Chapter 35
Benjamin basically had a near-expressionless poker face, making it hard to read his thoughts.
“He’s answered honestly so far, so maybe if I ask, he’ll speak candidly.”
Still, Shay found it difficult to speak up.
The stronger her feelings for someone grew, the more she wanted to hide her own flaws.
Right now, since she had lost her memory, she could smile in front of him, but when her memories returned, wouldn’t guilt and embarrassment come rushing back? Wouldn’t she fear that her emotions might overwhelm her, causing him to treat her differently?
Even though she knew in her mind that he had accepted her even when she had behaved badly, the thought still frightened her.
Shay disliked being consumed by such emotions, so she changed the subject.
“I’ve heard monsters possess incredible strength. Wasn’t it said that if they hadn’t been subdued in the Diviran region, they could have threatened other regions of the empire as well?”
“That’s correct. The forms and abilities of monsters vary, but what’s even more threatening is their intense appetite. There are cases where a decapitated monster bites anything that comes into its mouth before its life force is fully depleted.”
“That’s almost instinctual behavior.”
“It goes beyond appetite—it’s closer to gluttony. No matter how much other creatures eat, they stop once full, but monsters do not.”
“That must have been extremely dangerous at times.”
“There were many moments when we couldn’t afford to let our guard down.”
“Yet you overcame all those moments and protected people from danger. That’s a tremendous accomplishment.”
As Shay expressed her admiration, Benjamin ran a hand through his hair and lowered his gaze.
“…I merely did what I had to do.”
“Even a handsome man looks cute when embarrassed.”
“Many people avoid responsibilities even if they’re a bit difficult, so doing what needs to be done is admirable in my eyes.”
“I’d like to see him a bit more embarrassed, to see other sides of him… but I’ll save that for next time.”
Shay ended the conversation warmly. She wanted to compliment him further, but overdoing it might make it seem insincere.
Benjamin, though blunt, carefully spoke again.
“Boating…”
“Pardon?”
“Do you enjoy boating?”
Shay answered readily.
“Yes, I do.”
“When our busy schedules are over, shall we go boating together?”
Shay’s eyes sparkled as she said,
“Yes! I’d love to go.”
Boating was a common activity for noblewomen or young nobles during romantic outings. Yet Shay had never even been near water, even with other young ladies. William’s superficial worry was that she might get into trouble since she couldn’t swim, but the deeper reason was a twisted desire to deprive her of even small joys.
“Do you prefer lakes or rivers? Or even if it’s a bit farther, the sea?”
“First, I think a lake would be nice. I’ve heard of a lake in the Grand Duchy with pink sand and emerald-colored water.”
Pretty, cute, sparkling things were delightful to behold.
Shay’s face lit up with excitement.
“You mean Lake Soia. Aside from the pink sand, it has beautiful pebbles with blue waves. It’s also famous as a habitat for colorful parrots that mimic human speech. You’ll often see pairs of parrots perched on the surrounding trees.”
“I want to go!”
Shay couldn’t hide her excitement and her voice rose before calming down.
Benjamin’s face softened into a smile at her reaction.
His red lips curved, red eyes lazily narrowed before rounding again. Strands of black hair swayed near his eyes, enhancing the atmosphere.
It was a seductive smile.
“Then after visiting the Count’s estate, let’s plan a day to go to the lake. Or we could just leave on a windy day without setting a date—it might be even more fun.”
Her heart thumped rapidly.
Shay couldn’t tell if it was excitement for the trip or because the man before her seemed unusually charming.
“I’m really looking forward to it.”
She couldn’t take her eyes off him, smiling as if entranced. It was a smile anyone would find utterly lovable.
Benjamin paused at that sight, then replied with a firm expression.
“I’m really looking forward to it too.”
A smile so beautiful it seemed fragile, as if it could break if touched.
Shay didn’t glare at him, nor did she look at him with contempt or hatred.
