Chapter 52
Shai falling from the balcony, forgetting everything from the wedding preparations to the wedding period itself, being driven to the annex, the Grand Duke suddenly seizing them while Shai had left the Grand Duchy, the Grand Duke discovering Shai’s illness.
“Ah. I see. That explains why reports had been sparse recently.”
“It was difficult to send letters while we were in the annex. But Marilla is still there as a spy, so the connection isn’t completely severed.”
“It seems Shai has completely forgotten my orders.”
“Yes, it appears so.”
“Zakerin betrayed us, Dera was caught, Marilla is still trusted by Shai… and you let Marilla escape, which is why you’re here before me. Right?”
As William spoke to himself, organizing the situation, Betty nodded with complete trust.
“Yes. Avenge the shame Shai caused you, William. You can do it, right?”
At that, William smiled. The smile that Betty adored.
A gentle, affectionate smile directed solely at her…
“Huh?”
Betty, staring at William as if mesmerized, frowned in confusion.
Startled by the sudden, intense pain, she couldn’t even scream, only staring at the object piercing her body.
Seizing the moment when she couldn’t cry out, the knife that stabbed her severed her carotid artery in one swift motion.
Red blood soaked the floor.
“I almost considered punishing you further for failing your task, but since there was some attachment, I let you go in one blow.”
William murmured casually, looking at Betty, who was collapsing in shock, mouth opening and closing without a sound.
“For being useless yet coming here to trouble me… now that you’ve delivered the news, you’ll disappear as if you never existed.”
William wiped the blood off his hand onto her clothing, coldly stared at the cooling body of Betty, and turned his back without hesitation.
Only the chilling darkness accompanied her final moments.
As William turned, his gaze flashed coldly. If the Grand Duke had moved to this extent, he must already know everything William had done to Shai.
The plan had failed, so it was time to devise a backup.
No matter how clever the Grand Duke was, he couldn’t suppress the intense desire writhing within.
William thought of his long-deceased wife, Nihella.
Unlike himself, aging with time, her face in memory and in portraits remained untouched by age, beautiful as ever. In fact, the more he thought of her, the more beautiful she seemed.
In his youth, being a distant branch of the Alentra count family, he had been angered by his own insignificance.
His desires were vast, but what he could grasp was limited. Moreover, he lacked extraordinary abilities, unable to overturn his circumstances.
Yet frustratingly, Nihella, no matter how far away, always stole his gaze.
Her cyan-gray hair, the clear symbol of the direct line, fluttered in the wind. She wore a kind smile that was nothing special to anyone, yet even when he approached, she treated him with the same courtesy.
William desired her more than anyone else. That was something he could be proud of.
Every time she smiled at him the same way she did at countless others passing by, he wished he could preserve her and keep her entirely by his side.
Eventually, he got the chance to take her in hand.
Yet even now, with her gone, William could not shake the sense of defeat.
That feeling surged every time she showed special affection to Shai, their daughter.
Golden hair, piercing blue eyes. Beautiful, yet bearing no resemblance to Nihella. Every time he saw that face, his anger and inferiority exploded.
He wanted to destroy it.
He wanted to ruin it.
Whenever William looked at Shai, those were the feelings he experienced. There was not a speck of affection in them.
But while Nihella was alive, William never revealed his dark intentions. He knew that if Nihella, a direct descendant, turned away, she could take the countship from him, a distant branch, in an instant.
Had Nihella not died so early, he might have continued pretending to be a somewhat good father to Shai.
But Nihella died, and William no longer needed to show unnecessary mercy to Shai.
William began secretly abusing Shai, veiling it from the world. He knew well the helplessness that comes when no one believes you and you cannot ask for help.
Thus, William molded Shai according to his desires.
He treated her strictly as a tool for his needs. No guilt. Yet to be seen as a good person by those around him, he meticulously acted as one.
But now, that tool was slipping from his grasp.
The marriage to the Grand Duke was not meant to incite her rebellion.
Instead of anger, William quickly calculated his gains. By now, the cooling body of Betty had already been forgotten in his mind.
Use what’s needed, remove what hinders.
That was how he intended to climb higher.
They kissed, explored each other’s flesh, thrilled at each touch, their bodies intertwined.
Not merely physical pleasure, but overflowing affection that words could not fully express.
He recalled the thrill when her slender fingers clenched his shoulders, her body trembling against him in waves, unable to resist her impulses.
Benjamin looked at Shai, lying soundly in his arms. Her exposed shoulders were pale. Clutching the blanket, she held him as if afraid of losing him.
Had she thought he didn’t love her because he never said it?
Probably.
He remembered her, tearful and desperate over the nanny incident, having lost her composure.
He wanted to tell her he loved her.
He wanted to reassure her.
Not just through their bodies, but with words. She so desperately wanted to hear it, to be reassured, and he wanted to prove it to her.
He wanted to express all the emotions inside him in whatever form, in the way she wanted.
Never had he resented the limitations he had so much.
When their abilities manifested, their parents felt sorrow rather than joy. Born from a loving marriage, the affection for the child was intense.
Even after coming of age, a child remained a child.
Records noted the manifestation of abilities in the Riversta Grand Ducal family, and that they were irregularly inherited.
Abilities in the Grand Ducal line were associated with superhuman strength and heightened senses, often restricted in language.
The limitations became apparent the moment the abilities manifested. It was like instinctively knowing how to breathe without being taught.
At first, he thought it merely meant being unable to say “I love you” in words or writing, which didn’t seem too bad. Some ancestors couldn’t speak at all.
Compared to that, this limitation seemed minor.
Until he met Shai.
She pleaded desperately for him to say he loved her, and he could not utter a single word. His heart raced for her, yet he could convey none of it.
No matter the gold or treasures he could offer, no matter how he gave her everything she desired, he could never express the love for her stirring inside him.
Before, he had assumed she would understand without words. That his actions alone would suffice.
But love that cannot be conveyed through words or writing only heightened her anxiety in dangerous situations.
Shai was the most anxious woman he had ever seen, yet she endured and persevered.
Thus, he vaguely understood that to soothe her anxiety, he had to say he loved her.
Her pain hurt him.
And yet, in a way, he was relieved knowing that her anxiety would make her cling to him, never letting go.
The more he became her anchor, the more she would remain by his side.
He had her, and he would continue to, but still desired to possess her completely.
As if she had always been his even before he realized he had fallen in love.
Benjamin wanted to convey this fierce affection that had captured him to her.
He knew she misunderstood his love, and that her feelings might not match his.
Even if she didn’t love him, Benjamin could not let her go.
Life without her was unthinkable.
Shai stirred slightly, as if waking. Benjamin tried to soothe her, but she seemed aware of what she had done the previous day and twisted to slip from his arms.
He drew her back firmly into his embrace. Seeing her body tense, he realized she was awake.
What happened yesterday wasn’t mere instinct. He wanted to convey his love through warmth since he couldn’t say it in words. He wanted to show her how precious she was, and how much he loved her, in any way possible.
Benjamin persistently kissed the nape of her neck, whispering,
“Today, I’ll start first.”
Before Shai could speak, he pressed his lips to hers. She tried to push against his chest but eventually wrapped her hands around his neck.
Breath mingled, and in this moment, they soaked each other in a fullness that filled their hearts completely.
