Chapter 05
“Sir José came to visit and asked if you were awake. I think Lady Gabriella probably sent him.”
“Oh, you mean about going to see Gabriella. I guess I could go.”
“Wait. Wouldn’t it be better to have Lady Gabriella come here instead? Earlier too—the incense burning in her quarters… it might be affecting you, Lady Maribel.”
“The incense, right, Luisa.”
I fumbled through the fragments of the novel I’d read.
“Because I was appointed as the Crown Princess, it was some incense meant to imbue me with blessings, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, yes. To absorb the blessing you can’t extinguish it until all five pieces are burned. Of course, we switched it to omdu incense wood. That tree is said to harden the inside of one’s chest if you breathe it for long. Lady Maribel, your plan is truly brilliant. If they believe it’s Puerto incense, they’ll never put it out. The Crown Princess’s body must be imbued with blessings, after all.”
“Uh…”
Good grief. This had to be my ridiculous dream.
But even if it all scattered away when I woke up—
Even if, in this fleeting dream, I had to play the villainess—
However pointless it might be, I couldn’t let my dead younger sister die again, not even in a dream.
I’d just go and snuff out the so-called Puerto incense wood!
That was my plan.
I’d stride in, full of confidence, and blow it out.
Split the wood piece in two if I had to. Whatever they said, I’d wake up soon anyway.
It was a simple, bold resolve.
Just as I was about to get up—bang, bang—a rough knock rattled the door.
“Maribel, if you’re plotting something, I’d stop now if I were you!”
It had to be that José fellow waiting outside. Acting just like my annoying kid brother.
Even here in my dream. Not even calling me ‘noona.’
Shaking my head, I said I’d go and started walking, only to freeze at Luisa’s shrill voice behind me.
“Lady Maribel! The veil?”
“The veil…?”
“It’s your mother’s side’s tradition.”
Was it? If I thought harder I might recall, since it hadn’t been long since I’d read the novel.
But I was too lazy, and besides, it was just a dream.
“It’s too hot.”
“I heard you’ve always been diligent about it. You never skipped it with me either.”
Never skipped it?
My eyes narrowed slightly.
Maybe Maribel, who actually lived here, had always done it, but I sure didn’t have to.
I smiled faintly.
“I’ll just skip it. You must be tired too, Luisa.”
“If the Duchess hears, she might be angry. She always says as the eldest of the Sephardi, you must show responsibility.”
“She can go ahead and say it.”
A dream I’d soon wake from—there was nothing to fear.
Looking panicked, Luisa draped a thin white shawl over my shoulders at least.
Her face looked like she’d cry if I refused even that, so I just nodded lightly and opened the door.
“You…!”
José—the spitting image of my half-brother Yoon Se-ho—gaped at me.
I narrowed my eyes at him, and he ground his teeth and muttered:
“So you don’t even care to cover that vile face and hair anymore. I’ll tell Mother.”
“…Do as you please.”
Whatever. My only goal was to see my younger sister once more, even if only in a dream.
No point exchanging more words with this guy; it’d only sour my mood.
Maybe because my lukewarm response annoyed him, José glared at me with frightening intensity.
He didn’t move either, and though I wanted to leave him, I didn’t know where Gabi’s room was.
“Do I have to wait here till you’re done talking?”
“If not for my sister’s request, I wouldn’t be here at all.”
My expression said “who cares,” and he spat out his words and strode off.
Under the blazing summer heat, I had to walk a long while.
Maybe my room was isolated on purpose; after a dark long corridor lined with tiles, we even had to cross a garden.
Nothing but cicadas. Neither of us had anything to say.
“You could’ve just refused.”
It was José breaking the silence with a cold tone.
“What?”
“If you’d refused, I wouldn’t have to watch this pointless act. You never once granted Lady Gabriella an audience when she begged you before. Not that seeing her would do you any good. You’ve perfected the art of tormenting her whenever you meet.”
A harsh accusation.
But I had no words.
So I just kept walking silently until José barked:
“You made a scene, even fainted. Now suddenly you’re acting fine. I can’t figure you out. What foolishness are you up to now?”
I felt a bit wronged. This time I was actually going to fix a mess.
The sun beat down mercilessly, making it hard to breathe.
His constant scraping words drew a frown to my brow.
He sneered at that.
“You, inheriting Sephardi’s name first. Father’s generosity is regrettable. Sadly Lady Gabriella seems to have inherited that generosity too.”
Exactly what Yoon Se-ho always said to me.
I finally opened my mouth.
“You should say that directly to Father, not me.”
It was exactly what I used to say to Yoon Se-ho too.
I knew perfectly how to provoke the youngest.
José’s neck flushed red with rage.
“Stop acting arrogant, thinking you’re like us.”
“Never thought I was.”
“If you know that…”
“But you can’t deny we’re half alike. That’s why you even speak to me politely. You’re clearly resentful of that, but that’s what you should take up with Father.”
“…What?”
“Was what I said so hard?”
At that, my shawl was yanked and I was lifted up.
Blue eyes blazing with rage—the eyes of someone who wished me gone. Eyes I’d seen countless times.
A collar-grab was practically a greeting between Yoon Se-ho and me.
But this time the damned shawl was choking me.
“Enough,” he hissed, boiling over.
Kicking and clawing at his arm, my vision blurred as I struggled to breathe.
I stomped down on his shin hard—thud!—and he flung me aside.
“For Sephardi’s honor, I’ll do even worse.”
José warned me thus.
I wasn’t scared—just familiar. I exhaled shakily.
“Ha… ha…”
Finally I could breathe.
That bastard aside, this damned shawl!
I began to yank it off in frustration—then froze.
“W-wait.”
“What, going to run tell Lady Gabriella again? Tell her you’re the most pitiful in the world? When you pushed her into a well, when you lured her into the underground labyrinth, when your maid gathered poisonous herbs and gifted them to her—all ‘misunderstandings,’ right?”
I couldn’t even tell him to shut up.
Because even while hearing the absurd crimes Maribel had supposedly committed against her sister, my mind was on one thing.
I could breathe again?
As a child I had sleep issues. A mild form of narcolepsy, maybe. I had trouble distinguishing dream from reality.
Sometimes it got serious.
In my dreams I was a hero comforting crying children and slaying pests. In reality, unable to tell dream from waking, I once got stung trying to kill a pest.
On the way home from the ER, my real mother told me:
If you can’t tell if it’s a dream, try holding your breath. In dreams, you can still breathe even with your nose pinched.
That advice helped a lot.
So then why—
Why now—
José raised an eyebrow at my expression.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“I… I should go. I’m not feeling well. I’ll meet her next time.”
I left José behind and retraced my steps at a run. I couldn’t meet anyone right now.
Back in my room I sent Luisa away. Alone in the empty room, I thought:
This is a dream. However vivid, it must be a dream.
Then why was I suffocating?
Why did it feel not like a dream at all.
