CHAPTER 43…..
Etisha studied Kaien’s face carefully, deep in thought. Something about him felt different, but she couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.
‘Spend the rest of my time however I wish… what does he mean by that?’
Was he telling her to forget the small stuff and focus on herself? Had Kaien been thinking the same way she had?
Etisha gave a small “Ah.”
“Your Grace.”
“Yes, Miss Etisha.”
She still couldn’t figure out his intentions, but she did know her own heart. Summoning her courage, she spoke.
“Does that mean… I can live however I want here in Wintel Castle?”
“That’s correct.”
“Even if it means having tea with your mother, or waiting for you to return?”
“Yes. And if there’s anything else you want, just say so. If I’m away, you can tell Valdefram.”
Etisha found a little more courage.
She already knew exactly what she wanted.
“No… I just thought of something I want.”
“Oh?”
“Duke Kaien… will you come with me?”
She hesitantly held out her hand to him.
She didn’t know what was on his mind, why he felt different than before, how things had shifted despite her decision to be a pretend duchess…
‘I don’t know any of that. But I’m not going to think about it right now.’
Forget the small things—focus on herself.
“Let’s go to the Snow Castle and have tea with your mother. The three of us.”
Looking up at him, she smiled naturally. A ray of sunlight pierced through the northern cold and shone down upon them.
The light enveloped the two of them, making it feel as if this moment were trapped in a halo, eternal.
“Today, I want to have tea with you.”
“……”
“Ah, of course… only if you’re not busy.”
Kaien looked at her outstretched hand. It was small and delicate. The fact that she had willingly extended it toward him felt both unfamiliar and strangely welcome.
He placed his large hand over her palm.
“A cup of tea… I think I can manage that.”
Luckily, today’s inspection of the territory had ended early.
Kaien entered the Snow Castle with Etisha. Perhaps it was the melting ice under the sunlight, but his expression seemed just slightly more relaxed than usual.
The Snow Castle
Before Etisha and Kaien arrived, there was already a guest seated in the reception room.
“……”
Dite sat without touching the teacup before her, instead wringing her skirt in her hands. She found being here with Lady Cirileze unbearably uncomfortable.
“…Dite.”
It seemed Lady Cirileze felt the same discomfort. She hadn’t spoken a word until the tea cooled, and finally parted her lips.
“I’m sorry for calling you so suddenly. I simply wanted to apologize to you in person for what happened last time.”
Lady Cirileze looked at Dite’s pale cheek. Thankfully, the magical healing had worked well—there was no swelling or trace of injury. But that didn’t ease her mind.
She had struck Dite’s cheek with her own hand—someone she thought of like a daughter.
“I’m sorry, Dite.”
“……”
“Truly, I am. I know saying this won’t make you forgive me. But please believe this much—I only ever want… for you to be happy for the rest of your life.”
She sighed heavily, her eyes tinged with bitterness.
Dite, who knew nothing.
Dite, who had grown up as a commoner.
To Lady Cirileze, Dite had always been a burden on her heart. She regretted not being able to explain the full truth to her, and in that regret, she tried all the harder to provide for her without lack.
“…If you’ll accept it, please take this.”
She brought out a box tied with a navy ribbon—a gift prepared for Dite. But Dite didn’t so much as look at it, let alone try to untie it.
“No, My Lady.”
Still wringing her skirt quietly, Dite murmured softly.
“You don’t have to give me gifts. I know you care about me.”
“Dite…”
“I’m the one who should apologize—for saying something so sudden. For talking about wanting to be Kaien’s mistress… someone like me shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, Dite. Don’t say ‘someone like me.’ Kaien, you and Kaien are not—”
“That’s enough. Please stop.”
Dite lowered her head.
She had been holding it back, but she couldn’t anymore. Tears began to roll down her cheeks. Once they started, they wouldn’t stop, flowing endlessly.
“I… hic… hhh…”
“Dite…!”
Dite covered her mouth and sobbed. Alarmed, Lady Cirileze stood and embraced her, patting her back awkwardly—comforting others was not her strong suit.
“It’s all right. Everything’s all right. I’m here for you. I’ll always be on your side. I’ll help you as much as I can.”
“My Lady…”
Through teary eyes, Dite looked up at her. Her large golden eyes trembled with a mix of longing and pain.
“I can’t allow you to become Kaien’s mistress, but… any other request, I can grant. Anything or anyone you want.”
“……”
“Do you remember what I mentioned last time? I even prepared potential suitors for you, just in case. Fallon, the rising banker; Isthist, the wizard they call a hero; Zinoa, the sea king who rules trade… you must have heard of them.”
