Chapter 20
After chatting for a bit longer, Kaien returned to his room—but his expression looked a little unsettled.
“Your Majesty, shall I help you change into your nightwear…?”
“No. Everyone leave.”
As always, Kaien refused any help with changing or bathing.
He threw off his clothes and lay on the bed.
The bed was big and soft—nothing like the one in his military tent in Lubeo—but he still felt uneasy.
“Maybe it’s because I left Lubeo…”
The palace had always felt unfamiliar to him.
After his gentle and kind mother died, his father started going mad—and turned his anger on 7-year-old Kaien.
Though he didn’t remember everything, that’s what Count Hayer had told him later.
“Count… Do you think Father still hates me?”
Even as a child, Kaien was clever.
He knew how cold his father’s eyes had become.
He also understood that being sent away with Count Hayer to Lubeo was just exile.
“His Majesty used to be a strong and loving man. But after being hurt so deeply, his heart became sick.”
“Because Mother died because of me?”
Count Hayer was a big, strong knight with a kind heart.
He knelt to Kaien’s level and gently held his shoulder.
“No, Prince. Your mother was killed by an assassin. It was never your fault.”
“But Father says it was because of me…”
Even if others tried to protect him, they couldn’t hide the Emperor’s hatred forever.
“His Majesty is not himself. He is sick in the heart. But both he and your mother loved you deeply. You know that, right?”
Young Kaien didn’t answer.
He just kicked at a rock near his feet.
“When His Majesty recovers, he’ll bring you back. I promise. You know I never lie.”
“Really? Then I can come back to the palace soon?”
“Yes… Never forget—your true place is here in the palace.”
But that day never came.
Maybe Count Hayer knew it all along.
Afraid that the mad Emperor might kill his son, the Count had volunteered to take Kaien far away—to the wild edges of the empire, where the land was barren and even villagers didn’t want to live.
“Count Hayer was never good at lying…”
His wife had been frail, and after moving to Lubeo, she passed away when Kaien and Glen were twelve.
“I promise, Glen and I will serve you for life. You are the only one who can become Emperor.”
Sadly, Count Hayer never lived to see Kaien become emperor.
He died falling off a horse during battle, just before the old Emperor passed.
Glen stayed by Kaien’s side afterward, but even he wasn’t enough.
“There’s no place for me in this palace.”
Kaien’s dark eyes dimmed with sadness.
No one had ever seen this side of him—not even Glen.
“Is anyone out there?”
Feeling overwhelmed, Kaien raised his voice.
But unlike his tent in Lubeo, this room had thick walls and doors.
No one heard him.
So he rang the bell near his bed, and finally, a servant entered.
“Did you call, Your Majesty?”
“I’m hungry. Bring me the snacks from the Empress’s quarters.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Even though it wasn’t his first time eating sweets, Kaien still remembered the shock of that cookie.
And the fried chicken with dark beer… it had been surprisingly delicious.
“Tastes like grass.”
“That’s chrysanthemum tea. But it goes well with the cookies.”
Everything he ate at the Empress’s quarters had somehow balanced flavors perfectly.
“Bring the tea, too.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Even if the tea tasted like grass, when paired with a sweet cookie, it became smooth and calming.
“Your Majesty, I’ve brought the snacks and chrysanthemum tea.”
It was Emma—the older head maid—not the usual servant.
Her voice was calm, and she moved quietly.
“Oh, it’s you. Want to try one?”
Kaien offered a cookie as he reached for one himself.
“I couldn’t possibly…”
“Just one. I want to hear your thoughts.”
He wasn’t sure if the Empress’s food was that special—or if it just tasted good to him because of all the awful food he’d had in Lubeo.
“Then… I’ll try one, thank you.”
Emma carefully picked up a cookie and took a small bite.
Her eyes widened in surprise as she looked at Kaien.
“This is…”
Even after serving in the palace for so long, she had never tasted anything like this.
It wasn’t just sweet—it changed everything she thought she knew about sweetness.
“Are snacks like this common in the palace?”
