~Chapter 51~
The last words sounded like a whisper. That made them stick in my head even more.
It was practically a declaration to himself, no different from a vow.
Armin, who had been clenching his teeth so tightly no air could pass between them, relaxed the wrinkle in his brow and took a deep breath. His hands, which had been gripping my shoulders, let go.
âAhâŠâ
It was strange to feel the heavy pressure on my shoulders vanish. It also left them a bit sore, so I rubbed the area with my hand.
Armin pushed my hand away with a worried look and checked my shoulder.
âSorry. Did it hurt a lot?â
âOh, no.â
âI should have controlled my strength⊠you might bruise. Bellaâs skin is delicate.â
âIâm not exactly healthy, but Iâm not made of paper. I wonât bruise from something like this.â
But it seemed Armin wasnât listening.
âMorgan!â
When he shouted, heads popped up all around the garden from people I thought werenât there.
There were knights, and also the three maids he had assigned to me.
Among them, the only one allowed to speak, the butler Morgan, strode over and stood beside Armin.
âWhat is it?â
âBellaâs injured. Call the physician.â
After the butler rushed off, Armin called the maids closer.
âYou, support Bella.â
âUmâŠâ
âI want to take you myself, but Iâm worried I wonât control my strength again. Just this once, please accept the maidsâ help.â
It was just my shoulder, my legs were fineâ
But Armin kept pressing firmly.
âPlease go, honored guest.â
And of course, the maids were on Arminâs side.
With no choice, I pretended to accept their support and went back to my room.
Even without me saying anything, the bath was already filled with hot water.
Since I had ordered a bath every time I came back from a walk, it seemed âwalk â bathâ was now engraved in their heads.
Catherine stayed quiet as always, Marina kept glancing at me nervously, whileâ
âSomething loud happened. Did something happen to you?â
Viola went straight to asking questions.
âViola.â
Marina gasped, Catherine sent her a warning look, but she didnât care.
âWhat? Everyoneâs curious. Itâs the first time Iâve seen the master so angry.â
âLeave, Viola.â
Catherine pointed to the door.
Viola pouted but stood up. Catherine must be the highest among the three.
Then it would be better to show her some respect.
âCatherine. Iâm fine, so donât worry. Viola, you can come back.â
âSee? She said sheâs fine, why are you acting like that?â
Viola smiled slyly and stood near me.
âSo what happened?â
At first glance, it was just curiosity, but underneath, there was clear hostility.
âIt was nothing.â
I left out anything about my memory loss and only emphasized the part where I said I might not suit being beside Armin.
âSo thatâs why the master got angryâŠâ
Viola thought for a moment, then said:
âThe master was too much. Of course youâd feel uneasy. Honestly, an engagement can be broken any time, and youâre not the official wife. He could still promise himself to another woman.â
âViola!â
âI didnât say anything wrong. Right?â
She raised her voice in protest, then smiled awkwardly at me.
âI hope youâre not upset. Iâm only thinking of youâŠâ
âI know.â
I understood her shallow sincerity.
âBut my headâs a bit full right now, so I want to be alone. Could you all leave for a while?â
âAlright.â
âThen weâll wait outside.â
Catherine, who had her hands politely folded in front of me, turned and smacked Violaâs back.
Of course, Viola protested, âWhy are you doing that?â
Once the bathroom was quiet again, I sat with my body curled up, only my face above the water, lost in thought.
Does Armin really like me?
I had tried to gauge that on the walk earlier, but couldnât tell.
Feelings are subjective, and I hadnât known him long enough to fully read him.
This wasnât just about Arminâpeople are always hard to read.
Thatâs why I had always tried to guess othersâ desires.
If I knew what someone wanted, I could predict their next action.
Lady Hilton wanted revenge on Charlotte, so I asked for her cooperation.
The ghost painter wanted fame, so I pushed him to testify.
Until now, I thought Arminâs desire was to erase the past. I believed keeping me close was part of that goal.
But if I was wrongâ
What does he want?
If what he wanted⊠was meâ
What would he do next?
Thatâs where my thoughts got tangled and stopped moving forward.
Not knowing. Not being able to guess. Having to rely on luck frightened me.
The world had mostly been cruel to me, and luck was never mine.
Luckily, I had always survived somehow in a world full of variables.
I can do it again this time.
When my head is clouded and I donât know what to do, the first step is to separate truth from speculation. Only then can I see whatâs most important.
Whatâs certain is that he has no intention of sending me away.
I had also learned from scouting that the mansionâs security was tight and vast enough that I couldnât see it all at once.
I only knew a part of it, so leaving alone was impossible.
Fortunately, I might be able to get a useful helper.
I shook the bell by the bath.
âI want to stop the bath now, could you dry me? If I stay in, I might fall asleep.â
âYes, honored guest.â
âWhat did you say?â
âI said I want to make Viola my exclusive attendant.â
âWhatâŠ?â
Why?
Morgan barely kept himself from clutching his head. This was a guest of the Dukeâs houseâpossibly even the future lady.
âWith all respect, sheâs not suitable to serve you. She volunteered and sheâs skilled, yes, butâŠâ
Morgan glanced at me, afraid that saying this might make him seem incompetent.
âShe has presumptuous thoughts. So if you must chooseââ
âThatâs exactly why.â
ââŠWhat?â
Morgan looked at me before quickly lowering his gaze.
âI plan to give her a task only someone like that can do.â
For a moment, his chest felt heavy, as if my calm face had already known everything.
âSo, is it not possible?â
Morgan looked out the window at the distant hills.
Armin was simply frighteningâhe kept people close if they were useful, but otherwise the best case was a scolding, worst case was death.
Bella, however⊠she was hard to read.
She seemed generous to subordinates yet strict in some ways; she let people in easily but also pushed them away.
Someone like this trusts no one, keeps people only when needed, and doesnât give affection easily. She seems unpredictable, but itâs because she trusts her own instincts and judgment.
Morgan worried Viola didnât understand this.
He studied me again, but I was meeting his gaze as if wondering what the problem was.
In the end, Morgan gave in.
âUnderstood. Iâll have it arranged starting tomorrow.â
âThank you, Chief Butler.â
The bright smile I gave him hid emotions he couldnât read, which scared him.
He could only hope this wouldnât turn into trouble.
I had already known what Morgan meant by âpresumptuous thoughts.â
Viola liked Armin. Given the precedent of Charlotte, it was obvious.
Every time Armin appeared, a shy smile touched her lips; if he so much as glanced at me, she twisted her body like she didnât know what to do.
And then there was the jealousy she occasionally let slip toward me.
So careless.
If I were truly Arminâs fiancĂ©e, I would have driven her out by any meansâno one keeps a love rival nearby.
But Iâm not.
I want to leave this mansion.
And Viola likely wants me gone too.
We share the same goal, so maybe we could be allies.
At least, as long as sheâs satisfied with just getting me out.