Chapter 6
“Uh, um…”
“Why, what’s wrong?”
“I can… lie down on my own.”
Shy answered with her face flushed red. Her expression stayed calm, but her heart was pounding wildly.
It wasn’t that she’d never spoken with noblemen before, but under her father’s strict control, Shy had never so much as brushed fingers with anyone, let alone courted.
He’s my husband, so of course he’d be used to touching me… but I’m not.
Her husband—an utterly unfamiliar man.
She could feel her guard rising like soft down.
This wasn’t about whether she liked or disliked Benjamin. It was something instinctively etched into her after years of pressure.
“It’s only natural to help someone who’s unwell, Shy.”
Oddly enough, the hardness in Benjamin’s tone made her feel relieved. He touched her as if it were natural, but that was probably because of times she couldn’t remember.
Shy pulled the blanket up to her chin and was about to close her eyes when her gaze fell on the flowers surrounding her.
“Thank you for the flowers.”
The Grand Duke was frightening and curt, but at least he showed, through his actions, that he was thinking of her.
She felt she ought to respond in kind.
Even if she was embarrassed, Shy did not relax her guard.
She still had no idea what kind of person he was.
At her words, Benjamin straightened and turned his head. He was such a large man that, from where she lay, she couldn’t see his expression.
“I only did what I should. Now, rest, Shy.”
Without even waiting for her reply, Benjamin walked away. Shy had no particular expectations, so she only watched his broad back as he left without feeling disappointed.
He really is a big man.
Shy was of average height, but next to Benjamin, she thought she must look small. She kept that thought as she memorized the sight of his retreating figure.
In the end, the Grand Duke gave her what she wanted—he assigned the maid she had requested to be her personal attendant.
Just as his title “Grand Duke of Ice and Blood” suggested, a cold, stern air surrounded him. But still, she felt he respected her as his wife.
He may be a sudden husband, but it seems things between us weren’t bad. It’s not even as if I did well in my role as Grand Duchess.
Even though it was for her own sake, the past “her” who had received all this wasn’t here now, so Shy felt as if she were stealing someone else’s belongings. It was a strange feeling.
Perhaps it was because she was still a patient, but she could tell the servants were being overly careful around her. They seemed tense, determined not to make even the smallest mistake.
Looks like I definitely lived luxuriously… and probably nitpicked over the smallest things. Why would I do that?
She had no answer. Shy fell into thought.
The Grand Duke said it was a political marriage.
Benjamin had told her to call him by name, but in her mind she still referred to him as “the Grand Duke.” The emotional distance couldn’t be closed so easily.
It’s hard enough to find such a good match. Father must have been thrilled to sell me off at a high price.
The Count’s House of Alantra held some influence, but it was nothing compared to a Grand Ducal House.
I don’t know how he made the connection, but once the marriage was arranged, he must have been greedily delighted.
Shy thought bitterly.
Of course, I might have been at least a little happy too. The only way to escape the Count’s House of Alantra was through marriage. Running away with nothing would’ve felt too unfair.
Outside, dressed in finery, she had been treated as the most precious daughter. But the moment she returned home, disregard, contempt, and constant surveillance clung to her like a shadow.
Even in that environment, I did my duties properly… so why did I behave like this here? I want to do well now.
Why had she acted like a madwoman in such good circumstances?
And why… why did I keep the same maids who constantly monitored me back then? This place is far from the capital—once I arrived, I could have sent them away immediately.
She couldn’t remember, so she couldn’t ask herself.
There were plenty of other questions too.
This is the Grand Duke’s estate, yet I haven’t seen a single lady-in-waiting. So far, I’ve only seen maids.
A Grand Duke’s manor without ladies-in-waiting—it was definitely an unnatural sight.
Just then, a sudden voice broke her thoughts.
“My lady, I’ve brought the maid you requested as your exclusive attendant.”
The voice outside the door belonged to the head maid.
