Chapter : 19
āThen Iāll be going.ā
After throwing out such a strange remark, he actually said that and turned to leave.
No way!
This really canāt be happening!!
Why do you keep trying to hide your feelings?
You! I canāt take this anymore.
āYour Highness!ā
I called him urgently.
At my desperate voice, he stopped, and I unleashed a waterfall of words at him.
So he couldnāt possibly misunderstand or hesitate anymore!
āYour Highness, Iām fine! Even if you show me all of your feelings toward me, I really do like you. Iām not afraid, I donāt hate it, I donāt want to run away. You can do whatever you want. You can like me, obsess over me, itās all okay!ā
He had never been able to reveal his feelings, no matter how much I hinted and waited, so finally I laid everything bare.
That it was troublesome if he kept acting so unsure of himself.
He has to spend the next two years in the happy delusion that we both love each other!
Now that Iāve said this much, surely he understands?
Male lead, I like you.
Please, donāt be frustrating anymore.
Just love me openly.
Iāll accept all of your love.
Iāll accept it sweetly until the heroine appears.
Hearing my words, he just stood there blankly, speechless.
As expected of the male leadāhe looks handsome even when dazedā¦.
āCaelin Brockburke.ā
At last, Calix opened his mouth.
āYes, Your Highness the Crown Prince!ā
Yes, say it!
Come on!!
āI donāt like you, nor do I love you. I would never obsess over you. So donāt nurture strange fantasies. Just do as your father wants and get along with Leon. Please, donāt stand in my way anymore.ā
ā????!!!!!!!!ā
What?
What did you just say?
What was that supposed to mean�
I felt as though Iād been smashed in the head with a hammer.
No, something much bigger and harder than a hammer.
Was he⦠still trying to hide his feelings?
But wait⦠this is strange?
Whatās with that expression?
His face looked sincere, like he really meant for me to stop.
No, that canāt be right.
He didnāt look like someone trying to suppress his feelingsā¦
No, his expression, his tone, his postureāthey all looked perfectly confident.
Not at all like someone tortured by love he couldnāt reveal.
That was just⦠the truth, wasnāt it?
!!!!!!!!!
What on earth is going on?
Does he⦠really not love me?
!!!!!!!!
At that moment, a shocking realization crashed down on me, and I suddenly felt as if the entire novelās world was spinning around my head.
I could hardly remember how I made it back home.
It seemed my legs had carried me unconsciously, step after step, until I was back in my room.
After hearing the Crown Princeās words, I wasnāt in my right mind, so I didnāt even recall how we parted ways.
Or maybe Calix had simply left me standing there like a stone statue.
From the moment he spoke, everything around me became hazy.
Because the premise of my novelāthe most important survival condition for me, now living as Caelināhad been overturned.
Calixās absolute love and obsession for her, the one thing that guaranteed Caelinās lifeā¦
It was gone.
I couldnāt understand or interpret how it had vanished, but one thing was clearāit was completely gone.
Collapsed onto my bed, I thought back on every encounter Iād had with Calixāfrom the day we first met until just now in the park.
!!!!!
So thatās it!
Thatās what it was all along!
Finally, everything became clear.
He had never once looked at me with desperate eyes, never with a longing expression.
Always cold, indifferent, sometimes even displeased.
I, as the author of the novel, had been so certain of his love that Iād put a filter over everything he did and said.
But in truthānone of it had been love.
So what have I been doing all this time?
I kept telling someone who was nothing like the Calix of the novel that it was okay to like me, or that I liked himā¦!
Even though I was the daughter of Duke Brockburke, his enemy!
What on earth had I been saying?
Didnāt I even say I liked obsessive, possessive love?
Oh my god!
My whole plan was based on easing his obsession and giving him certainty so that he wouldnāt kill the woman he loved.
But if he never loved me in the first place, then my plan was completely ruined.
The possibility of survival through a mutual love story with Calix had disappeared.
Now only one ending awaited me: when my father and the Empress were massacred by the Crown Prince, Iād be killed too.
And when he killed me, he might even feel relievedālike he was finally rid of a deranged stalker.
The memory of the blade at my throat in the training grounds returned vividly.
My body shivered.
No!
I canāt let that happen!
I refuse to die like that!
I need a new plan!
Another way to survive!
The survival plan I had clung to since the moment I possessed Caelin was now completely derailed.
And facing the reality that I needed to find another path, my body trembled with terror.
After realizing Calixās true heartānot the one I had imagined, but his actual feelingsāmy anxiety skyrocketed, far beyond what I had felt before.
