Chapter 84……………….
“How was your day? Did you spend it well?”
“Yes, I did. Honestly, it was just like any other day.”
“I’ve heard you’ve been keeping Lady Heinz by your side these days. Is there some matter I should know about…?”
“Oh, no. My sister is fine. Once the debutante party is over, she’ll be leaving Wintel Castle. Until then, we’re just staying together.”
“I see. Still, there are many concerns surrounding Lady Heinz. How about keeping a guard knight by your side? Wintel has many excellent female knights.”
Etisha only shook her head.
Having a guard knight would only make things more troublesome.
“Thank you for worrying, Cayenne. But a guard knight feels a bit too much…”
“Is that so…? I suppose that would be a burden as well.”
“And I can’t say for certain yet, but… I feel like Larrienne won’t pose any threat to me anymore. Still, if it bothers you, Duke, I won’t go see her again.”
“…Hm. Let’s sleep for now. We can continue tomorrow.”
Both Etisha and Cayenne went into their respective dressing rooms beside the bedroom to change.
Etisha came out wearing a thin white chemise, while Cayenne returned in black silk pajamas—though, as always, without the top.
It was nothing new, but once again Etisha couldn’t bring herself to look straight at him.
‘Ugh, why am I even thinking like this…’
They walked side by side to the bed, pulled back the covers, and lay down.
Etisha turned her back toward Cayenne, staring fixedly at the ornate white wallpaper.
‘It’s just my imagination. Just a delusion. There’s no way the Duke… likes me, right?’
Her hand clutched the pillowcase tightly.
‘That can’t be. He’s… he’s the Duke.’
Besides, Cayenne didn’t have a beloved mistress—no, he didn’t have anyone at all.
And though he was known as the cold, merciless sword of the North with no interest in women, he was always kind and gentle only toward Etisha.
And Cayenne was…
“Wife, may I hold your hand?”
“…What?”
“Just holding hands, nothing more. Would that also be burdensome for you?”
“…”
Etisha slowly shifted her position.
Instead of facing away, she lay on her back and glanced at him from the corner of her eye.
Cayenne’s deep black eyes were fixed on her.
Not distant, not unreadable—just wholly, directly on her.
How long had his gaze been following her like that?
Without realizing it, Etisha reached out, laying her hand over his where it rested by the pillow.
“Like this, is it okay? It doesn’t feel burdensome.”
“I see.”
Cayenne clasped her hand with courteous gentleness. His touch was soft, but for some reason she could feel a quiet intensity within it.
After a moment, he spoke again.
“Wife, what if I held your waist? Would that also be a burden?”
“…”
Etisha’s hand twitched.
Her body grew hot, her chest pounding as though she’d just swallowed scalding tea.
She didn’t know why Cayenne was acting this way—whether he truly liked her, or if there was some other reason.
But even without knowing, she didn’t want to refuse him.
“…My waist?”
“Yes.”
“Well… as long as you don’t hold me too tightly…”
“Understood.”
Still holding her hand, Cayenne slid his other arm around her waist.
With a gentle pull, Etisha was drawn straight into his embrace.
She fidgeted awkwardly, unfamiliar with the sudden closeness.
Sensing her discomfort, Cayenne let out a languid breath and loosened his hold just slightly.
Yet even that tiny release felt reluctant, as if he couldn’t bear to let her go.
‘I-I’m… in the Duke’s arms right now…’
It wasn’t as though this was anything new.
She’d already been held by Cayenne many times, in all sorts of circumstances. Physical contact with him was hardly unfamiliar.
‘But why… does it feel different this time?’
Etisha lowered her eyes, her blue gaze shifting uneasily.
There was indeed a difference—this time, it was voluntary.
Before, they’d only embraced each other due to accidents, illnesses, mishaps, or Cayenne’s feigned ailments… always because of circumstances.
But now, there was no such excuse.
They were holding each other simply because they wanted to.
‘…’
Etisha’s heart raced wildly, making sleep impossible.
And then Cayenne spoke again.
“…Wife.”
His voice was lower, rougher than usual—like a beast restraining hunger.
In a word, it was sensual.
“…Yes?”
Etisha’s reply trembled. Cayenne’s next words were laden with struggle.
“…How would you feel about a goodnight kiss?”
Etisha doubted her ears.
A what?
A kiss?
“I… don’t think I can fall asleep otherwise.”
