Chapter 004
* * *
After receiving a treatment-that-wasn’t-really-treatment from Lisa, she stepped out briefly to assess the situation and returned.
This time, she was carrying food.
It was a meal prepared with so much care that it couldn’t even be compared to the scraps I usually ate.
“The children on the streets, gathered to celebrate the Day of Mercy, are eating the same meal. They say the Duke personally gave the order.”
“Really? That’s such a relief.”
I grinned broadly, pretending to be oblivious.
It seemed they had thoroughly shaken down the ledgers the Temple had collected for donation purposes.
‘Since the number of sponsored children is enormous, at least the first digit of the funding amount must have changed.’
I had achieved one of my intended goals. I happily ate the soup.
However, for some reason, Lisa’s expression remained troubled.
When I tilted my head in confusion, she spoke with a heavy look.
“I’m sorry, My Lady.”
“Hmm? What are you sorry for?”
“An adult like me should have stepped forward before you had to speak up like that…”
She seemed to be recalling how I had detailed my plight in front of the priests.
If even the nobles couldn’t hide their discomfort, how much worse must Lisa have felt?
“No, Lisa. Don’t be like that.”
“…Pardon?”
I replied firmly to the blinking Lisa.
“You don’t have to step forward for me.”
There is one thing I realized after Lisa died.
That nothing is as sad as the disappearance of a precious person.
And I never wanted to experience that sorrow again. One experience of having my heart torn apart was enough.
Of course, since I couldn’t say this out loud, I spoke in a deliberately bright voice.
“Besides, the Duke punished him. Bert got into so much trouble with the Duke that he won’t be able to bully me anymore. Right?”
Naturally, that was nonsense.
Having lost money and been humiliated in front of the nobles, the mistreatment toward me would only worsen, never weaken.
Lisa probably knew that too, but…
“…Yes. I’m sure that’s how it will be.”
She spoke with a forced smile.
She was playing along so that I wouldn’t be hurt.
Lisa was truly a kind person.
‘But Lisa, that is how it’s going to be.’
Because I was going to make it so.
Clenching my fist, I took a small bite of the bread—the same bread I had used to teach Bert a lesson—like a winning athlete biting their medal.
“Ouch!”
“A-Ah, My Lady! Are you okay?”
Of course, the fact that the bread was so hard it nearly broke my teeth was a secret known only to Lisa and me.
That night.
Taking advantage of everyone being asleep, I secretly slipped out of my room.
The place I headed for was the Agnito library.
I had something to confirm.
The servants seemed to have gone home early for the Day of Mercy, as the library door opened easily.
‘It should be around here somewhere… hup!’
Tucked away just within my reach was exactly what I was looking for.
It was a history book of the Four Great Ducal Houses, chronicling everything from the successive heads of Agnito to their direct descendants.
The current Empire was protected by four Ducal houses, each possessing a unique supernatural power, with the Imperial family at the center.
In the East, Agnito of Spring, who can hear the voice of God.
In the South, Hellaira of Summer, who can use the power of the wind.
In the West, Lustig of Autumn, who can use the power of the earth.
These three families possessed ‘Supernatural Powers’ granted by God.
On the other hand, there was a family that possessed the power of darkness rather than a divine gift: Stykia of Winter in the North.
Here, ‘darkness’ referred to mana, which was a power different from supernatural abilities.
If supernatural powers were gifts from God, mana was a type of energy generated from the earth, often associated with wicked forces. If one was not careful, they could be consumed by mana and lose their sanity.
It was a power that was as evil as it was strong. It was only natural that the Stykias, who ruled over it, once possessed power rivaling that of the Imperial family.
‘Of course, that’s an old story now.’
I closed the book. No matter how much I searched, I couldn’t find any supernatural power related to regression.
In fact, it was an expected result.
If someone possessed the power of regression, they would have a force strong enough to look beyond a mere Dukedom—perhaps even toward the Imperial throne.
‘Anyway, it’s just as that kid said.’