“Just that alone is enough…”
Benjamin swallowed the rest of his thoughts. It was hard to put his current feelings into words.
Yet he did not forget what needed to be done.
“Next week, Shay will be away from the estate for at least four days.”
There were matters he needed to attend to while she was gone.
He carefully checked the dates and reviewed his plan once more.
Shay looked happier than ever.
He wanted to protect that smile. He wanted to see more expressions from her, to know her better.
“Then, as a reward, may I stay here tonight?”
Shay, who had been smiling, instantly stopped. Her pupils widened, showing surprise, but she tried to maintain a calm expression.
Though a little impatient, she spoke, wanting to see more expressions from him.
After clearing her throat, she said,
“Since this is the Grand Duke’s bedroom, it’s not impossible…”
She was flustered. Her title had changed from just “Grand Duke” to her official title.
“Then, may I have permission?”
“……”
“I like things stated clearly. And…”
Benjamin raised his hand and gently tapped Shay’s lips.
He wanted to touch them.
Soft lips touched his fingertips and released.
“Call me by my name. I said so.”
Her bright blue eyes stared at him with piercing clarity.
The exact opposite of his red eyes.
Her eyes reflected him, shimmering.
He wished to be the only one reflected in them. He wanted her to imprint herself as his.
At that moment, Shay’s gaze changed.
There was a clear determination in her blue eyes.
“Benjamin. I’m not ready yet.”
She was someone who seemed endlessly fragile but could be decisive when needed.
How many other sides of her did he not yet know?
“When you’re ready, you’ll tell me first.”
First. Whatever it was, she would tell him first.
Benjamin said this and smiled faintly.
He had realized at some point that her reactions varied whenever he smiled.
If there was a weapon he could use, he would use it fully. That was basic for a warrior.
“Yes, I will tell you first.”
Her clear blue eyes focused on him.
“Because you’re my husband.”
Indeed. He was her husband. She was his wife. She was his own.
“That was dangerous.”
Shay exhaled deeply after Benjamin left.
“I’ve definitely fallen hard.”
When he said he would stay the night, she almost nodded. Even without her memories, there was nothing wrong between them—his temptation was irresistible.
“He seems unaware of his own charm. That occasional contrast from his usual bluntness makes one’s heart race.”
Shay placed her hand on her chest, trying to calm the floating sensation of excitement. Her heart beat fast like the fierce flapping of wings. Rosa had already entered the room to help prepare for bed.
Regaining her composure, Shay called Rosa over. This was not the time to be lost in thought.
“Rosa. I want to quietly meet my former maids in the annex.”
“All three… you mean all three?”
Rosa asked, surprised. The honorifics slipped out unconsciously, recalling how they were treated before.
Shay replied with a faint sigh, as if no longer angry.
“If you say it like that, they must have been quite influential.”
“The mistress cherished them very much.”
“Indeed, I suppose so.”
Shay understood why the Grand Duchy had treated them that way, given her vulnerable position if William tried to exploit her weaknesses.
“Calling all three at once would be too conspicuous. For now, can you call Jacquin?”
Of the three, Betty was the simplest, yet nothing carried more power than human emotion. Since she had a connection with her father, bribing her wouldn’t be easy. Dera was too devious to even consider.
Jacquin was the easiest target to bribe.
Money was what Jacquin valued most. That was the angle Shay intended to use.
Rosa, seeming worried, fiddled with her hands before replying,
“Understood.”
Shay planned to act on the assumption that the three maids didn’t know she had partially lost her memory. If they were unaware, she might be able to probe them about her father’s schemes.
“If they knew I had forgotten my father’s orders, they might act differently and deny everything. I’ll have to offer Jacquin a large sum to make her comply.”
To be certain, Shay asked Rosa once more.
“Do you think they know I’ve lost my memory?”
“They wouldn’t. The Grand Duke ordered secrecy, and a friend in the annex said they had no idea.”
“I see.”
Shay decided to proceed according to plan.