Several months had already passed since I entered this world, and the day of the Emperorās death and Duke Leonās rebellion was approaching.
I begged my father more desperately than ever to abandon his treason, but every time he only repeated that it was already too late.
Since the hope of convincing him through a show of affection between me and Calix had disappeared, I felt utterly powerless.
And then one day, while my days burned away with no countermeasures at all, it happened.
Returning from a walk, I passed by the drawing room and heard an unwelcome voice.
Ah! No wayāheās here again?
Yes, he was.
Eden Darkus, Crown Prince of another empire.
My father, Luke, and Eden were chatting together happily.
In my novel, Eden appeared briefly at the imperial ball and again when Calix killed me. He had never shown up this often, and certainly not at our house.
So why was he here again?
āCaelin, why arenāt you paying respects to Prince Eden Darkus?ā
I stood frozen, dumbfounded at the sight of him, and Father scolded me.
āAh⦠I greet Your Highness the Crown Prince again.ā
āWe meet again, Lady Caelin.ā
He looked positively cheerful.
Youāre still so happy, huh.
Why did you come again? My head is already a mess these days.
āThen Iāll be excusing myself. Iām a little tired from my walk. Please enjoy your time together.ā
I bowed and turned to leave, but then Eden tossed out another ridiculous remark.
āI hear you take long walks. Tomorrow, may I join you? Iād like to stroll around Everen and take a look.ā
What nonsense are you spouting?
āIām sorry, Your Highness. I donāt even take a maid with me when I walk. I prefer to wander alone as I please.ā
In truth, I had a strict routine, but stillālike Iād ever want to walk with you.
What a tease.
The thought of that philosophy book he gave me made me seethe as I tried once again to leave for my room.
But his next words glued my feet to the floor.
āLin, Prince Darkus will be staying with us for a while. Tomorrow, you can show him around Everen.ā
āWhat??ā
I couldnāt help but raise my voice at Fatherās words.
What the hell kind of crap was that?
āLady Caelin, Iāll be counting on you tomorrow. Iāve come simply for a leisure trip this time. There are many places I want to visit.ā
Oh, for crying out loud!
āBut⦠since heās a royal guest, wouldnāt it be more comfortable for him to stay at a palace lodging or a hotel?ā
I tried a weak protest.
But Edenās reply crushed that resistance.
āAs I said, I didnāt come by royal invitation or for diplomacy. I came as the Prime Ministerās personal guest, purely for sightseeing. There are people I wish to meet as wellā¦ā
That someone isnāt me, right?
Go ahead, just try saying itās me!
I glared at him.
Eden only smiled like he found it amusing.
Ugh, so irritating!
This foreign crown prince, who enjoyed exploiting peopleās weaknesses, was supposed to appear later, to fight Calix and then help pair him with Estelle.
Why was he here now, popping up constantly?
Things werenāt working out with the male lead, and instead unwanted side characters kept sticking to me. I sighed.
Well, what can I do?
Since Father invited him to stay, I canāt very well tell him to get out.
Resigned, I tried once more to leave the drawing room.
But again, Eden caught me.
āLady Caelin, did you enjoy the book I gave you last time?ā
This bastard.
Did he think I enjoyed it?
āYes, well, I usually read it before bed.ā
I only had to open it, read one line, and Iād be out like a light.
I hadnāt even finished a single page.
āOh, you read my book before bed every night? Somehow, that makes me feel strange.ā
You know exactly what I meant⦠stop pretending.
āIn the future, please donāt give me such gifts. The content doesnāt suit my philosophy and only makes me angry.ā
āAh, I see. Then this time I brought something more to your taste.ā
He glanced toward the corner of the room.
There, standing unnoticed until now, was a manāEdenās attendant.
Receiving his signal, the man approached with a book.
I said I donāt need it!
āThat wonāt be necessary, Your Highness. My brother likes books, so you should give it to him. I really am tired, so Iāll head up.ā
I scurried toward the door.
But behind me, Edenās voice rang out.
āOh, I didnāt know Lord Luke had such taste in books. I found this one at Everenās night marketāthe very book Lady Caelin was reading. It was hard to get, but I thought it might be fun to have a reading discussion together.ā
Gasp!
Gasp gasp gasp!
I whirled around and dashed toward the attendant.
Safe!
At the critical moment, just before the book passed from the servantās hands to my brotherās, I snatched it.
Eden chuckled.
That rotten Crown Prince!!!!!!!
āSince it was so hard for you to find, of course I must accept it. Thank you very much, Your Highness.ā
I hurriedly said, hugging the book to my chest and dashing to my room.
Eden Darkusās laughter seemed to follow me all the way up.