Chapter 7
As soon as Alicia saw the emperor’s procession leave the empress’s palace, she didn’t even bother changing clothes.
She collapsed onto the sofa.
“Ha… I thought I was going to die from the tension.”
She let out a long sigh.
Having dinner with him face-to-face was hard enough.
Finishing the meal without pointing out his lack of table manners was even harder.
But talking alone with him… that had been truly exhausting.
“You seemed so calm, Your Majesty,” her lady-in-waiting Anes said softly.
“Even His Majesty, who normally isn’t used to palace etiquette, looked very relaxed today.”
“Really?”
“Yes, truly.”
For a young empress only twenty years old, Alicia’s actions had been wise and clever.
“Who would dare try to teach the emperor how to behave?”
“Of course, no one would ever dare.”
Alicia thought of Kaiyen—how he usually lost his temper during meals.
She had only wanted to get through the meal without angering him.
But maybe, as Anes said, she had accomplished something bigger.
“Today, Your Majesty truly managed something difficult.”
“…Me?”
I know the past.
I can change the present.
And I can save a different future.
Alicia felt a new possibility open before her eyes.
“Yes. His Majesty seemed so at ease.”
Kaiyen was the late emperor’s only son.
But despite his noble birth, he had been left to grow up almost on his own.
The late emperor had led the empire to prosperity, but never cared for his family—and least of all for Kaiyen.
“In truth, it doesn’t make sense to teach an emperor palace etiquette. The palace itself exists to serve him.”
Anes nodded at Alicia’s wise words.
“Even during the meal, I was nervous the whole time,” Anes admitted.
Even bold Anes had feared that the emperor might lose his temper.
“It’s fine. Today you were only teaching me—me, who lost her memory from illness—not him.”
“But in reality…”
Alicia shook her head gently, signaling Anes to stop. Anes sighed, bowed, and began removing Alicia’s gloves.
“Honestly, today was a risk… maybe even a test.”
No one could correct an emperor’s manners.
That had always been the problem in her past life.
Who would dare lecture a grown emperor? No one.
“Forgive me, Your Majesty, but to me it looked as if the emperor enjoyed the meal very much.”
“If so, then I’m glad. Etiquette isn’t about showing off—it’s about making everyone comfortable in the right setting.”
That was exactly what one would expect from Alicia, who had been trained thoroughly in Rukan.
But after living through one sad life and death, Alicia now saw the world with clearer eyes.
“Of course, today wasn’t a formal banquet, and these things don’t happen overnight.”
“Yes, that’s true.”
Back then, she could never understand Kaiyen.
He had all the power of an emperor, yet he stayed away from the palace, never learning, never guiding the nobles.
“It’s only been one year since your wedding, and His Majesty has only just returned. Don’t think too deeply about it.”
“I know. He’ll leave for Rubeo again soon anyway.”
“What? But he just returned,” Anes said, surprised.
Alicia nodded calmly.
In her past life, unless something was truly urgent, Kaiyen always stayed in Rubeo.
“Of course, the emperor should stay in the palace.”
“But for him, Rubeo is his home.”
Because of that, the nobles grew bolder, forming factions and exploiting the people while the emperor was gone.
Even when rumors spread that innocent citizens were turning into bandits, Kaiyen stayed on the battlefield in Rubeo.
“That was when he was both a prince and Duke of Rubeo. Now it’s different. And besides, Your Majesty, the Empress is here.”
“For him, nothing has changed.”
Alicia didn’t need to revisit painful memories.
She still remembered how the nobles looked at her with disdain and how Rukan scolded her.
The empress, left alone in a palace without an emperor, had been ignored by all.
“Anes, I don’t want much.”
In Rukan, they said everyone’s happiness was decided at birth.
But life itself had taught Alicia something else.
“Even the same person can be happy or unhappy depending on what they want and which path they choose.”
Her newlywed life had been full of despair.
No wedding night, not even a glance from her husband.
And when he said he would never see her alone again, she had cried herself to sleep many nights.
“Your Majesty…?”
“Yes, I am the empress. Normally I should smile or cry depending on every glance or word from the emperor.”
Once you became empress, your life as a person was over.
As long as you didn’t commit a crime or cause political trouble, you stayed there until death.
“His Majesty seemed happy tonight. Doesn’t that make you happy, too?”
In her past life, she would have blushed with joy, saying she had waited a whole year for this.
But now…
“It wasn’t unpleasant… but no, I wasn’t happy.”
Alicia was no longer naïve enough to tie her happiness to his moods.
“I mean it,” she said honestly.
Anes was so shocked she dropped Alicia’s gloves.
“Ah…”
Even with her illness, this calm and clear-eyed Alicia was completely different from before.
“Don’t worry, Anes. I’m not saying this because I’m sick, and I haven’t lost my memory.”
“Then why would you say such things…?”
“If my happiness depends on his, then I’ll never find it—and I’ll never escape unhappiness.”
It didn’t matter who the emperor loved or how much he ignored the empress.
Looking back, all the things that had made her miserable seemed so small.
“You’re still young, Your Majesty… maybe this is only the beginning.”
“We’ve been married only a year, and we’ve just had our first private talk after a year, right?”
Alicia smiled knowingly, as if she could read Anes’s thoughts.
“And yes, I’m only twenty.”
“Yes… You know all this, yet you still speak like that.”
“I told you. I want to find my happiness.”
Her blue eyes shone with determination—like someone who had thought about this for a very long time.
“…The truth is, no one can be happy in this marriage.”
Alicia spoke the truth. Anes bit her lip.
The agreement between Rukan and the imperial family had sacrificed Alicia.
“I would be the one to suffer the most. That’s why I want to escape this unhappy fate—even if it breaks palace rules or Rukan’s teachings.”
Her soft pink lips curved into a smile—calm and graceful, far beyond her age.
“…I will always be on your side, Your Majesty,” Anes said.
Alicia nodded. Knowing she had even one person on her side gave her strength.
“The plan is simple. His Majesty will soon return to Rubeo. Before that… I’ll ask for a divorce.”
Anes’s heart ached, remembering how Kaiyen had left without even sharing a wedding night. This marriage had been doomed from the start.
“My parents are already gone. Father died before I was born. Mother died soon after giving birth to me.”
Anes had often lamented this in her past life, and Alicia had felt like it was truly her own story.
Maybe even before becoming Alicia, she had been alone—this loneliness felt so familiar.
“And Anes, you’ve cared for me like a mother.”
She couldn’t even remember who she used to be, or her real name.
She only remembered wanting a house with a yard and lots of animals.
After living over ten years as Alicia, dying, and returning to being twenty years old… her old world felt far away.
“I believe you’ll always stay with me.”
When she had died, Anes had been the only one by her side.
Knowing even one person was trustworthy gave her the courage to change her life.
“My dream is to divorce, give up my title, and go somewhere quiet… to tend a yard and a garden, and raise animals.”
Even if she could never return to her original world, she could still have that dream.
Not just a tiny room—she could have a small house.
“I want to watch a garden grow, plant vegetables, and teach puppies little tricks as they grow.”
She couldn’t remember her original name, but she could remember watching bright screens and feeling comfort.
She loved the saying that there are no bad dogs, and every child is precious.
She must have been a loner back then, too.
“If that is your wish, Your Majesty, I will go with you anywhere.”
Anes’s voice trembled with emotion.
“Thank you,” Alicia said.
This time, she reached out and held Anes’s hand first.
Warm and firm.