She listed names known far and wide—all remarkable men, and all, notably, commoners.
“Any one of them would be a fine choice.”
Dite’s hands began to tremble. The shaking in her eyes had traveled to her limbs, making her body quiver.
“N-no.”
She shook her head, her blonde hair swaying limply.
“I don’t want to marry. I don’t want to meet anyone.”
“Then…?”
“I just… only…”
She shut her eyes tightly.
In her head, a voice spoke.
At first it had been faint, but over time it had grown louder—so loud now it felt like it pounded against her skull.
<Lies! All lies!>
Lady Cirileze’s words.
Her seemingly caring actions.
All of it…
<They’re lies!>
The trembling spread through her whole body, her shoulders now shaking as well.
“M-Madame Mongmad told me… Even if you’re born a commoner, if His Majesty approves and you’re adopted into a noble house, you can receive noble status.”
“…What?”
“If you really think of me like a daughter, then please, formally adopt me into House Wintel.”
“……”
“Then I can truly be your daughter… can’t I?”
Lady Cirileze’s face froze.
Her hand, which had been patting Dite’s back, stilled.
“If you did that, I would never covet Kaien again. Please?”
“Dite…”
“Not like a daughter—your real daughter. If you truly care for me, you could grant such a request… couldn’t you?”
“I’m sorry.”
Her voice sounded distant in Dite’s ears.
The voice in her head only grew louder.
<Ha! I knew it! Lies!>
“My Lady…?”
<Another lie! All lies!>
“If I could, I’d give you noble status. But that’s beyond my power. I can’t tell you why, but I…”
Dite stared at her with empty eyes.
She couldn’t hear her anymore. It was as if someone had plugged her ears—she could see her lips moving, but no sound came.
“I… I see.”
<Don’t be fooled again. There’s no way the noble Duchess of Wintel could ever truly think of a lowborn like you as a daughter.>
“It’s fine. I was just speaking nonsense… Please don’t mind it, My Lady.”
<To her, you’re just a diversion. The emperor’s canary. A pampered pet. That’s all.>
“I’m sorry for saying something so strange out of nowhere. I must have startled you… Ah, thank you for the gift. I’ll take it up to the tower and open it there. I’m so happy.”
Dite hastily wiped her tears and staggered to her feet. Her mind was a mess, her vision spinning so she could barely stand.
Lady Cirileze rose to help her.
“Dite—wait! Hold on!”
“Yes…?”
“Stay a bit longer. You’ve cried too much. Have some warm tea and calm yourself.”
“……”
“I’m so worried… What if you trip on the stairs up to the tower? You might fall.”
Dite rolled her eyes toward Lady Cirileze, who still held her arm. She couldn’t hear her words well, but from the gesture it seemed she was asking her to stay.
“I’ll tell the maids to bring fresh tea.”
She seated Dite again—but then, the reception room door slid open.
The expected visitors had arrived.
“Mother?”
Etisha.
It was Etisha.
Her talk with Dite had gone on so long that it overlapped with the tea time she had planned with her.
To make matters worse, beside Etisha stood the hard-to-see Kaien himself.
“It’s been a while, Mother.”
“……”
“Miss Etisha invited me. If we’re not intruding, I thought I might join you for tea.”
Kaien’s low voice rumbled through the reception room. Dite flinched where she sat like a wooden doll before the tea table.
She might not hear Lady Cirileze’s voice, but she could hear Kaien’s.
“…Kaien?”
Dite’s head creaked as she turned.
Etisha and Kaien came into view.
“No… today won’t work.”
Lady Cirileze quickly stepped in, shaking her head. This wasn’t a good time.
“Kaien, my dear. I’m sorry, but perhaps you and the young lady could come back tomorrow instead…”
She truly was worried for Dite.
Now that she knew Dite wanted to be Kaien’s mistress—and that she wished to become a noble—having her meet the future ducal couple felt risky.
“…I see. All right, Mother. We’ll come again tomorrow.”
Etisha turned to leave with Kaien. Judging by the atmosphere, something had clearly happened between Lady Cirileze and Dite.
And there were tear tracks on Dite’s cheeks—her eyes still red.
“…Yes. I’ll see you tomorrow, Mother.”
Kaien also started to leave with her.
But then—
“No! Don’t go.”
The cry burst from Dite’s lips.
It was aimed at the two leaving the room—
No. More precisely…
It was aimed at Kaien alone.
“Stay with me.”
