Chapter 01
“Hello—!”
A bright, cheerful greeting rings out.
Even with her hat pulled low, I can clearly see the way her eyes curve like crescent moons when she smiles.
I nod slightly, sitting down across from her, and now her radiant expression and open smile are right before me.
“Oh! It’s your first time here, right?”
“Yes.”
“Really? I’m so happy to meet you! So, who’s your favorite? Hmm… is it me?”
She asks playfully, glancing up between signing my album.
She keeps sneaking peeks, trying to make eye contact for even a second longer — it’s adorable.
But it’s also a little sad.
She must know better than anyone that no fan ever picks her as their bias.
Especially not a fan who’s coming to a fan-sign event for the very first time.
Even so, she doesn’t lose her cheerful spark.
Even though she knows there are no “home masters” (fan photographers) taking her photos, she still poses brightly for the cameras.
That’s what I’ve always loved about her — her kindness never changes, no matter what.
“A fan that left a lasting impression on me? Hmm…”
She reads the sticky note question aloud, thinking for a moment before replying.
“There was one! A really rare case — she was an unnie who liked me the most…”
For a fleeting second, her bright eyes dim like a lost puppy’s.
In that instant, I almost forgot myself and said, “That’s me.”
“Thank god. I held it in.”
“Oh… are you okay? Are you nervous?”
As I exhale in relief, she returns to her usual gentle expression, looking at me with concern.
Then, our eyes meet.
“Huh?”
Her eyes go wide — huge, startled, like a rabbit’s.
For a few seconds, she just stares, frozen, with her hand covering her mouth.
Of course she would.
After all, she knows me — really knows me.
And I know that in about three seconds, she’s going to scream.
“Shh!”
I lean forward quickly and whisper.
I have about a minute left.
Each fan gets roughly 100 seconds — I’ve already used around 20.
That’s 60 seconds to explain everything to her.
That’s enough.
“You know who I am.”
“Oh my god, yes! Of course I do! You’re Senior An Ji-hyun! From M.O.A!”
She tries to whisper but still sounds like she’s about to burst.
“I’m such a fan! Oh my gosh, is this a prank? Is this some kind of hidden camera? Are you filming ? Or ?”
Her words spill out in excitement — she’s practically glowing.
It’s exactly how she must have looked when she met that other fan years ago — the one who liked her the most.
The feeling of déjà vu makes my heart twist a little. I want to talk to her about it — to tell her I’m that fan — but time is short.
“It’s not like that.”
“Then what?”
“I paid for this myself.”
“Why?”
Such a simple but funny question.
I can’t help but laugh softly — she’s just too cute.
“Because I wanted to.”
“But… why would someone like you—?”
Why someone like me, huh?
There’s so much I could say to that.
Because I liked her — maybe even more than she liked me.
Because she was special to me in a way she could never imagine.
But there’s no time.
I hand her a letter I’d written beforehand.
“There’s something I really want you to do.”
“Of course! What is it?”
She starts fumbling through her things, guessing it’s a new challenge video, tail wagging like an excited puppy ready for a walk.
She even starts listing off the challenge videos I’ve done before, remembering the order perfectly — she must’ve watched them all dozens of times.
But that’s not what I meant.
“Soon, YTB is launching a trainee survival show. It’s coming up.”
“Yes, I’ve heard— wait, what?”
“Please move to the next seat.”
Already?
The fan manager’s voice cuts in, signaling the next fan’s turn.
I sigh but quickly take her hand and squeeze it tight.
“You have to join it. No matter what.”
Jang Se-hee.
Occupation: Student.
Hobby: Girl group fangirling.
“Did you see last night’s stage?”
“It was insane! They totally owned the show this year.”
Around year-end, idol fans buzz with excitement, talking about performances from all the big award shows.
But Se-hee — who loves idols more than anyone — can’t really join those conversations.
Because the idol she loves never appears on those stages.
Her favorite isn’t just unpopular — she’s what fans call a “failed idol”, a 망돌.
A group so small their fan sign-ups never fill,
so few fans that the manager recognizes them by name,
and when someone doesn’t show up, they actually ask,
“Hey, why didn’t you come this time?”
That’s MATE — the group Se-hee loves.
“Se-hee, what do you think?”
“Me? Hmm—”
Of course, she can still talk about idols — she’s been around the fandom scene long enough.
But when the topic isn’t her group, her words don’t carry much heart.
So when her friends gush about award stages, Se-hee feels more comfortable staying quiet, scrolling through her phone.
‘Today’s concept photos should be out.’
Just looking at her idol makes her happy.
She doesn’t need to fit in with others — this is her joy.
Browsing her idol’s fan page wipes away all her stress and fatigue.
And today, even more so — because it’s A-young’s turn for concept photos.
A-young…
Se-hee fidgets, whispering softly to herself.
She’s so cute. So pretty. What’s with that outfit? That headband?! They said it’d be a cute concept, but I didn’t think they’d go all in like this.
But when she remembers A-young will see the post too, her heart aches a little.
There are barely fifty comments under the group’s post — and none of them compliment A-young.
Except for one. Hers.
ayounglove: A-young can really pull off any concept. She’s so cute 😭💖
Let’s add a heart.
At least with so few comments, A-young might recognize her username.
Se-hee smiles, recalling the fan sign they shared —
how A-young’s eyes had sparkled when Se-hee told her,
“You’re my favorite.”
How her voice had trembled, touched,
“No one’s ever said that before. Thank you.”
The memory warms her heart.
Maybe at the next fan sign, A-young will say,
“Unnie, were you the one who left that comment? I saw it!”
Yeah, let’s think positively.
While she’s lost in those thoughts, class ends.
She quickly packs her bag and slips out the back door.
Lunch break.
If she’s quick, maybe she’ll see A-young today.
Haven’t seen her in a few days… I missed her.
By chance — or maybe fate — Se-hee’s small apartment is near MATE’s dorm.
So even without trying, she sometimes spots A-young at the convenience store buying a quick meal.
Always in a cap, from far away — but just seeing her makes Se-hee’s heart race.
Of course, she knows it’s not a good sign — idols eat at convenience stores when they don’t have schedules, meaning they’re probably struggling.
Still, even with a tinge of guilt, waiting at the bus stop or crosswalk, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, fills Se-hee’s heart with excitement.
When she finally spots that familiar silhouette in the distance—
“There she is.”
Today, she’s here.