I recalled a fragment of the past that had now vanished.
It was right around the time I turned thirteen.
The House of Agnito was bustling in anticipation of the Day of Mercy.
Since they had to look good for the Temple and the Imperial family, they were preparing even more grandly, even opening their private coffers.
Today was a day when the orphans on the street could eat their fill and call the priests and nobles “Father” or “Mother” to their heart’s content.
But not me. Since my existence was unknown, I couldn’t get delicious food like the other orphans, nor could I call anyone “Father.”
Actually, it wasn’t strange. It was just a day like any other.
However.
“Waaaa—! Thank you!”
“Linda, did you say thank you to Duke Agnito?”
“Thank you, Your Grace!”
Because the laughter of the other children sounded so loud.
Because I was so envious of it.
Because I was so miserable that even Lisa, my only ally, was dead and gone…
“Heup, h-heuk…”
In the night when everyone was deep asleep. It was when I was sobbing alone.
Tap.
Something fell into the room.
It was a small wad of paper that had come through the cracked window.
I crawled over and unfolded it.
[You’re noisy.]
A message so light it felt as if it were getting straight to the point. Neat handwriting.
I stood up and looked around.
However, no one could be seen outside the dark window.
I stared at it for a moment, then picked up a pen.
Under the pretext that I might manifest divine power later, I had at least been taught how to read and write.
[I’m sorry for being noisy.]
After writing a reply while sniffing to hold back my tears, I opened the window and threw the note outside.
But there was no movement outside.
I, who had hoped to perhaps meet someone else, had to suppress my heart again.
I stood there for a moment, and just as I was about to return to my spot…
Tap.
Something fell again.
Another line of writing was added below mine.
[You look really ugly when you cry.]
You saw me!
I quickly stood up, threw the window wide open, and poked my head out.
But no matter how hard I looked, I couldn’t see even a small silhouette.
I quickly wrote another reply.
[Can you see me?]
And I quickly stepped away from the window, fearing a reply wouldn’t come.
A moment later.
Tap.
A reply arrived.
[I can see you.]
I also replied diligently.
[Then why don’t you show yourself?]
Tap.
[Because you’re ugly when you cry.]
My heart sank.
[I won’t cry anymore. Can’t you show yourself?]
Having hurriedly replied, I poked my face out of the window and rubbed my face vigorously.
But no matter how much time passed, no reply came.
While waiting for a response, I returned to bed and fell into a deep sleep.
Still, for a few days, I didn’t have the chance to think about those notes.
Because on the night I received the note, someone had completely smashed Duke Agnito’s armory.
After the Saint’s power vanished, Duke Agnito had tried to expand his influence through the arms business.
But because the damage occurred right before the Day of Mercy, he couldn’t even conduct a major investigation. Consequently, the people in the Duke’s castle had to live in hushed silence, walking on eggshells around Duke Agnito.
A few days later, late at night.
Tap.
Something arrived through the window.
[It’s quiet today.]
“…!”
A reply had come.
I wrote back with a joyful heart.
[I didn’t cry today.]
[That’s normal.]
[I won’t cry in the future either.]
[Okay.]
That was how our correspondence began.
[My name is Hanisha. What’s yours?]
[I don’t have a name.]
[Then how old are you? I’m 13.]
[Older than you.]
I told him everything, but he didn’t tell me a single thing. Name, age, appearance. None of it.
At most, all I could figure out was that we were around the same age.
[Thank you for coming today. It’s so nice to see you often.]
[I can’t come often.]
[I know. But thank you anyway. Actually… my wish was to make a girl friend my age.]
These were words written with all my heart.
Even so, I thought we were connecting well unlike the first day…
But the conversation for that day ended with those words.
I realized later. That whenever he felt uncomfortable or the situation was unavoidable, he simply wouldn’t reply.
‘He’s prickly…’
I felt a bit sulky, but regardless, I didn’t ask that child anything after that day.
It was my first friend my age. That alone was enough.
