[18] Chapter 3. To Avoid Loving (5)
And then, the girl said she would go off on her own to find some unheard-of village, parting ways with him. Ilias recalled the events of early that morning and absentmindedly fiddled with the hair brushing against the corner of his eye.
From the start, his agreement with Fernciana was only to provide information on the way to the capital—not to accompany her all the way. It was only then that Ilias realized he had somehow forgotten that himself.
The girl had calmly, even coolly, said she needed to go visit the village she’d heard about last night. Ilias had watched her hand without letting her notice. That blood-covered hand had already healed significantly overnight.
‘Wait a minute. So is it one of those isolated, self-sustained communities with internal customs? That sounds seriously closed off, doesn’t it?’
Ilias suddenly stiffened. A “closed-off” place often implied hostility toward outsiders. You never know what might happen in a village like that.
It might go without incident, but in places with little interaction with the outside world, their internal rules might be as absolute as divine law.
‘Still, Feyrun knows how to take care of herself. She’s a little brat who’s more capable than I am.’
He forced his expression to relax. If Luailey had seen him just then, she would’ve paled and asked who this guy even was. Nevertheless, Ilias tried his best to steady his heart.
‘Besides, if she needed help, she would’ve asked me to go with her. Even if we’re not particularly close, if she wanted someone with her, she would’ve just said so.’
The reason they’d come all the way from Ronen together was because Fernciana had requested it. Now she was saying she’d head southwest from here on her own—meaning she didn’t need anyone else.
And to be honest, even if she had asked, Ilias wouldn’t have been able to accompany her anyway. Luailey was still waiting for him to return to the capital, and he had things to take care of too. So…
‘Wait. When metal touches her…’
Ilias paused mid-thought. He’d never seen anyone suffer from a condition where contact with metal damaged their skin, but seeing her, he realized such a thing might exist. The wounds left from her fight with the bandits suddenly made sense.
And yet, frustration began to bubble inside him.
If that was the case, shouldn’t she have said something? If people don’t know, how can they accommodate or help? Thinking she could just get used to it and not saying anything—that’s the kind of nonsense only fools come up with.
Though Ilias wasn’t skilled with a sword, he had a keen eye. When he saw Fernciana wielding a blade against the bandits, he could tell she was quite capable.
It was clear she understood the difference between a real sword and a wooden one far more deeply than most people ever would. And yet, she’d chosen to carry a wooden sword. That meant she had no desire to even touch real blades. It must have been painful for her—physically or emotionally.
That’s why when the shopkeeper said something about others like her, she turned around and went off without hesitation. Ilias understood that too. He understood it all.
So, he just said one word of concern and let her go.
‘When metal touches her… does it only mean iron? Or all metals?’
The day before they parted, Ilias had given her a necklace. How had she reacted?
Of course, she had been happy, but hadn’t she also looked a bit startled at first? Was it just because it was an unexpected gift? Or was she torn between the pain of wearing the necklace and not wanting to reject a gift from him?
‘Wait a second… did she even wear the necklace? Maybe not. And even if she did, we’re not together anymore. She probably took it off.’
So, there’s no reason for him to worry. And it’s not like her personality is all that gentle either. When they first met, she’d tried to mooch a meal because she had nothing on her—only to then accuse him of being a freeloader. How sharp she had been then!
At that moment, the carriage came to a halt. The driver glanced ahead, relaxed his previously tense grip, and spoke.
“It’s another wagon from our merchant group heading to Maroila. Looks like they’re just saying hi. If you’re planning to go back to Maroila, that one would be your fastest ride.”
As soon as Ilias heard that, he scribbled a quick note, handed it over with some coins, grabbed his luggage, and stood up without another word.
After all, Fernciana had said all those harsh things—and still bought him a meal in the end.
“Illy… Ilias? What are you doing here?”
“Had to check something.”
“Huh? Check what…?”
The unexpected appearance of someone she hadn’t even imagined left her flustered, her voice breaking off mid-sentence.
While Fernciana was still wiping away tears, Ilias strode over and suddenly grabbed the collar at the back of her neck, pulling it aside. The movement was hasty but cautious.
As Fernciana blinked, brushing away the last of her tears, Ilias let out a deep sigh.
“I’m seriously losing my mind… you idiot…”
“Huh?”
“I knew this would happen. Dammit. Turn around. Now.”
Though she didn’t understand what was going on, Fernciana quietly turned around just as he instructed. Ilias, his movements a mix of irritation and guilt, unfastened the necklace from around her neck.
“I told you back then—if there’s a problem, you have to tell me.”
“Ah, well… yes, but…”
The back of her neck and down her chest bore a red burn, shaped exactly like the necklace.
“The ointment! That ointment I gave you!”
“Uh… yeah…”
Fernciana hurriedly rummaged through her bag and pulled it out. Ilias looked around for water, found nothing, so he grabbed his canteen, washed his hands, scooped some ointment, and gently applied it to the burn on her neck. He added more to her hands, only straightening up after he was done.
“If touching any kind of metal does this, why the hell didn’t you say something?”
“Well, this… I mean…”
“If you wore this and ended up like that, you should’ve just taken it off. Why’d you keep wearing it like a fool?”
“Because it’s pretty…”
Ilias jumped in place, almost reflexively. It was a tactic to avoid yelling at her over something that wasn’t even really her fault. If there’d been a wall nearby, he might have punched it to dust.
“…Never mind. It’s my fault for giving it to you without knowing. Either way, I’m confiscating it.”
“What? Why!? You can’t just take it back! Give it!”
“I’ll give it back later. But not now.”
“You came all the way just to check this?!”
Fernciana grabbed his collar and clung to him, looking deeply wronged, but Ilias didn’t budge an inch.
“…Yeah.”
Ilias didn’t think of himself as a strict person. In fact, he was pretty lenient with himself. He was lucky enough to be born with a brilliant mind and used it to do what he liked.
He figured the scales of fate were tilted fairly in his case. Even if he encountered injustice, he had the ability, desire, and means to correct it himself. That felt like enough.
And so, when he encountered someone strict with themselves—like Fernciana—he realized, for the first time, he didn’t quite know what to do.
“Are you going alone?”
“No, I mean…”
“What if the people there are scary?”
Her expression softened at the way he spoke—like scolding a child—and she let out a small laugh. Ilias sighed.
“And anyway, didn’t you promise to protect me when I bought you that wooden sword? You just toss that promise out the window now? Huh? You little brat.”
“I didn’t toss it out… I just… Ilias, can’t you skip going to Formilas?”
“What the hell? Why didn’t you just ask me to come with you?”
“I thought you had to go to Formilas…”
“So what? It’s worth a try, isn’t it? If I couldn’t, I’d just say no.”
“I didn’t want to trouble you…”
Ah… Ilias let out a sigh and tucked away his emotions.
So that’s what kind of person you are. You can’t say no to people. Once you care about someone, you can’t turn them down. You hear a request and feel trapped, unable to refuse, so you just go along with it.
“I can say no when I need to, you know. What’s so troubling about that?”
“…Still, just in case…”
“Anyway, we’ll just stop by that Desidiera place or whatever and then head to Formilas.”
“Okay.”
“Then let’s get going. I just need to be out of reach before Luailey shows up with a sword in her mouth.”
He said it like a joke and took the lead. He could feel the stare behind him—Fernciana wasn’t moving, just watching. But Ilias didn’t look back.
Before long, he heard her running lightly to catch up and walk beside him.