“Let her in.”
At Shy’s permission, the door opened immediately. The head maid entered with perfect form, followed by the orange-haired maid Shy had seen yesterday, looking rather nervous.
“Not many know that you’ve lost your memory, my lady. I’ve explained the situation to some extent, so this girl will also keep her mouth shut about it to others. Shall I continue to assist you while your personal maid is still in training?”
Lowering her voice so only Shy could hear, the head maid spoke politely. Despite the fact that her mistress—once surely difficult—was now quieter, the head maid showed no sign of emotional shift.
“No, that won’t be necessary. I want to speak with this girl more, so please leave us.”
“Understood. Please call for me anytime you require.”
The head maid bowed deeply and withdrew.
Only Shy and the newly appointed personal maid remained.
Shy studied the young maid standing before her.
The girl looked frozen in fear of making a mistake. Her maid’s uniform, starched even more carefully than yesterday, was as stiff as her posture. Shy sighed softly.
“What’s your name?”
“Rosa, my lady.”
She’d only asked for a name, yet the girl bowed almost ninety degrees. Amused, Shy made a light joke.
“You don’t have to be scared. I won’t eat you.”
But instead of relaxing, the girl seemed to brace herself even more, answering seriously,
“Understood.”
With this level of tension, Shy wondered if she’d get any candid answers.
Or perhaps fear would make her more honest?
Did I really beat the maids before? I’ve always hated dealing with them, but the bad ones were the Alantra maids. I wasn’t foolish enough to take it out on the wrong people… so what did I do to get this kind of reaction?
She thought of the maids who used to serve her with flawless precision.
But first, there was something else she was more curious about.
“Rosa, as you’ve heard, I’ve lost about a year and a half of my memory. As my personal maid, I’m sure you’ve been told.”
“M-my lady…”
Rosa’s face turned pale, as if she’d heard something she wasn’t supposed to. But she forced herself to stay calm, and slowly spoke.
“Yes, I’ve been told. And among those who know, no one would dare speak carelessly. His Grace has warned us strictly, and if word gets out, we’d all have to give up our lives.”
At her grave tone, Shy smiled gently and soothed her.
“I didn’t mean to bring it up so harshly. I actually wanted to ask for your help.”
“Help, my lady?”
Genuine surprise appeared plainly on her innocent-looking face.
Her expressions show exactly what she’s feeling. But that alone doesn’t mean she’s actually innocent.
Shy nodded.
“Yes. I need someone who’ll be honest with me.”
It wasn’t that she particularly liked this maid. But from the way Rosa’s emotions were so poorly concealed, Shy felt she would react in some way even if she tried to hide it.
People answered with actions as much as with words.
Her first question to unravel her lost past was this:
“In a household like the Grand Duke’s, there should be not only maids, but also ladies-in-waiting. Even if they weren’t my personal attendants, I should have had at least one or two nearby. So why is it that only maids serve me?”
Rosa looked flustered, trying hard to maintain composure. The lack of an immediate answer made Shy suspect the worst—that she had driven them all away in a fit of temper.
Lowering her gaze, Shy murmured softly,
“Please tell me honestly. I’m very confused right now, having lost my memory.”
From the perspective of another woman, Shy’s expression looked fragile and pitiful enough to soften anyone’s heart.
She knew exactly how to present herself in the most delicate, stirring way—partly by nature, but also learned out of the necessity to survive.
Rosa couldn’t hide her anxious expression as she hesitated, but in the end, she spoke.
“…My lady dismissed all the ladies-in-waiting. You said the maids’ service was more than enough.”
A glint flashed in Shy’s downcast eyes. But Rosa, looking only at her bowed head, didn’t notice. She still seemed dazed by her mistress’s sudden change.
Shy couldn’t understand her past self at all.
Why?
Why had she made such a decision?
She couldn’t understand the reason for her bad behavior before—so why would she have also driven away the ladies-in-waiting?