He gave an excuse, but it was meaningless.
What grown man says he needs a kiss to fall asleep? And Cayenne of all people?
Etisha’s eyes shook. Cayenne gazed at her with longing for a moment, then sighed.
“No… forget it. That was careless of me.”
“…”
“It must be too much. I’ll keep my distance.”
Another sigh escaped him—hot and heavy.
Even his black eyes seemed fevered, barely suppressing turbulent emotions.
Etisha’s mind spun in confusion.
‘W-What is happening?’
A goodnight kiss… Did he mean he would kiss her? Or was he asking her to kiss him?
Or…
No, but a kiss…
“I-I don’t know…” she whispered, flustered.
“M-Maybe… on the cheek, that would be okay?”
After all, she had kissed his cheek once before—though by accident, in a shaking lift. But it had still happened.
‘So… doing it again shouldn’t be a problem, right…?’
Caught in panic, Etisha reached a desperate conclusion. Cayenne, however, wasted no time.
“I see. The cheek is fine, then.”
He tightened his arm around her waist and lifted his head.
“Then I shall kiss your cheek.”
His face drew closer—cool and flawless as though sculpted from the night itself.
‘Wait… this fast? Right now?’
Unable to withstand the approach, Etisha shut her eyes.
Her lashes trembled, her lips pressed tight.
‘Oh no…!’
Cayenne’s lips touched her pale, blushing cheek with a soft sound.
Her skin was flushed like a ripe peach.
And before she could recover, he pressed another kiss onto the same spot.
“…!”
Etisha gasped in shock.
‘Didn’t he say just once?’
But Cayenne was far too starved.
He held her tightly, showering kisses across her cheek again and again.
“Uhn…”
Overcome with embarrassment, Etisha twisted her head away—only to expose her neck instead.
Cayenne’s lips fell there.
“Ah…!”
A high cry escaped her.
At last, Cayenne released her. Flustered, Etisha covered her burning neck with her hand.
“Uh, um…”
“…”
“T-that is…”
“…”
Cayenne said nothing, only looked down at her.
Flames danced in his pitch-black eyes.
Feeling inexplicably self-conscious, Etisha pulled the blanket up to hide herself.
“…”
“…”
After what felt like an eternity, Cayenne bent toward her.
“…Forgive me.”
Etisha couldn’t understand why he was apologizing.
“N-no, I… it’s just…”
“I’m sorry, wife.”
He looked as though he were both reproaching himself and barely holding back the heat within him.
“Hah…”
With furrowed brows, Cayenne ran a hand through his disheveled black hair.
“Forgive me.”
He kept apologizing, though Etisha had no idea why he thought he needed to.
“…I’ll step out for a while. That would be best.”
Suddenly, he stood.
Grabbing the black robe draped over a chair, he slipped it on and headed for the door.
“Cayenne, where are you going?”
She asked, but he didn’t answer.
“To your office?”
He opened the door and left.
Etisha remained on the bed, staring blankly at the closed door.
‘Madness. I’ve lost my senses.’
Leaning against the closed bedroom door, Cayenne covered his face with his hand.
‘Like some beast… worse than a beast.’
He forced away the lingering image of Etisha.
He couldn’t believe the impulse he had nearly succumbed to.
It hadn’t been long since he swore to be careful with his words and keep his distance from her, and yet now this…
His fist clenched tightly.
His nails dug into his palm, drawing blood, but he didn’t care.
‘I almost forced myself on her…’
He had nearly touched her without permission—nearly kissed her where he had no right.
‘…Is this all I amount to?’
His expression twisted in self-disgust.
And yet, even as he berated himself, his desire for Etisha surged within him.
Her pale face, her flushed cheeks, her trembling eyes, those soft-looking lips…
She had said it was fine to hold her hand.
Fine to hold her waist, so long as it wasn’t too tight.
Fine to kiss her cheek, maybe…
‘But is that not enough for me?’
He let out a long breath.
He didn’t know the full depth of his desire for her—but it was clear he wanted more.
The longer time passed, the more restless he became, the more he craved her.
Several times a day, he longed to see her.
He thought of her voice, her smile, her touch.
“…Hah.”
Cayenne closed his eyes.
The corridor outside the bedroom was silent, swallowed in darkness.
He sank into that shadow, spending a long time alone.
It would take quite a while before the storm within him calmed.
