Chapter 31
The tea and cookies were placed on the trolley, and the hairdressing began.
Shai felt the hands styling her hair and thought of the most prominent family among the maids she had driven away.
“The Humphrey family served the Grand Duke’s house faithfully for a long time. Wasn’t the lady of the Humphrey family named Bianca?”
Her hair was braided up, and pearl ornaments were set in place.
“I can’t remember if I rejected the report because I didn’t recall, or if I found fault before even looking at it… it’s frustrating. I can’t figure it out alone. I should just ask Melania. That’s how I’ll handle it…”
A necklace made of small pearls was placed around her neck.
“But more than that, the problem is my father.”
Outwardly, her father appeared to think of others first, but in reality, he acted solely for his own benefit.
“I was naive to think he would be satisfied just with the profit he gained from marrying me off to the Riverstar Grand Duke’s house.”
Shai admitted her own innocence. Even after the marriage, he wanted to gain influence or profit by using her as the Grand Duchess of Riverstar. Sending along the three maids who followed his orders was part of that.
It was clear that William had made her do something. She didn’t know what it was, but she must have sworn to herself that she wouldn’t allow things to go as he wished before she lost her memory.
“Being dragged around by my father’s orders means he held some weakness over me. Even now, I can’t tell Benjamin everything, and I probably couldn’t have said this either.”
It was hard to grasp. Shai had a strong attachment to life, but she deliberately kept very few things precious in it. If she created something valuable, there was always a fear it would be taken away by her father.
There should only have been the nanny, and the nanny was now by her side. The nanny’s family lived quietly in the countryside without any special problems.
“If it wasn’t the nanny, then someone must have harmed me… The doctor said my health was good aside from the trauma. My heart looked weak, but it wasn’t pathological.”
Her outfit was adjusted, and a pearl bracelet was fastened to her wrist.
“I could even say I’m healthier than when I was in the Alentra Count family.”
Shai thought bitterly.
William often tormented her mentally, but he never actually laid a hand on her to leave bruises or scars. He believed such things were for amateurs.
Instead, he used poison.
Whenever he sensed the slightest resistance from Shai, he would administer poison in amounts that wouldn’t kill her.
The hands of the maids holding her arms.
Forcing her mouth open. Pouring poison into her body as she struggled.
The sensation of poison trickling down her throat.
The fear of dying. The crushing loneliness of having no ally.
The fear of pain after the poison spread. The helplessness of being unable to overcome it no matter how hard she tried.
She had to beg to survive.
Sometimes, even begging didn’t help, and the antidote was delayed, forcing her to endure it herself.
“You earned the price of the antidote. Good girl.”
William would say this with shining eyes and apparent delight. She could never forget his vile laugh.
Being poisoned, writhing in pain, receiving the antidote—these experiences repeated many times.
Until William deemed her completely submissive.
All of this was disguised as colds or fevers. Only William and his three loyal maids knew of her suffering.
Shivers ran over her body at the memories of that horror.
The helplessness and fear from that time struck her spine like lightning.
But there was one thing William didn’t know.
Even in that agonizing pain, Shai never gave up on life. The more he tormented her, the stronger her will to never submit grew.
What sustained her through it all was the memory of being loved.
It is not normal for one person to maliciously torment another.
A proper life is not like that.
It is wrong for someone to wield another’s will entirely according to their own desires rather than through persuasion.
She mulled over this repeatedly to avoid giving up.
“I won’t give up my life because of someone like that!”
Whenever she felt wronged, angry, or frustrated because of William, Shai separated him emotionally. The title “father” carried too many emotions, so she referred to him in the third person in those moments.
Near the end of the hairdressing:
“Your Highness, the Grand Duke, have you arrived?”
Marilla and Rosa bowed politely with their greeting.
“Benjamin is here!”
Her heart leaped.
Shai paused for a moment and turned to greet him gently.
“I heard you’ve been busy and even having meals in your study, so how did you come here?”
