Chapter 12
“We’ll be getting married in three months, so make preparations, Melania.”
At those words, Melania found herself—without thinking—asking her master to repeat the order for the first time.
“Pardon?”
Once the political marriage had been decided, he chose to skip the engagement and bring the wedding date forward. Someone with the power of the Duke of Riverstar could ignore formalities and procedures if he wished.
And this was the Duke of Riverstar we were talking about.
Melania knew the Duke possessed immense physical strength and was just as sharp-witted. On top of that, he had both noble lineage and great political power.
Even the Emperor sometimes had to yield to him.
The previous Duke had been more scholar than knight—gentle and quiet by nature—and had married a woman from the Imperial Knights.
From them, the current Duke had inherited both his mother’s martial strength and his father’s intellect.
He was not the type to give orders without reason—a rational man.
“Spare no expense; prepare everything with the finest quality, and give her whatever she wants.”
At first, she convinced herself this was simply for the sake of the ducal family’s prestige. But as time went on, Melania realized it wasn’t that at all.
Her master genuinely loved his lady.
No matter how willful Shai was, no matter how unreasonable her demands, he was ready to grant them all—he longed for her.
It was a one-sided kind of love.
Though his taciturn nature kept it from showing much, the Duke clearly had feelings for his wife.
And while the Duke was a generous master within the bounds of reason, if anyone crossed the line, he could be merciless.
Yet he never treated the Duchess that way.
He even required the servants to meet her difficult demands.
Melania still remembered the first day she met the Duchess.
A haughty tilt of the chin. A posture full of carelessness.
A manner far removed from refinement or grace—someone who spoke and acted only according to her own needs and desires.
“You’re the head lady’s maid?”
“Yes.”
“The maids I brought from my family are much more comfortable, so I’ll have them serve as my personal attendants.”
“I’ve prepared a selection of loyal maids from vassal families, chosen especially for you, my lady.”
“No need. Young ones will try to seduce my husband, and old ones will just lecture me in a boring way.”
She ignored every procedure of the ducal household.
From the day she arrived until now, the Duchess had never once asked Melania’s name, nor called her by it.
She only ever called her “head maid,” as if she were beneath notice.
And now, after that incident, she had changed so drastically…
Melania brushed a finger over the ring on her hand. The feel of it against her skin was undeniable.
The Duchess Melania had seen for over a year was nothing like this.
People don’t change so easily.
It seemed too far-fetched to think she’d changed simply because she’d lost a year’s worth of memories.
If she hasn’t changed, but rather returned to her original self…
Melania remembered one day when the Duchess, having sent everyone away, stood alone by the window.
Her face had been calm and composed—not sharp or haughty—and there was an air of dignity in her upright posture. She’d been deep in thought about something.
The expression was so striking that even from afar, Melania remembered it.
If that was the real her, and the way she acted in the ducal house was the fake…
But why would she deliberately behave in a way that ruined her own reputation?
Melania could not tell which was the Duchess’s true self. And, true to her cautious nature, she reserved judgment.
One thing was certain—this change would greatly benefit the ducal household.
After meeting Melania, Shai took a nap.
She thought she was fine, but her body still hadn’t completely recovered from the shock of her fall.
Shai sat up and walked toward the large window.
It’s already evening.
Outside, the sun was setting in the distance.
My reputation and relationships here will take time to repair.
Telling people to trust you with a few words doesn’t make them trust you.
But if she showed, little by little, that she had changed, she could win back their confidence.
Since the way she’d acted here before was fake, returning to her real self wouldn’t be hard.
She knew, however, that winning people’s hearts was never easy.
Father must have had some plan… and I didn’t want to go along with it… and those three maids seem to have been sent to watch me. Did my sharp and irritable behavior have to do with Father’s plan? Or did I just act out recklessly because I felt I’d end up being nothing but Father’s puppet anyway?
“Which was it, Shai?”
She asked her memoryless self. Of course, no answer came.
And what did I think of Benjamin? He’s blunt, yes, but he’s never treated me badly. So why was I so horrible to him?
She traced little circles on the window glass with her finger, but again, no answer.
Opening the window, she placed her hands on the sill.
A sudden gust blew, scattering her golden hair like waves.
She had once thought life was like the wind—no matter how much you stepped into it, nothing stayed in your grasp.
But maybe now it could be different.
There’s still so much I don’t know… but compared to before, there’s hope.
That alone felt like enough.
The wind on her face was cool. From the sound of chirping, there must have been a bird in the tree outside.
Curious, Shai leaned out a bit to see.
Two small yellow birds sat side by side, singing, with a lovely blue tint near their feathers.
Suddenly—yank!—she was pulled sharply backward.
Startled by the rough motion, she turned around.
“Isn’t that dangerous?”
A man’s blunt voice and disapproving face greeted her. Even frowning, his face was handsome enough to make her chuckle.
“The windowsill is high—unless I climbed up here on purpose, I wouldn’t fall.”
Her reply to his overreaction only made Benjamin’s brow furrow further.
“The balcony railing is high as well. Be careful.”
At that, Shai had no retort.
Right. It hasn’t been long since I fell from the balcony—it must look careless of me. But just looking out the window doesn’t mean I’d fall unless I…
Her thought stopped cold as a possibility struck her. Her heart thudded.
Unless she’d done it on purpose.
A fall from the second-floor balcony—enough to get hurt, but not necessarily fatal. Possibly even unharmed if lucky.
But why would I?
The idea that she might have discovered something about herself she didn’t know made her skin crawl. Her face went pale.
Seeing her reaction, Benjamin, still holding her from pulling her back, placed a hand on her back to steady her.
“Are you unwell?”
“No, no. I even just woke from a nap. I think I was just startled because you—no, because Benjamin—you seemed so angry.”
It was a flimsy excuse, but she had to say something.
She knew how absurd it would sound to say she might have fallen from the balcony on purpose.
Shai had always been someone with a strong will to live.
Even under her father’s scorn, she had endured, refusing to lose herself.
Why would she act as if she’d given up on life? And if she truly wanted to die, the second floor was too low—she’d at least choose the third floor.
If she had done it deliberately, there must have been a very compelling reason.
While she was lost in confusion, Benjamin said defensively, looking a bit flustered, “I wasn’t angry.”
“You were angry.”
“That wasn’t my intent.”
“Then what was your intent?”
At that, Benjamin fell silent. The dissatisfied look on his face was unexpectedly cute, and Shai, hiding her tangled thoughts, smiled sweetly and asked,
“Were you worried about me?”
“…”
She had only asked playfully, but Benjamin turned his gaze away with a stiff face. Wondering if she had teased him too much, she reassured him,
“There was a cute bird outside the window, so I leaned out to see. I wasn’t going to fall. I’ll be careful.”
Only then did Benjamin meet her eyes.
“You like cute things?”
Looks like his mood has improved a bit.
“Yes. Cute things feel harmless.”
Benjamin studied her expression, then said hesitantly,
“I… if I became cute… would I feel harmless to you?”
