felt cherished.
He lifted his hands, finishing my hair, and I let out a quiet chuckle.
Then, smoothing down a stray strand, I murmured:
“Weakness only eats away at my soul.”
“…”
“Powerlessness makes me disappear.”
When I was young, I was too small to reject my parents.
When I got older, I thought obeying them was natural.
And as an adult, I didn’t dare rebel against my father.
I had lived my whole life weak and powerless.
He was Duke Inerra Mertiel—one of the Empire’s great nobles with hundreds of soldiers at his command.
And I? I was just a noble daughter who lived in his house, eating and sleeping under his roof.
“I hate that.”
I won’t live like that anymore.
I turned away from Kisschel.
It had taken me so long to realize even that small truth. So long to finally break out of the prison my father built for me.
“I want power—so no one can ever look down on me again.”
“Then go get it.”
“Power—and influence, if possible.”
“Not a bad plan.”
“I want to be someone who leaves a mark on everyone’s minds—not just some disposable noble lady.”
“I’d like that too.”
“I don’t want to be sold off in some arranged marriage.”
“Seems like we’re thinking the same thing.”
“I don’t want to pop out a son just to secure my position, as Father wishes.”
“Now that’s what I call a crazy demand from the Duke.”
I widened my eyes and looked into his ash-gray ones.
“Did you just insult him?”
“Nope.”
“I heard that clearly.”
“A devout servant like me? Using such crude language in front of my lady? You must’ve misheard.”
“Wow… shameless.”
He burst into laughter.
And I couldn’t help but laugh with him.
Ah… when was the last time I laughed like this? I honestly couldn’t remember.
“I used to worry you wouldn’t grow taller, but it looks like you’ve finally caught up. I’m happy.”
“What are you talking about? And I told you not to mention my height!”
“I fed you everything said to boost growth, but still—oof!”
I pinched his side with a smug look and turned away.
Kisschel winced and rubbed his ribs dramatically, but I wasn’t falling for that.
“You’ve got more to say, don’t you? Might as well say it now before I hit you again.”
Marriage? Absolutely not.
Sure, the fate of noble daughters in the Empire was pretty much set in stone, but that was the one thing I could never accept.
I wouldn’t marry some wrinkled old man—or some nobody heir my age.
I refused to be sold off like a bargaining chip.
Here or there, I’d just end up being pressured to bear a son right after the wedding. That was a given.
“You know… I think I’ll become a Duke.”
Take over from my father—somewhere in those distant mountains.
Kisschel looked at me, and I didn’t avoid his red gaze—I met it straight on.
With full conviction, I spoke clearly and firmly:
“Inerra Mertiel, Duchess of the House. Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?”
