Chapter 03
“Sniff, it’s been a while.”
Trying to act like everything was fine, Belia had sobbed as soon as she entered her room. Now, she finally lifted her head and glanced around.
The room, simply furnished, was quite different from those of other 16-year-old noble ladies.
“Frugal.”
Belia gave a fairly objective assessment as she leaned her head back against the sofa while sitting on the floor.
Torn tissues were scattered all around her.
“Wow, I’ve really lost it. Totally gone mad.”
Harsh words spilled from her delicate lips.
It helped relieve the tangled mess of her emotions, just a bit.
She couldn’t even put into words how disgusting this cursed regression had become after repeating again and again.
Still, Belia forced a smile.
“Fine. Let’s enjoy it.”
A mercenary she met just before exile in her previous life once told her, “Those who enjoy life are the real masters.”
Recalling those words, Belia braced herself.
She already knew very well that awakening or finding Rene was impossible.
“Give up.”
The thought “Should I give it one last shot, since it might be the end?” briefly crossed her mind, but Belia shook her head repeatedly.
She didn’t want to feel that helplessness again—her heart and whole body being trampled.
“I can’t do it anymore. Ugh, whatever!”
Belia stretched out and looked up at the ceiling.
“Just die! Yeah, let’s die! Live glamorously and go out with a bang!”
A giggle slipped out.
They say people just laugh when they lose their minds—and that described her state perfectly.
She wanted to stop thinking so much.
“In about three years… I can live it up. Right?”
She figured it wouldn’t be so bad to live flamboyantly and leave behind a name that would be talked about—even if as a fake.
Maybe if she died being called something else besides “the fake of House Arphedi,” it would feel a little better?
“If I enjoy myself and then die by my own hand, maybe it won’t be so humiliating or painful.”
Belia gave a bitter smile as she looked around the room.
The cream-colored sofa and the neat wooden desk reflected her modest and simple taste.
“Yeah. Let’s change the room too, while we’re at it.”
Fiddling with a large diamond ring, Belia chuckled.
Diamonds sparkled in various directions through the window.
As she gazed at the rainbow captured within the gem, Belia murmured,
“Let’s even have a coffin made of diamonds. Wear a tiara and prepare for death before Rene shows up. Even if she does, my second brother will handle the funeral nicely.”
“Why would you?! Fake or not, you’re still my sister!”
Those were the words her second brother had said to her before she died.
“Didn’t expect that rascal to say something like that.”
Belia smiled in satisfaction.
She hadn’t expected her second brother to stand by her, but learning that before she died made it worth it.
Maybe even in her previous life, he had cried after her death.
“You little bastard.”
Her second brother, who had inherited their mother’s eyes, used to argue and mock her at every turn.
After reliving her life several times, she came to understand why he did.
When she had the accident at eight and had to recover at home, her mother devoted all her attention to her.
Not just for one year—it lasted several.
And the servants followed suit.
Her brother had been ten then, and still needed love too.
Even so, blood was thicker than water, and it seemed he had always seen her as family.
“How cute.”
She had thought only their mother loved her.
Their father, while not unfriendly, always seemed to avoid conversation.
So when she died—and her mother was already gone from illness—she had believed she had no family left.
But her second brother had taken her side.
Unlike the firstborn, Barun.
Belia smiled wryly.
“Anyway…”
“Belia!”
Bang! The door flew open. Belia looked up in surprise.
Her face immediately lit up.
“Songb!”
“I snuck in… Did I surprise you?”
Belia jumped up and hugged Songb.
“Eep!”
Caught off guard by the sudden hug, Songb let out a high-pitched yelp.
“What’s gotten into you?”
Songb blinked, startled by the physical affection.
Her pale pink hair and pink eyes—
Belia was thrilled to see her friend, like a puff of cotton candy.
She gently patted Songb’s soft hair and held her tightly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
Everyone around Belia was such a fool.
“Belia would never do that! Are you all crazy?!”
When Belia had been accused of being a fake, Songb had shouted those words in front of the crowd.
Belia had been amazed that such a tiny body could produce such a loud voice.
As a baron’s daughter, Songb didn’t have much power.
Yet she stood by Belia’s side—even though she was shunned from society and wrapped in scandal.
She had stayed loyal to the end.
“Idiot…”
“Hmm?”
Belia had even tried to push her away.
In her second life, she had deliberately acted cold to sever ties as a friend.
