Chapter 9
Alicia buried her face in her pillow and bit her lip.
She had become empress at nineteen.
Now she was twenty—still so young.
“I can’t waste my life here any longer.”
In her old life, she had wanted to truly live, but she never had the power to do so.
“There’s no guarantee I could ever go back.”
In the modern world, even getting a tiny room to live in has been difficult.
Without parents or family, it would have been even harder.
“Maybe this is a blessing… maybe this is my last chance.”
But it was too early to give up.
“In my last life, I didn’t have even one real ally.”
Now, even as empress in this harsh place, she had Anes—someone solidly on her side.
And she couldn’t use the excuse that life was unfair anymore.
She already knew exactly how her life would end ten years from now.
“This could be my chance.”
If she had to live Alicia’s life twice, then she had to change its foundation.
She didn’t want to become a perfect empress or a powerful empress dowager.
All she wanted was a quiet life in her own little house.
For that, she needed one thing: a divorce.
“It’s no different in this era.”
It had been about a week since her fever broke.
Instead of reading Rukan’s endless letters, Alicia had read useful books.
“A marriage approved by the Church… can be ended. At least in theory.”
People are the same everywhere.
In her past life, even judges kept people waiting for weeks.
Here, the Church’s rulings were no less slow or complicated.
Of course, in this world, a woman couldn’t simply ask for a divorce—and asking the emperor himself was even more impossible.
That’s why Alicia’s past endurance couldn’t just be laughed off.
“A woman can only ask for divorce if… she fails in her duty as a wife or cannot give an heir, and she must admit her fault.”
It was unfair.
Marriage is a shared responsibility—so why must all the blame fall on the woman?
And Alicia had been blamed in her past life for not producing an heir, even though the emperor had never once touched her.
“You can’t reach the stars if no one even lets you look at the sky.”
She clicked her tongue.
This wasn’t even her original life, yet the ten years she spent as Alicia had left deep scars.
“Now or later… that man will never come to me.”
Kaiyen had ignored her completely, even after ten years of being a loyal empress.
That alone was enough reason for divorce.
“Rukan wouldn’t want a fool like me anymore either.”
Everyone’s interests lined up.
Kaiyen despised her existence.
Rukan wanted an empress who would obey and deliver their teachings.
Alicia—who was neither—was useless to both.
“And maybe… there’s another possibility.”
Alicia clutched a plain platinum necklace.
Kaiyen had never commented on it because it was so simple.
But if she pressed a small hidden button, the pendant opened like a flower.
—Lady Evangeline was very beautiful and kind. She had blue eyes, just like yours, Your Majesty.
Inside was a blue jewel, the same shade as Alicia’s eyes.
A simple trinket to others, but not to her.
—Before her last breath, she entrusted you to me.
In her past life, she only learned of her mother when she was already dying.
At Rukan, children were raised collectively—no one knew their parents.
—Keep this keepsake safe, always.
Anes had been her mother’s handmaid.
Wanting Alicia’s peace, she had hidden many truths.
—Lady Evangeline only wished for your happiness.
Even if she could escape the palace right now, she needed a plan.
Divorce would mean losing her title.
No one would welcome a fallen empress.
Rukan would likely reject her—or lock her in a monastery forever.
“Living under Rukan’s rules is not my idea of happiness.”
Alicia stroked the blue jewel.
In her past life, she hadn’t dared to dream of leaving her role.
Now, that possibility glimmered at her fingertips.
—Tristan is small, but rich and peaceful.
Lady Evangeline was their only princess. She met your father, a young man exploring the world outside Rukan, and they fell in love at first sight.
In her past life, Alicia had wondered about her parents.
Her father, Anes said, had been a bold, handsome young man with a fiery heart, one who hated Rukan’s restrictions.
“I can’t understand…”
A princess of a peaceful kingdom gave up her freedom, went to Rukan, bore Alicia, and died soon after.
“How could love for a man make her give up everything?”
If Alicia herself had been born a princess in a small kingdom, no matter how charming a man appeared, she would never have given up her freedom for a place like Rukan.
“Your Majesty, a message.”
Howard, the chief steward, interrupted her thoughts.
“Forgive me for disturbing your rest.”