Seeing his face made her happy. To avoid showing too much excitement, Shai pressed her lips together.
Benjamin came closer and replied:
“Even if I’m busy, it’s only proper to see my wife’s face, so I stopped by.”
“Ah… I see…”
Hearing him speak so seriously made it feel less like a joke. She realized that having once used the word “husband,” she would likely continue calling him “my husband” from now on.
“If I think of it as a pet name, it’s not so bad… Oh my. I can’t believe liking someone can make you this childish.”
Benjamin, unaware of her thoughts, looked at the cookies on the trolley.
“It seems you were having a snack.”
“Yes. These are cookies I liked as a child, made by the nanny. Your Highness, would you like to try one?”
“I won’t refuse.”
Benjamin said this and added:
“Will you feed it to me?”
“Huh?”
Shai thought she misheard, but she hadn’t. Benjamin leaned toward her with his mouth open.
“Feed me.”
It was ironic: a large man, armed with a serious face and blunt tone, waiting with his mouth open for a cookie in front of her. Rosa and Marilla froze as if turned to stone.
“Why is he suddenly like this? Did he hear something? But…”
Even in her surprise, Shai’s honest thought slipped out.
“He’s cute…!”
Shai knew it. Anyone else might see it as intimidating. Maybe her taste was strange. Perhaps it was just love-struck eyes.
“This is hard. I can wait, but don’t make me wait too long.”
Eventually, Shai, overwhelmed by his presence, fumbled and picked up a cookie, placing it in Benjamin’s mouth. He ate it neatly. A man so coordinated made the motion look effortless.
“This tastes like the cookies from your childhood.”
“Yes.”
The taste was slightly different from before, but Shai didn’t mention it, not wanting to embarrass the nanny. Benjamin didn’t comment on the flavor either.
“I am glad to share these memories with you, Shai. I hope we can continue to do this together.”
Shai hesitated briefly and replied:
“…We will. We are married, after all.”
“Married…”
Benjamin repeated the word, still unreadable. Then he asked:
“When do you plan to meet the daughters of the families you dismissed?”
“I’ll discuss it with Melania today. I’ll let you know once we set a date.”
“Please don’t overexert yourself, as your health still needs monitoring.”
“Thank you for your concern.”
Then Shai, feeling playful, added:
“If I come back crying because things didn’t go well, husband, you must comfort me properly.”
Benjamin’s brow furrowed slightly. He replied bluntly:
“I am not skilled at comforting. So never cry. If you feel like crying, go make the other person cry instead.”
“That would give me a bad reputation.”
“Better than you crying.”
“I’ll try not to make anyone cry or cry myself. I can’t promise it will go well.”
Benjamin said gravely:
“If you don’t want to make others cry or cry yourself, you may cry on me. I don’t like crying, but it’s fine if you cry on me.”
“Oh my.”
Shai gave a small exclamation. Rosa tried to hide her embarrassment, and Marilla looked elsewhere calmly.
“He’s serious even when joking. He says something that could be misunderstood, but he means it completely seriously.”
“How can I respond to a joke like that?”
“It’s your words, so I must take them seriously.”
“So that’s why I was so selfish before losing my memory?”
“It was fine.”
Hearing “fine” unconditionally, Shai let out a hollow laugh and replied:
“It seems like you’d be fine with anything I do.”
“You may do anything within what I can handle. But…”
Benjamin’s eyes suddenly shone intensely, almost piercing.
“You must stay by my side.”
The intensity was almost electrifying, yet Shai liked it.
As if he wanted her to be his, she wanted him to be hers.
Others might not understand, but that was Shai’s heart.
“Since we’re married, we’ll be together.”
Shai answered calmly.
Benjamin, staring at her, said:
“The cookie tastes good. May I have one more?”
“Yes.”
Shai, without thinking, picked up another and placed it near his mouth.
This time, Benjamin opened his mouth wider to bite it, and Shai’s fingertip was slightly nipped.