But even then, Songb had not only stayed close—she had defended Belia again when Rene appeared and Belia cut ties unilaterally.
“Fool.”
“Wait, are you talking about me this whole time?”
Songb, shorter than Belia, barely peeked her face out of her arms. Belia laughed.
“Yes!”
“What?!”
Belia pulled away, laughing, and tugged at her baby-faced friend’s cheeks.
“You look kind of dumb, you know?”
Songb looked wide-eyed at Belia’s laughter.
“Why are you acting like this today… Are you in a good mood?”
“Yep! Because I saw you!”
When Belia beamed, Songb flinched.
Black hair, black eyes, and a face that usually looked cold—yes, it was her friend, but something had changed overnight.
“She feels different…”
Songb remembered the Belia from eight years ago, before the incident.
The bright friend she once had.
They didn’t see each other for two years while Belia underwent burn treatment, and she’d changed completely since then.
Though Belia had become expressionless and withdrawn, Songb knew she was one of the kindest people around.
She had even secretly supported Songb’s family when they fell into hardship.
It was also Belia who saved her when, at just fourteen, she was nearly engaged to an old man from a shady family.
Songb had seen faint smiles from her before—but never a smile this radiant.
It made her happy.
She smiled back, then tilted her head.
“But seriously, what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
Belia asked casually, lying down on the bed.
Songb sat down beside her.
“You just seem different… And what’s with all the tissues on the floor? Were you crying?”
“Oh, that? Nothing.”
Belia gave an awkward smile.
“Maybe I hit puberty now that I’m sixteen.”
She knew how ridiculous that sounded.
But the old, quiet, indifferent self now felt distant.
Just thinking about acting like that again was exhausting.
In a day or two, everyone would just assume “Was she always like that?” and adapt. That’s how people were.
So she shrugged it off.
Songb blinked.
“They say puberty hits hard, but it seems to be a good thing for you, Belia.”
She hugged Belia around the waist.
“Ack, heavy.”
“Oh, did you pick a dress?!”
“Dress?”
“Yeah!”
Songb straightened up with a worried look.
“It’s your only sixteenth birthday! You’re going to wait until a week before to get a dress? I mean, I’m a baron’s daughter, but you’re a marquis’s daughter! If you show up in something basic, people will mock you! I’ve been telling you since last year to get ready!”
“So I changed it.”
“Suddenly? I thought you were getting fitted today.”
“You were right, so I changed it.”
Belia gave a small smile.
“How did you change it? Ugh, I want to ask, but I don’t have time. I have to go.”
“Already?”
Belia jumped up.
“Yeah. I only came to see your face. My mom told me to come back early.”
“Oh, your mom?”
“Yeah. She said she doesn’t like the jewelry and wants to pick new ones.”
Songb stood up, looking annoyed.
“Ugh, can’t she just let it go? She wants me to wear something flashy and snatch up a rich young lord. My mom thinks marriage is everything. Seriously.”
She looked fed up.
“Like, what’s a baron’s daughter gonna gain from wearing expensive jewels? I’m not suddenly gonna become a duke’s daughter. There’s a limit to being extra.”
Her bitter expression said it all.
“You don’t want to get married, do you?”
“Of course not.”
Songb nodded immediately.
After that near-marriage to that old man, she had developed a phobia of marriage.
“But thanks to you, at least I’m being matched by age now. That’s something, right? Better than nursing some wrinkly grandpa.”
She gave a forced smile.
Songb knew there was no way to avoid marriage.
“Ugh, I shouldn’t have brought it up. Whatever. It’s not like I’m getting married tomorrow… Anyway, I’m off. See you, Belia.”
She waved and smiled, then closed the door behind her.
Belia slowly lowered her hand.
As she thought about the gloom on Songb’s face, she fell into deep thought.
How long she stayed like that, she didn’t know, but eventually she stood up.
“Alright.”
She had thought of a way to enjoy her remaining three years.
Even though all three regressions had ended in failure, there were still people she was grateful to.
This might be her last chance to repay them.
“This is the end, after all.”
She would die—but among those left behind, there would be people who mourned her death.
Belia approached her desk and picked up a pen.
“If it’s my last life, I should repay my debts.”
She’d die being cursed out by countless people anyway.
So it was fine if only the ones who truly loved her remembered her.
Fake or real, marquis’s daughter or not—she just wanted to be remembered as Belia.
Late into the night, Belia pondered the final chapter of her fourth and last life.