“It’s fine.”
The staff of the empress’s palace was always calm and sensible.
“What is it?”
Howard bowed deeply.
“Tomorrow, His Majesty will have lunch with Duke Nigel and other nobles. He has ordered that the meal be prepared by the empress’s palace.”
Alicia blinked in surprise.
No matter how good her palace’s meals were, surely the emperor’s kitchens were better.
Why ask her?
“His Majesty specifically said: prepare it just like the dinner he had with Your Majesty.”
Her fine eyebrows lowered slightly.
That dinner had been stripped of all formalities—hardly fit for nobles.
Yet something about it must have struck him.
“Very well. Tell the steward that we will handle it. And… call Anes.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Soon, Anes arrived, bowing.
“You heard?”
“Yes, but…”
Alicia saw her concern.
“Follow His Majesty’s order. But this time, add a few more dishes. Just don’t change the overall style.”
Perhaps Kaiyen enjoyed the simplicity and comfort of that meal.
“Then we could add three kinds of braised and grilled meat, and prepare a finer dessert.”
“Do that. And Howard, you’ll personally attend His Majesty tomorrow.”
“As you command.”
In her past life, Kaiyen had been called a tyrant and shunned by nobles—a contradiction born from his strange upbringing.
The empress was blamed as useless, and the emperor as nothing more than a brute.
When Kaiyen heard that the empress’s palace would handle the lunch, his expression softened.
“You may go. I’ll rest now.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
After Glen left, Emma—the head maid—entered and bowed.
“Your Majesty.”
Kaiyen looked even stronger than before, while Emma, now past middle age, looked older and wearier.
“The steward went to the empress’s palace, so I will assist you instead.”
She helped him remove his outer robe and ordered a silver basin of water to be brought.
Fresh nightclothes were prepared, the bed neatly made.
“Your Majesty, if you’ll raise your arms…”
“No need.”
Kaiyen pushed her hands away and pulled off his shirt himself, tossing it aside.
It was the rough habit of a man used to Rubeo’s camps.
“Forgive me, but…”
“This is my private room. Don’t force etiquette on me here.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Emma bowed.
She had served the late empress, and it pained her to see how Kaiyen had grown up—like a common soldier rather than a royal heir.
“If I may, I’ll bring you chrysanthemum tea to help you sleep…”
“No need. Don’t fuss. Water is enough.”
His broad shoulders and firm muscles were impressive enough that even Emma looked away, embarrassed.
But then she saw him place a worn sword by his pillow, and she couldn’t stay silent.
“Your Majesty…”
When she looked closer, she noticed scars—old, faded ones and new ones not yet healed.
“How… how could you hurt your body like this? I must call the physician—”
“It’s fine. They’ll heal on their own.”
Emma held back a sigh.
Even a common boy would use ointment on wounds.
If only the late empress could see him now—she would cry.
“I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt at all.”
His words were gentle, almost kind.
“I mean, you don’t need to look so sad.”
“…Thank you, Your Majesty.”
Nobles in the capital called him a barbarian, a monster obsessed with bloodshed.
But to Emma, he looked like a simple young man, awkward with manners.
“Emma, aren’t you in charge of all the palace maids?”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
The head steward and head maid held high status.
Normally, Emma would be too busy serving the emperor, but with him always away, she mostly managed the palace itself.
“How is the empress?”
Kaiyen dropped onto the bed and asked an unexpected question.
He hadn’t even stepped into the bridal chamber on their wedding night—why ask about her now?
“Her Majesty has always been kind and gentle in running her palace.
But as you know, she recently fell gravely ill, so she has stepped back from duties for now.”
A good answer, but not what Kaiyen wanted to know.
“No, I mean… what does she do every day? Her daily life.”
“Of course, she follows the palace rules for each day.”
The more he asked, the less he understood.
“If you wish, I can write it down for you to read when you have time.”
Kaiyen nodded.
“Fine. If I get bored, I’ll look at it.”
He tossed out the words like he didn’t care, even though he had just been asking with curiosity, making Emma smile quietly.
“Write it down anyway.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
With a wave of his hand, Kaiyen dismissed her.
Emma bowed and quietly left.