“…No, this is my first time.”
“What about outside the palace?”
Kaien looked curious as he kept reaching for more cookies.
The tea helped balance the sweetness nicely.
“Your Majesty, they say the best of the empire is gathered in the capital—and the best of the capital is found here, in the palace.”
The palace was supposed to hold the finest of everything
But even someone like Emma, who had been here her whole life, had never tasted this kind of flavor.
“It’s a kind of sweetness you can’t find anywhere else.”
“So the Empress’s quarters are special.”
Maybe Alicia had finally decided to capture his attention.
Whatever it was, Emma wanted to cheer her on.
“Yes. Maybe it’s because Her Majesty is special.”
“Was the Empress’s chef trained in a foreign land?”
But even now, Kaien still couldn’t quite connect the dots.
“No foreigners are allowed in the palace. All the chefs receive the same training. The ones in your kitchen and the banquet hall have the same skills.”
Kaien frowned slightly.
“But all the food I’ve had elsewhere in the palace has been boring. Why is the Empress’s food so different?”
“Maybe… It’s because the Empress made it with special care for you.”
“So everything was her idea? Ask her tomorrow.”
“…Forgive me, but I can’t ask the Empress directly.”
That was as far as Emma could help.
The rest had to be figured out by Kaien and Alicia themselves.
“…Fine. Then I’ll ask her myself.”
It was almost like he planned to visit the Empress’s quarters again tomorrow.
Considering he didn’t even look at her on their wedding day, this was a huge change.
“I’ll take my leave.”
Emma bowed, and Kaien said nothing as he turned to lie on his side.
But unlike on the battlefield, he couldn’t sleep tonight.
“The Empress…”
People say that some change after a high fever.
But Alicia’s change had only been good.
Her eyes were clearer and sharper now.
“As much as I hate Lucan, maybe the ‘wisdom fever’ is real.”
He turned in bed again. Alicia’s expressions kept flashing in his mind.
Those blue gem-like eyes widening in surprise, the soft pink lips shyly answering his questions, her silver-blond hair blowing in the wind…
“The Empress…”
Kaien quietly muttered her title again.
A woman who used to be nothing more than Lucan’s spy—why was she suddenly on his mind?
“She’s just a woman.”
Still, the words clung to his tongue—like the sweet aftertaste of the cookie.
“The Empress… huh.”
Even when he took his wedding vows, or lifted her veil, or kissed her cheek, she meant nothing to him.
He believed his feelings would never change.
She was a symbol of humiliation—a deal made because nobles and Lucan’s Grand Sage thought Kaien didn’t deserve to be emperor.
The Empress from Lucan was a political condition, nothing more.
“But now… she’s no longer just ‘Lucan’s daughter.’”
Her bright blue eyes, soft cheeks, and young pink lips weren’t fake.
And after her fever, she stopped acting like Lucan’s puppet.
“Maybe… she’s like me.”
Just like Emma had said, Alicia had no personal life.
No friends, no family—just her old nanny.
“Right…”
She lost her parents young. She was used by Lucan and sent to the capital to be Empress.
“She was alone, too.”
Kaien whispered.
A woman he never thought he’d relate to… suddenly felt close.
And the reason was clear.
“It’s because… we’re the same.”
That simple thought finally helped Kaien relax a little.
He lay back down, ready to sleep.
“If that’s it… I get it now.”
But not even a minute later, he turned over again.
His eyes stared into the darkness—still wide awake.
“Come to think of it… She’s not Lucan anymore.”
She was now part of the Darius Empire.
She shared his name.
“What was her name…?”
Once a woman becomes Empress, her name disappears.
He had to think back to their wedding day to remember it.
“Do you swear, in the name of the holy gods, to keep your marriage vows until death—and even after death?”
“Yes. I swear in the name of Alicia of Lucan.”
That soft, shy voice under her veil—it had been the same as now.
“That’s right… Alicia.”
A year after their wedding—and two lives lived by Alicia—Kaien finally remembered her name.
