Chapter 39
Wrapped in his strong arms, Shay could feel Benjamin’s distinctive scent and sweat—not unpleasant, but strangely alluring. A cool hint of mint lingered as well.
Benjamin whispered just loud enough for Shay to hear, as she tried to pull away, embarrassed by the many eyes around them.
“As your husband, it’s only proper that I see you off like this.”
Shay’s movement froze at his words. She lifted her head and looked up at the man holding her. Benjamin lowered his head to meet her gaze. Their eyes met.
Benjamin’s face drew closer to hers. Shay instinctively closed her eyes. The word kiss flashed through her mind.
Smack.
Yet, contrary to her expectation, Benjamin did not press his lips to hers. Instead, he brought his lips close to hers—so close that it confused onlookers.
A kiss near her lips—subtle, yet teasing.
So you’ve been waiting for a kiss.
Feeling his true intent, her face flushed crimson. She should have felt more embarrassment, but instead, there was a stronger sense of longing.
Benjamin gently released her.
“My wife must feel lonely in the mansion. Travel safely.”
“Yes, I will.”
After escorting Shay into the carriage, Benjamin remained at the front.
“Take good care of my lady.”
His eyes commanded the knights with an intimidating intensity. A cold, merciless aura he never showed Shay.
“Yes, sir!”
The knights’ voices rang out loudly.
He must still treat me gently, Shay thought. While he could be stern with her, it was never this frightening.
As the carriage moved slowly, Benjamin gradually became smaller through the window, never leaving his post until he was just a dot in the distance.
“You two look so happy together—it’s lovely to see,” Rosa said cautiously from inside the carriage. Shay responded lightly.
“I see.”
Yet, despite her composed response, the spot where Benjamin’s lips had brushed hers still burned. Shay touched the spot lightly with her finger.
I wanted him to kiss me. It felt so good to be close to him.
Still, a conflicting emotion stirred in her heart.
But I also wanted to run. Even though it feels good, I fear he might be different from what I think. That he might be like my father.
Her inner conflict, dark and open-mouthed as ever, waited for her.
To succumb or to resist.
Shay always struggled.
Her bruises and wounds—scars inflicted even when she had done nothing wrong.
She never wanted to lose to her emotions, so she tried to observe her heart objectively.
I won’t run. If these sweet yet uneasy feelings exist because Benjamin has affection for me, then I will stand firmly and face them. I won’t give up. I won’t yield to my father, who always forced me to give up. I’m tired of pretending to give up just to survive.
She could not accept resigning to injustice; it was against her nature.
It’s okay to feel anxious. Hurt and unable to trust—that’s understandable. But if Benjamin is sincere, then I must also confront him sincerely without running away.
Shay comforted herself in the moving carriage.
The carriage traveled all day, arriving near the Humphrey estate village by evening. Dust rose as the wheels came to a halt.
The knight spoke to Shay:
“Even though this journey must be tiring, you endure it well.”
“There are those who ride armed horses, so this is manageable. However, my maid seems a bit seasick, so it would be good to rest briefly before entering the estate,” Shay replied with a smile. She was accustomed to enduring hardships.
“Understood. We’ll rest here in the village.”
Next to her, Rosa’s eyes glistened with tears.
“I’m sorry, my lady…”
“It’s fine. We’ve arrived. If you’re tired, we can take it slow.”
Thus, the carriage and horses stopped in a quiet area away from the village square. Some children playing ball glanced at them, curiosity and surprise in their eyes.
Not far away stood a mansion of red and brown brick.
“That must be the Humphrey estate,” Shay said.
“Yes,” one of the knights answered. Shay and Rosa stepped out, the cold breeze seeming to refresh Rosa.
Children whispered among themselves at the sight of Shay, so beautifully dressed.
“Could she be a fairy? She’s so pretty!”
“No wings. Fairies don’t ride in carriages. Must be a person.”
“Then is she a princess? Has a princess come here?”
“Look at the crest on the carriage. Isn’t it the Grand Duke of Riverstar’s carriage?”
“Then could that beautiful lady be the Duchess?”
A boy’s voice rang out louder than the others:
“No way! The Duchess is supposed to be mean to everyone and have a bad temper. She can’t be this pretty!”
A tense silence followed. A woman doing laundry ran over to cover the boy’s mouth, but his words had already been heard.
A female knight trudged forward, her face stern.
“Are such words about the Duchess normal here? Where did the child hear this?”
Under her imposing presence, the child trembled on the ground. The child was too startled even to cry.
“I’m sorry. The child doesn’t know any better. There was no intention to insult the Duchess.”
But the knight was unmoved.
“As knights of the Duchess’s household, we cannot overlook such words.”
At that moment, a fair, delicate hand stopped the knight.
“Sir Lily Argent, the child is trembling. Enough.”
“But Duchess… if children are saying this, it means the adults must be talking too. If we let this pass…”
“I understand your concern. But if you punish the child, people will believe it even more.”
Shay’s words made the knight step back.
She smiled warmly at the trembling woman and child. Her smile was radiant and pure.
“Hello, what’s your name?”
The woman answered haltingly for the frozen child.
“Sam. Sam.”
“Good, Sam. I’m the Duchess who you said was so mean. Do I still seem very bad now?”
The child shook their head while frozen. Shay’s gentle smile remained.
“How many children are in this village?”
Encouraged by her soft tone, the child finally spoke, shyly.
“Over thirty…”
“I see,” Shay said gently. “Do you all like cookies?”
The children lined up in front of the Duchess’s party. Shay handed each child a silk pouch filled with cookies—made with better ingredients than usual, offering a sweetness the children had never tasted.
She spoke with them, patted their heads, and occasionally received flowers or simple candies in return.
Initially tense, the children now enjoyed the festival-like atmosphere. Even worried adults looked upon Shay with admiration.
Among the children, the Duchess became known as the “fairy-like, beautiful Duchess” and the “kind and gentle Duchess.”
Behind the carriage, the knights held large silk sheets while Rosa wrapped them with silk ribbons.
Shay approached the back of the carriage.
Rosa said, “I’m not sure if it’s okay to use all the cookies the nurse made for you…”
“It’s fine, Rosa. We can ask her to make more later. The children are happy, and that’s what matters.”
Lily, cutting the silk, looked at Shay shyly.
“Your Grace, I realize now how wise you are. I only followed the rules, but you win people’s hearts so gently.”
“No, Lily. I’m grateful you spoke up. Even when I treated people poorly, you didn’t hold back on my behalf. I was reassured.”
“Your Grace…”
Lily looked at Shay, moved. Shay smiled back, then turned to Rosa.
“I wish we could talk more, but the children are waiting. Rosa, can you take the wrapped cookies with you?”
“Yes, my lady.”
“I’ll be back soon. We need to distribute the cookies and reach the Humphrey estate before sunset. It would be rude to arrive too late.”
“Yes, I’ll work quickly,” Rosa replied.
Shay held the silk pouches and returned to the carriage.
Rumors could spread anywhere. After insulting the maid candidates and sending them away, locals could say anything.
Shay knew that even doing this, some people would continue to speak ill.
Still, if good deeds like this spread little by little, perhaps eventually people’s perception of me will improve…
Gentleness might not always work, but this was the best she could do for now.
